Thursday, June 30, 2011

The new Joe Jonas video is here and you can watch it right now

Oh hello.

They include, but are not limited to, the following:

1.  Why is there a dress hanging on Joe's wall?
2.  Why is there broken stoneware on Joe's floor?  He is Joe Jonas.  He can afford a maid.
4.  How did the dress hanging on Joe's wall spontaneously combust, and has the manufacturer been notified that this is an issue?  More importantly, has the PUBLIC been informed that this is an issue, as we can think of few things more horrific than a pretty young girl, all done up in her nice new frock EXPLODING INTO FLAMES.
5.  Why is a girl dancing in the street?  Is it because she is all done up in her nice new frock and afraid she is going to explode into flames? 
7.  Is the smoke billowing across Mr. Jonas' neighborhood intended to be a message of support to all those in the American southwest who are currently battling out-of-control wildfires, and the thousands who have lost or been forced to abandon their homes and businesses because of them?  If not, did no one think that this could be construed to be in SLIGHTLY BAD TASTE considering that thousands of people have lost or been forced to abandon their homes because of out-of-control wildfires that were probably started by exploding dresses?
8.  WHY IS JOE NOT SHIRTLESS?  We know we keep saying that, but we're not even upset just because we don't get to see him without clothes at all in this video.  We are upset because we don't get to see him without clothes in this video and there is ACTUALLY A GOOD REASON FOR HIM TO BE SHIRTLESS IN THIS VIDEO.  You are in a BURNING HOUSE, Joe.  Take off your clothes, for chrissake. 
9.  Where did Joe get his wall sconces, because we would quite like one.

And so on and so forth.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Coldplay's 'Every Teardrop...' video is a waterfall of color and frivolity - watch now!

This is where pretentiousness comes from.
Despite the fact that he married Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin has managed to maintain favor with us for the sole reason that he churns out some bona fide tunes.  One of those tunes is Coldplay's new single, 'Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall,' which has wowed critics and confused listeners, but also become one of their bigger hits in the US.

Usually our SONGS OF THE SUMMER are tiny balls of poppers-smelling glitter, layered with drum tracks and disco whistles, but 'Teardrop' hops on our warm weather playlist by virtue of it being all soaring and escapist and epic.  Coldplay obviously knew this, because they made a video for the song that is also all of those things.

It's essentially several minutes of a neon seizure.  And it is very good.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Look, here is a thing by David Guetta, Nicki Minaj and Flo-Rida - watch the premiere now

Boobs, brains and....Flo-Rida.
There are times when a headline is wholly inadequate to sum up an entire post.

This is not one of those times.  For here, indeed, is a thing by David Guetta, Nicki Minaj and Flo-Rida.

It is not a bad thing.  It is also not a great thing.  It is, however, a decently adequate thing.  And that is...ok.

The song is a pretty by-the-numbers Guetta affair (as a side note, he is increasingly in danger of having such a notable sound that we will soon be able to say "it's very 'Guetta' " and everyone will just KNOW, much in the way something could once be "very Fatboy Slim," or more recently "very RedOne") which is to say it's your standard well-executed-but-ultimately-average dance track with some impressive guest vocals.  And also Flo-Rida. :(

In keeping with the theme of "alright," the video is your run of the mill THINGS HAPPENING IN LA WITH A CAMERA FILTER ON THEM clip, with a little CGI thrown in because it's a dance video and people who like dance music enjoy that sort of thing.

So no it's not going to set the world aflame, but what we do have here is a solid addition to any playlist and a quite serviceable video for "the clubs."  And we should all quit our bitching and be thankful for that, because THE MUSIC INDUSTRY IS DYING* and in this day and age it's a wonder that we get anything at all.


*the music industry is not dying

Monday, June 27, 2011

This new Lady Gaga thing is rather amazing - listen now!

If I was born this way I would qualify for some sort of disability benefit
We admittedly were ambivalent to Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' album, quite preferring her old and less preachy work to it.  But now something has shown up that has made us A LITTLE BIT OBSESSED with it.  It is the remix we have posted below.  It is a mix of ALL OF THE SONGS on the album and it is amazing.  It does wonderful things for each of the songs, and though we are sure some "little monsters" (ED: never use this term again.  ever.) will have us strung up by dinner time, we have no problem saying that we actually prefer the tweaked versions to the album itself.  It's 23 minutes of brilliant pop music all strung together in a genius way.  And it is glorious.

