Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Wanted's new video for 'Warzone' begs some VERY SERIOUS QUESTIONS - watch the premiere now!

Yeah.  It's that big.
Oh, The Wanted.  They're all set to "break America" (which for them likely means playing a few gay clubs in major cities and getting their tops off, all while talking about how absolutely straight they are) and are still riding quite nicely atop the UK charts.  They're all relatively good looking except for one of them (you know who you are), none have had a public mental breakdown (yet....fingers crossed on that one) and we're sure that when they go home at night they probably smile to themselves and think "I AM THE WANTED" and then poke needles into JLS figurines.  AS MANY OF US DO.

With everything going so swimmingly for the boys, their handlers are quite wisely keen to keep the momentum going.  And they're doing just that by slave-driving the gents to chuck out music videos at near-Rihanna-esque pace.  "Lightning" came out like, a few hours ago or something, and already we have a new one because blah blah youth attention span blah blah on-air/on-sale blah.  This time it's called "Warzone" and it features the boys in some sort of garbage dump or something for some reason and also a lot of fire.  Additionally there is a song that plays while all the "imagery" is happening, but to be honest it might be better if you turn the clip pretty far down because it is NOT THEIR BEST WORK although it's not terrible in a "at least it doesn't feature Nicki Minaj" kind of way.

Furthermore, as deep and meaningful as it is all probably supposed to be, rather than finding answers and emotional validation in the video, we find ourselves instead FILLED WITH BURNING QUESTIONS and, quite frankly, demanding some answers which The Wanted's people are welcome to provide in the comments section of this post.

Questions like:

1.  While we can all agree that the opening 2 seconds is amazing, why was it artistically necessary to feature a LITERAL FIREBOMB erupting from Max's ass?
2.  Why the hell was this filmed in New York City?  There is not one single aspect of this clip that identifies it as having been shot there, or would have required any sort of "on location" filming.  In fact, it could have been easily filmed on some dodgy soundstage in Wales for all we know, except that QUITE A BIG DEAL was made of it being filmed IN NEW YORK CITY.  This certainly begs the question whether illegal downloads are truly "killing the industry" or if the people who plan this sort of thing are doing a very nice job of it on their own because this whole endeavor was clearly a colossal waste of coin.
3.  Who the f is Director X?  Is he (or she) some sort of supervillain?  If so, this could do quite a bit to explain question #1 above.  If not, you have a stupid name, sir or madam, and we would very much like it if you could refrain from plastering it all over your clips in the future.
4.  Why is 'Warzone' a single? :(