Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Britney is in love with a 'Criminal' in new video - watch the premiere now!

Don't drink and drive, kids.
Britney certainly is riding high, isn't she?  She's had quite a streak of worldwide hits off her Femme Fatale album, has just conquered the globe on tour, and now has two RATHER ATTRACTIVE MEN fighting over her in her new video.

Yes, the long-awaited clip for new single 'Criminal' is finally here, and IT IS A DOOZY ladies and gentlemen.  It's by far the best clip off the album to date stylistically, but more importantly Britney looks better in it than she has in years.  And even more importantly than that, it extends her already lengthy history of having LITERALLY THE HOTTEST MEN in her videos. 

First glam-Brit is all chillin at some posh party with a smooth talking Englishman who is an asshole to her in kind of a hot way.  Like, it would suck to get talked to like that, of course, and we're not condoning abuse in any sense, but goddamn, he could toss us around the room a bit and we totally wouldn't call the police until afterward because...well, because we have some issues.  Whatever it's none of your business.


Then B gets herself in a strop because apparently she isn't nearly as turned on by Duke Douchebag as we are, and marches outside only to run into some random gorgeous tatted pornstar-looking guy who kicks the crap out of the jerk and then whisks Britney back to his....storage unit?  Converted warehouse loft?  Whatever, doesn't matter, he's hot and then he bones her.

So everything's good right?  WRONG.

Apparently Porno Paul has been into some shady stuff (he is....wait for it....a CRIMINAL) and the police show up to make him pay for his many presumably hot and sexy transgressions.  Some stuff happens and for some reason they all open fire on the building because, why not, and then BritBrit and Smutty Sam tool off into the London distance on his bike because they're immune to bullets or something.

Long story short the whole thing is VERY GOOD and if nothing else reinforces the fact that no one in this world can fast-dance to a slow song like Britney Spears.