Lady Gaga - Born This Way (Jordan Howe Megamix) by Jordan Howe (jdhmixes)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Nadine Coyle goes for the gays on her new track - listen to the premiere now!

"I'll totally blow you for a top ten single"
What's a former girlband member with a massively underperforming debut single to do?  Go for the gays, of course.

And that's just what Nadine "Girls Aloud" Coyle has done with her new track 'Sweetest High.' 

It's ok.  Which is to say it would have been ok if it was 2004 and you were six drinks and a double-stacked ecstasy pill into the evening. 

It's available tonight on iTunes.  If you're into that sort of thing...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

It's BRITNEY VS XTINA IN LAST NIGHTS POP-OFF - watch their stuff now

We love each other, y'all

Last night was a VERY BIG NIGHT for teen pop divas-turned adult pop divas.  Not only did we get the first performance of Xtina's new single with Adam Levine, but Britney decided to one-up her and chuck out her own slick new video.

First up we had good ol' Christina, trudging her caboose out on stage for the last few seconds of Maroon 5's new single her new track with Maroon 5, 'Moves Like Jagger' on which she is NOT AT ALL AN AFTERTHOUGHT.  This song is actually growing on us - a bit like a fungus - but it's not like Chrissy has anything to do with that.  She's literally featured for about three seconds, during which she does some vocal runs and proves, ONCE AGAIN, that she can "saaang."  Still, it's very good and will hopefully set her down the road to musical recovery. 

Shall we take a look? Yes, we shall - but first, a warning - for the first .5 seconds of this video you will see the face of Carson Daly.  We apologize.

Not one to be outdone by her former rival, soon after the announcement that 'Jagger' would be performed last night, Brit Brit tweeted her intention to debut the brand new video for 'I Wanna Go.'  We already raved about the preview, in which she wears ironic things, stands by an ironic sign, and slashes paparrazzi with a microphone.  Ironically.  It's all RATHER GOOD INDEED if you can get over her one eye trying to get off her face.  Seriously, her makeup people can't fix that?  Whatever, it's still awesome and the rest of her looks hot.  Plus, flashing kids on the street is always cool. 

So did it live up to our expectations?  Yes.  Yes it did.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Adam Levine and Xtina team up for 'Moves Like Jagger' - listen to the premiere now!

Yeah, she looks like this now.
Adam Levine and Christina Aguilera are solid B-list performers (sorry Christina, but even Mariah drooped to a B+ after 'Glitter.' And you're not Mariah.) but their fortunes have both been looking up as of late.  After the kind of inexplicable success of talent competition/advertising revenue generator 'The Voice,' the two artistes figured they'd cash in on some of their new-found audience capital and chuck out a collaboration.

Maroon 5's last project did relatively okay, but Xtina's 'Bionic' was, in every commercial sense, an unmitigated disaster.  So it's probably a good idea for the bleached troll-doll of a pop diva to cozy up with Mr. Levine, since he's in a much better position than her to dust the crumbs off failure off her music career.

Commercially, the song is a great idea, but musically it's nothing more than decent.  It's got a cool kind of disco thing going, and we're actually digging the tune right now, but we're guessing no one will remember this even exists in a year or, it's kind of the 2011 equivalent of that Ricky Martin/Christina thing 'Nobody Wants To Be Lonely.'

Yeah.  Exactly.

It's at least a step in the right direction for Xtina's musical rehab, but as much as we love Maroon 5 we're totally calling them as the Hootie and the Blowfish of the late noughties/early teens.  

Note to Christina:  next time try to do something with Nikki Minaj and Rihanna.  Trust us.

Moves Like Jagger (feat. Christina Aguilera) - Maroon 5 by paganpoet


Monday, June 20, 2011

Britney looks GOOD in her RATHER AMAZING 'I Wanna Go' video - watch the preview now!

I'm coming for you, Gaga
When we first saw the preview for Brit's new video our expectations were pretty low.  If the single artwork was anything to go on, we reasoned, we were about to get some low-budget crapfest with lots of closeups of Britney's eyes or just her boob flopping around rhythmically for 4 minutes or something.  So you can imagine our surprise when the preview ended up being A LITTLE BIT SPECTACULAR.

Our initial thought upon seeing Britney's newly toned bod was "damn," and it only got better from there.  The microphone trick, the filming style, the distinct sense of "THIS IS HOW A VIDEO SHOULD BE DONE..."

