Monday, November 28, 2011

Beyonce's 'Dance For You' video proves she needs to pop that kid out and get back to it

Don't worry, B.  We're bored too.
Ok look, Beyonce.  We know you're pregnant.  We know you have "other things" to think about.  But that really doesn't mean you should start slacking on your day job.  Which, judging from your latest video, is exactly what you've begun to do.  We know some record exec told you that in today's "new model" you have to have new product out every two and a half days, but like you, we're hoping this is a passing fad. 

Because until then, decent pop stars like you will be forced to trot out boring crap like this, which serves only to distract us from the LITERALLY AMAZING things you've taken actual time and care in putting together, like the 'Countdown' video that everyone loved for about ten minutes and then forgot about. 

Also, when the hell did you shoot this?  You're obviously not "showing" in this clip, which means it was filmed quite some time ago.  Did you just film budget videos for every single song on your album and then sit on them like a fabulously sassy bird on a stash of eggs?  Because if so, maybe this is one you should have "accidentally kicked out of the nest" during a particularly active nightmare if you know what we're saying. 

Do you?  Do you know what we're saying, Beyonce? 

Because we're saying it's crap. 

So stop being pregnant or whatever your problem is and get back to making amazing videos because having to write mean things about you makes us sad and WE DO NOT LIKE TO BE SAD.