Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Someone went to Janet and wants to talk about it - read the review now

Lookin Fine.
So we, unfortunately, did not score tickets to Janet's all-conquering (read: not at all conquering) tour.  However, one of our friends did, and he was super excited to tell us about it this morning.  His name is Tim D. and this is how our conversation went:

SS:  Hello Tim.

TD:  Hello Scopitone Saturday.

SS:  You went to Janet and we'd like to ask you a few questions about it.  First and most importantly, is she fat?

TD:  No.

SS:  Would it have been better if she was fat?

TD:  No.

SS:  Good.  So it was "sexy Janet."  Please go on.

TD:  My date liked her "short lesbian haircut."

SS:  Well in the interest of not offending anyone we will try to remember to change "short lesbian haircut" to something more culturally sensitive in the final article.  But for now let's talk more about the concert.  Did she dance a lot?

TD:  Yes.

SS:  Were her dancers hot?

TD:  I don't know.  I only remember her dancing with a couple of girls up on stage.

SS:  That explains the lesbian haircut. 

TD:  Yes. She did dance with guys though.  I just don't really remember that part.

SS:  Were you high?

TD:  No but I was very drunk and I think my date was too.

SS:  You seem to be bringing up your date a lot.  Did it not go well?

TD:  Not particularly, no.

SS:  I'm sorry to hear that.  Do you think he was using you for the tickets?

TD:  Not until you said that, no.

SS:  Well did you at least get some action?

TD:  No. But I think he has a developmental disorder of some kind so I'm ok with it.

SS:  Well that's probably a good way to think about things.  It's easier to cope with rejection when you vilify the person.

TD:  That's very true.  You are very insightful.

SS:  Thank you.  So now some final thoughts about the concert:  First, what was the best song?

TD:  'What Have You Done For Me Lately' because it's what I was thinking about my date.

SS:  And the worst song?

TD:  'Black Cat' because she didn't sing it and my date talked about it for 2 hours.

......So there's that then.  And here's a video.