We are very, very pleased, ScopiSubjects.  If Gaga thought she had won the pop diva battle she was obviously sorely mistaken.  Brit has certainly come out swinging - swinging a studded microphone, no less - and one gets the feeling it would be.....unwise... to count her out.

There are a few things in particular that make this preview amazing, and they are, in ascending order of amazingness:

1. Britney's abs
2. The marquee that advertises "Crossroads 2: Cross Harder"

So welcome back, everyone, to a world where Britney puts out amazing videos. 

Friday, June 17, 2011

In case you missed these bits of popaganda...Scissor Sisters, Gaga, and Kylie

Is there something on my face?
Remarkably, things happen in the world of music EVEN WHEN WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THEM, and here are a few of those things:

- Lady Gaga's new video is getting unanimously 'meh' reviews.  It's slick and well put together, but it's....a little boring.  When people point and Gaga and say "but anybody could have done that," she has a problem.  (Star Observer)

- The Scissor Sisters (amazing) are....wait for it...scoring the new Fraggle Rock movie (AMAZING) and it will be out relatively soon (ACTUALLY AMAZING).  (Rolling Stone)

- The Kylie Musical is still happening so everyone can relax and stop pretending it isn't.  (Sky Living)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

New Robyn is actually old Robyn but is still VERY GOOD - watch 'Never Will Be Mine' now!

Konichiwa, bitches.

Robyn is amazing.  That Robyn is featured in a new video is also amazing.  That Robyn is featured in a new video that is a reworked version of her EPIC MASTERPIECE 'Be Mine' is even more amazing.  That the bulk of the song is made up of a thing called Rye Rye is....less amazing.  But still amazing.

'Be Mine' never did anything here in the States, though it was top 10 in Europe and the UK, but hopefully that can change with this new release.  The protege of up-and-comer-who-never-came rapper M.I.A., we're not 100% sold on Rye's output yet, but this is a giant leap in the right direction. 

The video was partly filmed at Robyn's recent Cherrytree Sessions live performance, and otherwise filmed on a street corner where Robyn and Rye Rye were hooking or something.  Anyway, it's good, and here it is:

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The new Kelly Rowland sounds like the old Kelly Rowland but better - listen to the premiere of 'Lay It On Me' now!

I've got my eye on you, B.

So today the debut single from much-lauded X-Factor runner-up Cher Lloyd hit the internet, and we were all set to talk about it except it's a bit crap. So instead we're going to talk about something a lot less crap and a lot more Kelly.

Rowland, to be precise. She continues her reign of the clubs over in Europe, of course, but Stateside her handlers have insisted on taking the "urban" route. To be fair, it's a route that has worked so far, as her last single 'Motivation,' outperformed former bandmate Beyonce's 'Run The World (Girls)' by quite a margin.

Following on from her BIG AMERICAN COMEBACK, Kelly has now chucked out a tune called 'Lay It On Me,' and though it continues the urban vibe set by her last single, 'Lay' is thankfully a little more pop. It features Big Sean (yeah, we don't know either) and is considerably less crap than many of the songs currently troubling the radio dial.

Apparently there's an album coming sometime soon, and with songs like this we're starting to very much look forward to it.

Bring it, K-Ro.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Nicola, On-Air/On-Sale, and the future of music. And also a VERY GOOD NEW SONG.

