Adam Levine is naked and Xtina is in a floppy hat in the 'Moves Like Jagger' video - watch the premiere now!

Yes.

FINALLY, right?  They teased this thing like, last year or something, it seems like.  We totally understand it takes time to put a video together, especially with Adam off at the gym all the time and Christina busy taste-testing every item in her local supermarket bakery section, but COME ON.

Our personal impatience aside, though, the record execs upstairs clearly know what they're doing.  The song has sat at #1 on iTunes for a good many days now, and this might be the extra bump the song needs to stick around. 

Clearly the execs knew their visual strengths going into this too.  Ten years ago a video for this track would have been easy - just stick an underage Xtina in a bikini and make her dance like a stripper for a few minutes.  But this is 2011, and Xtina is.... "healthier," and the gays buy all the records.  So the suits had some meetings, talked it all out, stripped down Adam Levine in front of a camera and DID WHAT THEY NEEDED TO DO. 

And for that we will be eternally grateful.

The video is actually pretty interesting aside from Adam's peen pointers, too.  It has dancing!  It has Mick Jagger impersonators!  The ACTUAL Mick Jagger!  Xtina standing in front of a microphone!  And Adam effing Levine in a state of significant undress.

Well played.  Well played indeed.

Christina Aguilera and Adam Levine preview the 'Moves Like Jagger' video which is shaping up to be very good indeed

I am not unattractive.

We enjoy 'Moves Like Jagger.'  Let's get that out of the way now.  But we certainly don't think it's the BRILLIANT PIECE OF POP MUSIC that some of our friends are making it out to be.  It's nothing groundbreaking and - as evinced by the fact that everyone's already kind of forgotten about it - it's nothing that people will particularly remember in a few months' time.

The video, on the other hand, is going to be AMAZING.  Why?  Because ADAM LEVINE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF IN IT.  Also Christina looks thin.  So you know they dropped a wad of money on post-production cause making someone look skinny when they DEFINITELY AREN'T is not cheap. 

Here's the preview.  In which ADAM LEVINE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF.  In case we didn't mention that. 

It's BRITNEY VS XTINA IN LAST NIGHTS POP-OFF - watch their stuff now

We love each other, y'all

Last night was a VERY BIG NIGHT for teen pop divas-turned adult pop divas.  Not only did we get the first performance of Xtina's new single with Adam Levine, but Britney decided to one-up her and chuck out her own slick new video.

First up we had good ol' Christina, trudging her caboose out on stage for the last few seconds of Maroon 5's new single her new track with Maroon 5, 'Moves Like Jagger' on which she is NOT AT ALL AN AFTERTHOUGHT.  This song is actually growing on us - a bit like a fungus - but it's not like Chrissy has anything to do with that.  She's literally featured for about three seconds, during which she does some vocal runs and proves, ONCE AGAIN, that she can "saaang."  Still, it's very good and will hopefully set her down the road to musical recovery. 

Shall we take a look? Yes, we shall - but first, a warning - for the first .5 seconds of this video you will see the face of Carson Daly.  We apologize.


Not one to be outdone by her former rival, soon after the announcement that 'Jagger' would be performed last night, Brit Brit tweeted her intention to debut the brand new video for 'I Wanna Go.'  We already raved about the preview, in which she wears ironic things, stands by an ironic sign, and slashes paparrazzi with a microphone.  Ironically.  It's all RATHER GOOD INDEED if you can get over her one eye trying to get off her face.  Seriously, her makeup people can't fix that?  Whatever, it's still awesome and the rest of her looks hot.  Plus, flashing kids on the street is always cool. 

So did it live up to our expectations?  Yes.  Yes it did.


ADVANTAGE: BRITNEY.

Christina Aguilera takes on T.I. in new track 'Castle Walls' - listen to the premiere now!

Oh, Christina. 

Life just hasn't been what we all expected for our little genie in a bottle, has it? 

After countless (this is a lie, we could easily count them but cannot be bothered) hit singles and albums, her last LP straggled into the public consciousness already saddled with an "EPIC FLOP" metatag.  And, sadly, on the flop front it did not disappoint.  Not content to reject ONLY HER ALBUMS, the public decided that even her individual tracks should be shunned like a leper in a steamroom.  Singles wise, she hasn't troubled the top 20 since 2008, and her last track didn't even dent the HOT 100.

Then came 'Burlesque,' her 'Showgirls' wannabe film debut currently being laughed out of theaters, and a host of bad reviews that placed much of the blame on Xtina's shoulders.  Sure the gays love it, but the gays love anything shiny these days - doubly so if Cher is somehow involved.

So what's a down and out bottle-blonde to do when her career goes tits-up?  Yeah, you guessed it.  Duet with a rapper.

Here's her knockoff of 'Love The Way You Lie' or 'Empire State of Mind' or any other generic heartwrenching-but-not-really rap/vocal collaboration, featuring the GENIUS AND ELOQUENT WORDSMITHING of a fresh-from-Federal Prison T.I.

