Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Britney's new album title sounds like bad softcore or worse perfume, but 'Femme Fatale' will still be AMAZING

Logo nonsense FTW
Here's something about Britney from Britney's people. It basically talks about Britney in a way that makes her seem awesome and then says some stuff about her new album before talking about how super she is again. We're going to let the self-congratulation go because, to be quite frank, no one has ever written a press release about us and so we're really not ones to talk, and also we'd very much like to not alienate the whole of the "press-release-writing" union just in case it happens sometime in the future.

There is, however, still the matter of the album artwork which is alternatively AMAZING and SHIT depending on which part of the record cover you are looking at. To illustrate:



Because Britney is obviously VERY CLEVER, we can only assume that the juxtaposition of these extremes is quite on purpose, as a sort of preview of how the album is going to be. So, going off the cover art ratio, we are forced to conclude that the album is going to be 63% BRILLIANT and 37% TREMENDOUSLY BAD, which will slot it in very nicely above 'Circus' but below 'Blackout' in the list of Top 3 Greatest Britney Albums.

Here's the press release:

Britney Spears New Album Titled “Femme Fatale” – Official Press Release

New York, NY – Britney Spears announces her seventh studio album is titled Femme Fatale. The iconic global superstar’s title Femme Fatale is a tribute to bold, empowered, confident, elusive, fun, flirty women and men. It’s not a conceptual album, Spears is letting the music speak for itself. She’s worked hard on it for two years and she considers it to be her “best album to date,” true to where she is now personally and professionally.

Femme Fatale (Jive Records) is executive produced by Max Martin and Dr. Luke.
Spears is peerless among her contemporaries. Throughout the years, Britney has consistently released hit after hit for over a decade, selling close to 70 million albums cumulatively worldwide.

Few artists have earned the distinction of having five No.1 debut albums, and 24 Top 40 hits. She most recently set a new one-day precedent for single sales with her current No. 1 hit song, “Hold It Against Me.”