Tuesday, May 3, 2011

J.Lo says 'I'm Into You' - watch the video premiere now!

"To the craft services table, Jeeves.  Princess style."
It wasn't too long ago that we looked upon J.Lo with the kind of disgusted empathy that rich people direct toward the homeless wretches who huddle in their helicopter garages.  Jenny was back on the block, down on her luck, and the world had largely turned its back on her.  But wasn't it SOMEWHAT her own damn fault for like, having kids and a life and stuff?

The answer to that question is of course yes.

Or no or something.

Anyway her music was really shit for a while and that was probably the biggest problem, to be honest. Look at Britney - the girl doubled her body weight, forgot how to dance, married a stupider version of Vanilla Ice, and still topped the charts because HER MUSIC WAS SICK.  J.Ho on the other hand just kind of....went away for a while and every so often yakked up a tuneless cowpie of a record for no reason.

Well, the past is the past and JENNIFER THE CELEBRITY is certainly back on her game - American Idol, Most Beautiful Person, chart-topping success... but unfortunately JENNIFER THE MUSICIAN is not.  'I'm Into You' may have a sexy (BOOBS) and arty (BLACK AND WHITE) video to go with it, but no amount of "uncensored director's cut" horniness can polish this turd.

But it's ok.  She's still pretty.