This is my "buy my single" face.
Ok so Nicola’s single has debuted at a lowly number 27 but there is NO REASON TO PANIC.
You see, Nicola (read: Nicola’s handlers) has a plan.  A plan that probably didn’t include a barely-top-thirty debut, but a plan nonetheless.  It’s a plan that hops on the relatively untested on-air/on-sale model of selling a record, which has come into existence to battle the marauding troupes of music-plundering pirates roaming the interweb seas, and is accordingly either insane or brilliant or both at the same time. 
Traditionally, a song would go to radio a few weeks before its release, then a video would come out just as the single hit stores, and all of the pent up consumer demand would lead to a healthy peak position and all the GLORIOUS HEADLINES AND SHOWERINGS OF PRAISE that came with it.  But then the evil pirates came, with their Limewires and their torrents, and EVERYTHING CHANGED.  The throngs of music listeners became increasingly agitated that they could not own songs that they so very much loved until the “official release date,” so they began seeking out illegal copies.  And also a lot of people just wanted their music for free, but we’re fixing that (read: not fixing it at all) by arresting children and housewives and stuff.  As for the impatient masses, though, record companies came up with the on-air/on-sale model, where a track is available for purchase the very instant it debuts on the radio.    
Some notable artists have used the on-air/on-sale model already, but the majority of those are acts who had some sort of clout with the record buying public already -  Gaga, Katy Perry, people who can shift records based on their name alone.  So what to do with an artist like poor ginger Nic?  No one is going to buy the debut solo track of a girl who was in a band without hearing it first – especially after the whole Nadine debacle (sad face) – so it would be unreasonable to expect an impressive chart placing after only a few days at radio. 
But on the flip side, postponing the release could lead to some of those who want the track downloading it illegally, costing the label the revenue from those sales.  So the record company had a choice – either sacrifice a decent chart debut and risk the headlines proclaiming Nicola’s solo career a flop before it had even begun, or make a few hundred extra pounds off of some £0.79 downloads. 
And we all know which one they chose.
BUT FEAR NOT, SCOPISUBJECTS – for the “men upstairs” have thought this all through.  For you see, Nicola's number-twenty-seven-charting 'Beat Of My Drum' is more of a “buzz single” than a "proper single, and is only intended to drum up interest for the NEXT single, which will have the brand recognition created by this one behind it.  And THAT ONE (not THIS ONE) is the single that will properly launch the album, and be the one that everyone should care about. 
So in essence, according to the record company, who is always honest and forthcoming and infallible in every way, “everything is fine and this isn’t a disaster because we all knew it wouldn’t be a hit anyway because it was never intended to be, unless when it’s actually released it BECOMES a hit, in which case that’s what we always intended and we’re very glad it turned out just as we had planned.”
Just so we’re clear on that.  But the one thing we're not clear on still is whether the new on-air/on-sale model is a wise move for artists like Nicola, or should be confined to established acts who can sell records even without heavy airplay and weeks of promotion.  Is it really worth sacrificing a top ten chart position for a few extra pennies?  Or would a chart-storming debut create better buzz for the album and future singles than does a couple low-selling weeks of extra availability?  We tend to think the latter, but we're sure whoever does the books at Music Accounting Towers would disagree.
However this whole thing turns out, though, we’d just like to point out that this album is shaping up to be a genuine masterpiece of pop, in a way that is deeply, deeply exciting. In fact, we'll go so far as to say tat all signs are pointing to it being the genre-defining record of the year that Gaga thought she was making but wasn’t.  And no number 27 chart debut can take that away.

And here is the proof.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Ok Katy Perry's 'Last Friday Night' video is awesome and we need to talk about it


Ok we know we've been kind of hard on Katy, but we think that if we are all honest with ourselves we know exactly why.  She's always come off kind of snotty, and had a forced "OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I'M SUPER FUN AND WILL PROBABLY GIVE YOU A HANDY-J IF YOU BUY ME SHOTS" vibe.  Plus she married that hairy scarecrow thing.

So it has been with a certain amount of dismay and dread that we have watched the whole promo campaign for 'Last Friday Night' unfold.  First there was the literally epic single cover that showed up on "the blogs."  Then there was the cute little teaser that introduced the world to KP's alter ego - the nerdy outcast with thousands of dollars of corrective dental gear named Katy Beth Terry.  We knew the day would come when the video would come out in full, and that on that day our WORLD AS WE KNEW IT MAY BE CHANGED FOREVER.

And today, dear readers, is that day.

For there are a lot of amazing things in this song, and more importantly there are a lot of amazing things happening in this video.  In fact, a rather large proportion of all the things in the video clip are actually amazing.  95%, to be exact.

There is the wheelchair kid from Glee who somehow learned how to walk for this clip, there is Hanson, there is DEBBIE GIBSON, there is Kenny G, and in a SURPRISE TWIST there is Katy Perry being an actually tolerable person. 

Dammit.  Now we have to like her.

Friday, June 10, 2011


oh hello.
So however we feel about Madonna-mantis nowadays, no one can deny that she had some DEFINITE JAMS.  One of our favorites of the above-mentioned jams was a 1983 tune called 'Burnin Up,' which was actually Madge's first ever single.  It didn't dent the Hot 100, but did peak in the top 3 of the dance charts, and set the Material Monster up for her worldwide dominance that she enjoys from her macrobiotic oxygen pod today.

So when we heard that Britney was planning a cover of the song we were understandably VERY EXCITED.  And then we heard a clip and we were VERY VERY EXCITED.  And now the full version has leaked and it is KIND OF AMAZING.

