Monday, July 11, 2011


I'm about to smack the sh*t outta your wind machine.
There's something about Kelly Clarkson that makes us smile.  It could be because she's pretty or because she's sweet or maybe because she knows Justin Guarini.  OR BECAUSE SHE IS AMAZING.

In case you've forgotten the epic novella that is Kelly's life, she started out as a regular person and stayed that way until she won some tv show and then sang some brilliant songs which made her a little bit less of a regular person and more of a celebrity.  Then she got huge (career wise) after which she told everyone to f off and did an album that was "personal" and "deep" (read: it was shit) and then she got huge (fat wise) and decided to sing BRILLIANT SONGS again.  Then we kind of forgot about her getting fat because her tracks were so good and also because Christina kind of "stole the show" with that one if you know what we're saying, and now she is doing another album that sounds as if it will be PRETTY DAMN GOOD.

In a weird-but-brilliant move, all of the YouTube tracks that have leaked have been slowed down in what is probably an attempt by the record company to leak the product without actually releasing the product - everyone can hear how spectacular the album is going to be without actually ever obtaining a copy of it in its final version.   From a "controlling the inevitable leaks" standpoint it's a great idea, but more importantly to us, if you listen to the songs and imagine how good they will be after they are sped up just a little bit, it suddenly will occur to you that there must be a God in heaven because this album is going to be brilliant.

On Friday K-Ca's (don't worry, we don't think that's going to catch on) alleged new single leaked, and everyone's heads exploded because it was super.  It is a pop/rock/shuffly thing that has a bitchy bite that we're not really used to from Big K, but that suits her quite nicely.  It's called 'Let Me Down' and it sounds a bit (read: exactly) like this:

So that's good then, isn't it.  But anyone looking for Miss Independent to follow a different path on this record than her usual "take a poppy rock song and then scream amazingly over it" formula will be disappointed.  Which is ok because those people who expect something new don't own her and she can make her own decisions and maybe she just likes doing these kinds of songs so shut up and bring her some cake.


So there they are.  One of them may not even be Kelly singing it.  None of them may be her new single.  Three of them will be greatly improved by having their original, faster speeds restored.  One of them will be slightly improved by having its original, faster speed restored.

And all of them are brilliant.

Welcome back, Kelly.