Nelly Furtado's BIG COMEBACK SINGLE is here - listen to the premiere now!

This is an amazing single sleeve.

After cementing her place as a duchess of pop (not quite a princess, but not a Dev either...) with hits like 'I'm Like A Bird' and 'Say It Right,'  Nelly Furtado took her millions of royalty dollars and went off to a spa or something for a few years.  And also recorded a Spanish language album because of course.

But now she's BACK BACK BACK and ready to show these new young whipper snappers how it's done.  Her new single, the kind-of-geniusly titled 'Big Hoops (Bigger The Better)' thankfully eschews the clubland donkfest that somehow has become the droning background noise of the 2010s, and instead goes for an upbeat dancehall vibe with an unexpected drum and bass outro.

It's "very good" in the sense that it sounds like not a lot what's out right now, and also "kind of mediocre" in that it's not the catchiest thing we've heard.  To be fair though, Rihanna made number 1 hits out of far less, so we're not ruling anything out.

Her last appearance on the US singles chart was way back in 2007, so if she's going on name-recognition alone she'll have her work cut out for her. But at the very least, it's nice to hear Nelly's unique vocals coming out of our speakers again.  Now we just have to wait and see if the rest of the world feels the same way.

Here's 'Big Hoops':

Marina and the Diamonds previews 'Electra Heart' album - listen now!

Someone hasn't shaved...

Indie-pop darling Marina Lambrini Diamandis, better known as Marina and the Diamonds, dropped the lead single off her new LP 'Electra Heart' a couple weeks ago, and it is brilliant.  It is called 'Primadonna' and is the kind of tune that Katy Perry would be doing if she was less concerned with her chart placing and more concerned with being an actual musical artist.  And also if she actually wrote anything with like, meaning.  The track is hard-hitting both musically and lyrically, with a combination of sunny beats and withering social commentary that we really haven't heard since Lily Allen burst on the scene.  

Understandably, the unbridled brilliance of 'Primadonna' raised expectations for its parent album, but everyone can now stop wringing their hands in fearful anticipation because it appears that the entire album is LEGITIMATELY QUITE AMAZING.

Marina's people have chucked a nifty Youtube sampler thingy on the interwebs, and we've done you the favor of pasting it below.  You should probably go ahead and click "play" on it since we have a lot of ground to cover before we get there.  You might as well multi-task. 

If you followed our advice (and if you didn't you're a dick) you're a few seconds into the opening track, and already are beginning to realize what we already know:  if the half-minute clips are anything to go by this will be one of the best pop albums of the year.  It's timely without being gimmicky, deep without being inaccessible, and, perhaps most importantly, full of Marina's personality and (many) vocal quirks.  We mention that last bit as the "most important" because with Ms. and the Diamonds' swing toward the slick radio-friendly sound of mainstream radio, she ran the risk of her tunes sounding like everything else that's out at the moment.  

Nearly all the tracks are balls-to-the-wall bangers and nearly all of them are amazing.  Sure, the dubstep thing seems a bit unnecessary, and not all the songs reach out and grab the listener right away, but we're prepared to give it a preliminary 7.5 out of 10 solely for the apparent absence of any autotune.  Add in the presence of SOLID TUNES and an opening stomper called 'Bubblegum Bitch' and we have on our hands an album with a hearty 8 out of 10 rating.

Of course none of this necessarily will translate into actual success for the singer.  She's long been knocking around as "one to watch" but as the pop world veers ever further into the seething chasm of slick, soulless tracks with no personality, it only becomes harder for artists who refuse to pitch-correct themselves into chart clones to actually make any impact.  It's the same problem facing the Scissor Sisters' new track - the production, energy and hook are all there.  But the jury's still out on whether the masses will give a chance to something with a little more substance than "I HAVE FALLEN INTO AN AUTOTUNE MACHINE WHILE CLUBBING AND SLEEPING WITH MANY PARTNERS."

In fact, the subject matter Marina covers often preaches against the vapid and fame-obsessed pop culture assembly-line that has steamrolled the music industry with its synth-laden sameness.  But by burying her subversive messages in catchy hooks and sparkly beats rather than her usual brand of acoustic-y indie pop, she might just be on to something.  That she made the switch to dance music without losing her viewpoint and her own sense of artistry - indeed Marina seems to play the role of pop vixen with a knowing wink - makes the whole thing all the more impressive.  And on 'Electra Heart,' her somehow "authentic" transition to dance diva, Marina uses the masses' own musical weapons against them.  The only question is whether anyone will fall for it. 