TI ft. Christina Aguilera - Castle Walls by omarafuni

Christina Aguilera's 'Bionic' is an EPIC FAIL

Oh, Christina.  How it has all gone so very, very wrong.  First the lead track 'Not Myself Tonight' sputtered just about everywhere it was released - it only made it to #23 on Billboard's Hot 100, and even in the UK the track struggled to a disappointing #12 - and now any hopes of the campaign being saved by the album release have been dashed, diced, and spat upon by a troupe of Lady Gaga drag queens with murder on their minds.

Yes, we've seen some rather lackluster album debuts recently, but 'Bionic''s 111,838 even throws under Mariah's disastrous 'Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel' which debuted with 180,000 in the U.S.  In a sad coincidence, both records bowed at number 3 on the Billboard Top 200.    'Bionic' fared a little better - chart wise at least - in the UK, where it scraped to the number 1 position.  It certainly did better than 'Memoirs,' which tanked outside the top 20, but Christina's accomplishment is somewhat tarnished by the fact that it had no competition and sold only 23,000 copies.  In a country that still buys records by the bucketload, that's pretty dismal.  Like, 'MacGruber' dismal. (EDIT - it only gets worse, as this week the album plunged from 1 to 29. Yes.  29.)

So today, as you are celebrating your fathers, take a break from all that masculine energy to spare a thought for Miss Aguilera, who is probably crying into her macrobiotic what germ as we speak.

Chalk this up to a terrible choice of first single (didn't we learn anything from Kylie's '2 Hearts'/'X'??) and Christina's refusal to give the public what they want.  Her fan base has matured, and as much as she wishes she was still 'Dirrty,' we have plenty of electro-skanks already.  What we don't have plenty of are seriously talented vocalists who can literally rule a tune like 'You Lost Me.'  Let's hope her label chucks it out as the next single and turns this ship around.

Christina unveils her 'Not Myself Tonight' video, and we don't hate it - watch the premiere!

We previously wrote about how Xtina's new track was a bit 'Sexyback-lite,' and went on to say generally not positive things about it.  There are of course some brilliant bits, and she's got a mighty nice set of pipes, but the deafening buildup to the track rendered it nearly impossible to appreciate on its own merits.  Luckily the video has surfaced, and gives us a few shiny new praises to heap upon Ms Aguilera's already over - Bedazzled heap of comeback press.

It's pretty, futuristic in a sort of retro sense, and it also sort of is a blatant ripoff of Madonna's 1989 'Express Yourself' clip in the way that people run out of ideas and then decide to fix it all by "paying tribute" to some creation that nobody doubts would be better off left alone. 

All in all, though, it's the best Christina has looked in years (read: ever) and she certainly pulls off the whole glossy shebang with the ease and style of a true professional. 



"Well done."


Out for download now in the US, and available May 2 in the UK.

Christina Aguilera finally unveils 'Not Myself Tonight' - listen to the song premiere now!

It's 'Sexyback' - lite.  It's 'Dirrty' but a little cleaner.  It's the new Christina Aguilera track on which we've been waiting for about a year now.  There was a whole countdown thing on her website that ended up ticking down the minutes until we were given....a picture of Christina Aguilera with a tail.  Then there was another countdown to something else irrelevant and now FINALLY there is this.  Was it worth the wait?  We're inclined to say no - not out of pessimism or some sort of retaliation for the tedious countdown, but because it just isn't one of her best songs.  The verses are a little weird, the chorus isn't particularly catchy, and as we alluded to before, the backing track is a 'Sexyback' ripoff.  There's a cool bit where the producer did a jumpy thing with her voice though.  It occurs at the exact 2:00 mark and is a tiny bit brilliant. 



The album is out June 8. 

Listen to 18 Seconds of Christina Aguilera's new single and tell us what you think

THIS JUST IN: THE LATEST FROM CHRISTINA AGUILERA'S MARKETING FAIL....

Chrissy A., pictured above after filming a low budget Bulgarian porn video, has been attempting to do the whole viral marketing buzz thing and to be honest it's flopped a bit on its ass.  We got a little excited when a countdown appeared on her website, but when it got to zero and all we got was a dodgy picture of X-tina in bondage gear with a photoshopped tail we were less than impressed.  Wisely, Miss Aguilera's people have decided that it might be a good idea to give us a taste of what we actually care (however little) about - her new music - and chucked this 18-second clip of the new single onto the interwebs.  It sounds a bit like a Gaga b-side but because it is EIGHTEEN F*CKING SECONDS LONG we will withhold judgment until we hear the rest. 














"Not Myself Tonight" premieres in full on March 30 and it had better be good. If it's not we won't be mad. We'll just be DISAPPOINTED.

That Christina Aguilera thing we told you about is this:

Yeah.  That's all.  

The new single will premiere next week or something but we stopped caring when she baited us for days all for a photograph with some words on it.  But if the song is amazing we'll totally love her again.  Because we're fickle.  And that's ok.

In like a day and 2 hours Christina Aguilera is going to announce something...does anyone care?

Our guess is she's going to reveal details of her forthcoming single 'Glam,' and a sponsorship deal with Mystic Tan.  We'll let you know.