Sure, it sounds like a b-side, and yeah it doesn't top the original, but who here really expected that it would?  The answer is no one.

But it's still amazing.

The Wanted get all shirtless in 'I'm Glad You Came' video - watch now!

Still not gay.
The Wanted's new song is a step in a very "now" direction, but while many artists and groups are ruined by blindly following trends, it just so happens that the club-banger-hands-in-the-air thing suits the boys from the band very well indeed.

We first brought you the sexual pun of a song a couple weeks ago, and now the gents have ramped up promotion for the tune with a music video.  It all starts off with some big titles in white letters and then some shots of the guys in the band and then some more letters and HOLY SHIT THEY'RE NAKED.


Thursday, June 9, 2011

Florrie is 'Experimenting With Rugs' in new video - watch the premiere now!!

Hello.  I am rather pretty.
We first told you about Florrie quite a while back, just about when she chucked out the ACTUALLY AMAZING 'Summer Nights' - which incidentally has been getting us through some STANK-ASS HOT Summer Nights here in New York City lately.

With the news that she would be releasing a new EP of tracks this summer we decided that now was as good a time as any to revisit the subject of her as an artist, so, as any good music writer would do, we spent 2 minutes on Wikipedia reading about things that people say that she has done that may or may not have happened. And we found many (read: not many) things.  Such as the following...

Some fun facts about Florrie "the artist":

1.  She was the house drummer for Xenomania (amazing)

Some fun facts about Florrie's music:

1.  IT IS VERY GOOD (amazing)

Some fun facts about Florrie's new video:

1.  It is very good in the way that a more talented version of January Jones writhing around a soundstage in black and white would be good (amazing?)

And that's all we really have to say about that.

'Experimenting' is off Florrie's upcoming second EP, which will be out on June 14

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

BRAND NEW Florence and the Machine makes us happy - listen to 'Not Fade Away' now!

I have just squashed a very gay bug
Oh, Florence. 

It's quite a good time to be a ginger, isn't it?  Nicola is gearing up to lord over the pop landscape, Flo-Mo is holding down the indie side of things, and last we saw, Rihanna still refused to rinse the neon Kool-Aid out of her hair. 

Obviously (read: not at all obvious and, in fact, quite unlikely) seizing on this GINGER REVOLUTION, Miss Machine has opted to release a brand new song.  It continues the Flo's tradition of chucking out tunes that are quite good, though some of that can be put down to the fact that it was first done by a bona fide pop icon by the name of Buddy Holly who was so awesome that Weezer did a song about him.

The whole thing is in aid of this Buddy Holly covers album thing that is happening, so unfortunately this doesn't signal an impending new Florence album, but we'll take what we can get as gingers are notoriously thrifty with their musical output.

Seriously, when was the last time Ginger Spice put out a song?

Aw, poor Ginger Spice.


Katy Perry is funny and likeable in her new video - watch the teaser for 'Last Friday Night' now!

We have sort of a love/hate relationship with Katy Perry.  In fact, you might say that our feelings toward her are Hot and Cold (Ed Note: this is terrible.  DELETE.).  But not only is her new song 'Last Friday Night' kind of great, she's begun teasing what promises to be a genuinely amusing clip for the new single.  This is VERY DISCONCERTING for us, as we were quite comfortable in our haughty disdain for the sugary starlet.

While she never took herself seriously in the way Gaga has of late ("EVERYTHING I SAY IS VERY IMPORTANT "), KP always gave off the impression that she took not taking herself seriously very seriously ("NOTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT AND IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW I THINK THAT") which is maybe even more annoying.  Because, as any kid on a family vacation to a water park can tell you, forced fun is infinitely worse than no fun at all.

But here we have Katy "bringing the LOLz" and such, and that throws a giant glittery monkeywrench in our Well-Oiled Machine of Largely Unwarranted Hate.  And we will never forgive her for making us like her.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Melanie C's new single is confusing - watch the premiere of the 'Rock Me' video now!

"not a lesbian"
Melanie C was a Spice Girl and then she wasn't.  She was a solo dance-pop star and then she wasn't.  Most recently, though, Mel was a sort of indie-rock chick, but if her new single is anything to go by, NOW SHE ISN'T.

If all of this flip-flopping leaves you a bit confused as to what Melanie "is," exactly, we don't blame you, and it certainly doesn't help matters that the single that is meant to announce to the world that she is NO LONGER "ROCK" is ACTUALLY CALLED 'ROCK ME.'

