Monday, October 25, 2010

Kanye West is a d-bag for 34 minutes in his new music video - watch now

Oh Kanye.  If there's any way to convince people you're not a self-obsessed narcissist concerned only with excess, it's making a 34-minute "film" to accompany your new track complete with giant explosions, fireworks displays and lingerie models trying VERY HARD to act.

We highly doubt a great many of you have 34 minutes (and not an "extended episode of 'Friends' 34 minutes," either - a long, tedious 34 minutes that makes you feel as though you were born watching this screen, and will someday die doing the same) to sit around and watch Kanye stroke his own ego, so here is a nice capsule summary of 'Runaway:'

          Everything starts with big red letters that say 'Runaway' and right off we know that this was all very pricey because it has a proper title. Then Kanye West does some things and then a woman in weird lingerie that makes it look like she's naked does some things and then Kanye West and the not-naked woman do some things together.  People eat and some other people dance and then a deer eats and the not-naked woman grows feathers and turns into a bird.  Kanye West becomes a 'Runaway' (see what he did there) and the not-naked bird woman flies into the sky and then big red letters say 'Runaway' again in case you forgot what you were watching because it has all been going on for so very, very long.

In sum:

The good:
1.  It looks as though it cost more than the entire GDP of Namibia
2.  There is a deer in it for no reason
3.  It says the title at the beginning like a normal thing but then ALSO AT THE END

The bad:
1.  Everything else.