Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The new Natalia Kills/Will.i.am video is like an AMAZING VERSION OF LADY GAGA but not pretentious or preachy. But a lot like Gaga. Like, a lot.

One certainly is fierce, isn't one.
As Lady Gaga continues her descent down the Lauper ladder of ridiculousness and unsustainability, the scramble is on to find the NEXT BIG THING.  Most of the people who are "in the know" figure that thing will be a little lady by the name of Natalia Kills, who has yet to find success despite being quite hotly tipped.  Like, she had a hit in Germany for two seconds, but so did Kazaky and JEdward so that's not really something you want to Twitter blast.

The long and the short of it is she's basically Lady Gaga but British and less preachy.  And her new song is amazing.  It's - in keeping with a theme, apparently - just like Gaga used to be before she decided she was Born This Way with horns and shit.  The video for 'Free' is a little spectacular too.  Natalia looks like a methed-out extra from 'Wicked,' and there are words on the screen every so often so you know it's classy. Also there are some shots of people sticking shoes down their panties.

As you do.

The track also features Will.i.am for absolutely no reason, saying ridiculous things for absolutely no reason, and sort of lurching around the video for absolutely - wait for it - no reason.


Cher Lloyd's 'Swagger Jagger' video is kind of great but if you tell anyone we said that we will stab you in the ear

Yeah this is a thing now.
So here's the thing - the Cher Lloyd song is crap.  Everyone knows it's crap, everyone says it's crap, and everyone knows they're right to say so.  But it is also kind of amazing.  It's a ridiculous queef of a song that lyrically makes no sense whatsoever and musically is on par with a Roomba having a stroke, but - God forgive us - we're a little bit in love with it.  In like, a really aggressive, German leather-porn kind of way.

The weird thing is, we were just okay with the track until we saw the video, and then for NO REASON we fell head over heels for it.  Which is kind of comforting, because it leaves open the possibility that Simon Cowell has inserted subliminal messages into the clip or something (because come on, that is totally something he would do), but unfortunately it's hard to believe that's the case, considering the openly hostile response the video has received on the interwebs.  It has something like 17,000 "thumbs ups" on YouTube versus around a billion "thumbs downs," which is dangerously close to Rebecca Black territory. 

Let's take a peek at some of the comments shall we?

- "anyone who actually buys this shit needs to have their fucking brain amputated"
- "gud tune"

So some very eloquent points on both sides of the debate, then.

We have to wonder what exactly is motivating all the hatred, though, since the clip is colorful, BANG ON TREND, and features a generous dollop of Ms. Lloyd's undeniable charisma.  And also a Cheryl Cole drag queen.
Meet your TrannyBingo host - every Thursday night at the Boston Clipper in Northampton.

Whatever the reason no one seems to like it, we're perfectly happy having it be our dirty little secret.  Bring it, haterz. We're off to get our brain amputated.

"I mean...."