But her management's utter lack of situational awareness aside, C's new track is actually kind of a jam.  Not a "this will be huge" jam, though.  More of a "this would have been huge if it had been recorded by Kelly Clarkson in 2004," or perhaps more accurately, "by Sophie Ellis-Bextor when she was, you know, popular," kind of jam.

As for the video, it's nothing spectacular. Since the song will be used as the theme for the upcoming FIFA womens' soccer/football competition, there are lots of soccer-y people doing soccer-y things which is all well and good, but we don't even get to see them until like a minute into the clip after Mel has firmly established that she should NEVER AGAIN BE ALLOWED TO DANCE UNDER ANY SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES. 


Monday, June 6, 2011


We will let you come to your own conclusion, as long as that conclusion is that IT IS TERRIBLE.

Thank god the song is still amazing.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Nicola 'Beat Of My Drum' video is here and it is ridiculously good

So the new Nicola single is PROPERLY OUT now, and the breakdown of reactions goes something like this...

...except the uneaten pie stands for people who love the song and the small, sad, eaten portion stands for people who obviously have no taste in music and therefore do not enjoy the tune in the least.  And also just had a LOT of empty calories.

Though it's been out only a couple hours, 'Beat' is already in the Top 20 of iTunes, so apparently the large number of people who love the song are also the same people who are the sort to legally download a track that they like, which is definitely good news for everyone on Team Ginger.

The bigger news, however, is that ahead of its "official debut" tomorrow, the video has already found its way onto the interwebs.  And it is what we term a RESOUNDING TRIUMPH.

It's obviously made "on a bit of a budget" but is a perfect example of how natural charisma and a few fun and unique ideas can do quite a lot with very little.  In fact, it has more spunk and energy than most any of the videos coming from the big stars these days.  It's free from the overblown audacity that has become a near requisite element of post-Gaga music video making, and it is all the better for it.

There is no sweeping camera work, no "bigger is better" explosions or giant dance club scenes for no reason - it's just a girl with a ton of talent doing what she does best in front of a filming crew.  The viewer is left with the (correct) impression that Nicola is in fact the MAIN EVENT of the video, and we should all be grateful for this.  With a tiny flip of her hair and a few dance moves that look as effortless as they are well executed, Nic is shaping up to be "the real deal" and all the other divas out there who rely on tricks and big budgets and all manner of unshockingly-shocking antics should be VERY WORRIED INDEED.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Nicola Roberts is the new pop diva to watch out for - listen to the premiere of debut solo single 'Beat Of My Drum' now!

And THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is how you make an epic single cover
Nicola Roberts was always the sort of forgotten one in Girls Aloud - well, along with all the other ones who weren't Cheryl Cole.  But then she got kind of fashionable and then she got kind of fierce and with the debut just now of her first solo track, she also has VERY PROMISING MUSICAL OUTPUT.

Produced by some people that did things for Goldfrapp and a guy that made Britney sound like she gave a shit, 'Beat Of My Drum' does a great job of introducing Nicola as one of the very few artists who are not afraid to chuck out something that sounds completely different to everything else that is on the radio.

It's urgent, it's frantic, it's a barely-contained hurricane of beats and samples, but every time it verges on getting a little too messy it pulls it back and dives head-first into a brilliantly catchy chorus.  It does just what a great debut pop single should do - it pushes the boundaries but doesn't go over them, guides the conversation instead of just being part of it, and it makes a GIANT FLASHING NEON STATEMENT to the throngs of pop plebs chomping at the bit.

And that statement is: "Nicola is about to be huge."


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Jesus, the new Beyonce is really good - listen to the premiere now!

Bitch please, y'all thought I wasn't gonna come back bigger and better?
Ok we were more than a little bit worried there for a bit - 'Run The World (Girls)' was at best a mess, and at worst a human tragedy on par with one of those stories from India that are like 'MOTORCYCLE CRASH KILLS 12,000' or something.  

But, with 'Run' languishing in the depths of the charts even after a number of high-profile promo attempts, B's people have smartened up and begun preparing the next wave of Beyonce's '4' album campaign.


It's a thing called 'Best I Never Had' and it is a ballad on an epic scale as really only Beyonce can do these days.  For anyone who has ever loved someone they never could have, it will likely be QUITE MOVING INDEED.  And for anyone who has not, well, go to hell you soulless monsters.