Sunday, October 18, 2009

Musings re: Whitney's crack-tastic X-Factor performance (video)

Some choice moments from tonight's shambolic but somehow still absolutely immense performance of 'Million Dollar Bill':

1.  Whit's obvious lack of Spanx.  You're on live television.  Wear a girdle.
2.  Whit's absolute refusal to sing any notes outside a one-octave range.
3.  The 'crack-ho on the dance-flo' moves during the chorus
4.  Whit's finally noticing that her bra has LITERALLY SNAPPED OPEN at 3:10
5.  The fact that anyone allowed Whit to speak at the end
6.  Whit not actually knowing when her album comes out
7.  Whit's 'Ima cut you, Simon' moment at 6:00
8.  Whit basically calling the contestants utter and complete shit

Ten out of ten, babe.  Ten out of ten.   

Chart Chat UK: Oct 18, 2009

Oh how the mighty have fallen.  Robbie Williams' BIG COMEBACK TUNE, as well as being a bit shit, clocks up not-so-big numbers and has to settle for the number 2 spot this week.  In the end it's not  much of a surprise, though, because anytime you're up against a reality competition show winner you're probably going to lose.  That's right, last year's X-Factor champ Alexandra Burke easily claims the number 1 position with her new single 'Bad Boys.'  That pushes last week's chart topper Chipmunk down to 3 with 'Oopsy Daisy,' as Taio Cruz and Jay-Z round out the top 5.  The only other entry in the top 10 is a somewhat surprising placing for Michael BublĂ©, whose 'Haven't Met You Yet' slides in at 9 and becomes his first top ten in this country.  At 14 we have Whitney Houston sliding back after 'Million Dollar Bill' debuted at 12 last week.  Don't fret though, Whitney fans, as tonight's X-Factor performance is sure to catapult the track into the upper reaches of the chart.  Everything else on the chart is a bit boring to be honest, with top 20 debuts for Lostprophets and Mr. Hudson, an underwhelming Editors track at 23, and in what is fast becoming our least favorite thing to say, ANOTHER Black Eyed Peas song debuts, down at 26. 

The UK Top Ten:
1 - Alexandra Burke: Bad Boys
2 - Robbie Williams: Bodies
3 - Chipmunk: Oopsy Daisy
4 - Taio Cruz: Break Your Heart
5 - Jay-Z ft Alicia Keys: Empire State of Mind
6 - Black Eyed Peas: I Gotta Feeling
7 - Shakira: She Wolf
8 - The Saturdays: Forever Is Over
9 - Michael Bublé: Haven't Met You Yet
10- David Guetta ft Akon: Sexy Chick

Leona Lewis isn't "Happy" in her new video

When she's not getting punched in the face, Leona Lewis is busy making music videos like this one.  In it she meets a man and then loves a man and then loses a man and all she wants is to be HAPPY.  

Out now in the US on J Records, and out Nov 9 in the UK on Syco