The Jessie J train rolls on with 'Laserlight' ft. David Guetta

We had something for this...

The other day we wrote about how Calvin Harris has his fingers dipped in just about every pie these days.  We neglected to clarify that he only has his fingers in the pies that David Guetta didn't get to first.  WHICH ARE A LOT.

It seems nearly every mid-to-major popstar has worked with the DJ lately, and now Jessie J has hopped on that train with her new single.  It's called 'Laserlight' and it is all about...well, lasers and lights we imagine.  With these donkfest club bangers does it really matter?

It's not bad by any stretch, but it also comes off as a bit of an also-ran in the grand scheme of things.  The whole dirty-synth club track thing long ago reached what we thought was the saturation point, but it appears that once again we overestimated the masses and their desire for something - ANYTHING different and groundbreaking.

Ah well, it'll be nice to dance to at 2 am. Even if it is no 'Domino.'

The new Scissor Sisters single 'Only The Horses' is very good

Just a normal Saturday night at Scissor Towers

Ok so here's the thing.  The Scissor Sisters rock our socks.  There was a time when Calvin Harris did too, but now that everything in the world sounds exactly like a Calvin Harris song, the sock rocking has diminished significantly.

Which presents us with a conundrum.  The amazing Scissor Sisters, who are known for their singular viewpoint and unique take on modern pop, have joined forces with the still-amazing-but-overexposed Calvin Harris who makes everything sound like...well, a Calvin Harris song. 

Is it amazing?  Or is it annoying because the Sisters' sound has been diluted by "the machine" that is radio-friendly pop schlock?  The answer is that in the broader context of "THE STATE OF POP MUSIC" it is a very good version of something we've heard a million times before, albeit with a lot more soul than the usual autotuned garbage that litters the charts.  In isolation, though, when examined on its own musical merits, it is a tremendous feat of pop, and maybe just the thing to rid the Scissors of the stink of failure that still clings to them from their last album.

Plus there are sure to be some stomping remixes so to be completely honest it really doesn't matter how good the song is (even though we have already established that it is, in fact, very good).  Even if it was a hulking pile of absolute shit, the gays would still get some good shirts-off poppers-o-clock discowhistle action out of it, and at the end of the day isn't that what really matters?

The answer, of course, is no, but whatever.

Here's 'Only The Horses.'

THE NEW DRAGONETTE SINGLE IS HERE AND IT IS PHENOMENAL

THIS IS A THING THAT IS WONDERFUL

Only in the rarest of circumstances do we post twice in the same day but THIS IS ONE OF THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES, albeit mostly because we were lazy and forgot to post the Saturdays thing earlier.

But the real reason we are posting twice is because no matter what else happens in the entire world we are morally obligated to write about any new Dragonette music because they are LITERALLY AMAZING, and because they are without a doubt the most underrated band in existence today.  Both of these statements are facts and if anyone reading this doubts them, they can sit on a knife because that person is of no use to a society that values incredible songs and also because fuck you, don't question us.

Anyhoodle, here's the new Dragonette.  We already mentioned that it is AMAZING but let us just underscore once more that it is ACTUALLY TREMENDOUS in the most epic sense possible and deserves to be number 1 for 17 weeks and then win every Grammy including the spoken word children's book category which is an actual thing for some reason.

If you like The Saturdays, you will like their new song '30 Days' - listen to the premiere now!

One of us is wearing very blue tights.

Does anyone else remember a time when an artist's music came out at reasonable intervals and entire album campaigns weren't abandoned after a couple of months?  BECAUSE WE DO.  Apparently, though, the rest of the world has forgotten how nice it was to have a band put out some tunes and then "live with them" for a while.  We loyal listeners would be treated to a few different performances of each single on some different tv shows, and maybe even a live jazz version or something after the track had become a hit so it didn't seem too pretentious, of course.

But those days are over, ScopiSubjects, or at least they are for The Saturdays and their ilk.  Their last album was released in November of 2011, but they group have already moved on to new material - ostensibly from a new LP.  It might be for the best, of course - it's not like "On Your Radar" set the charts afire.  It limped in at a dismal #23 in the UK, and then disappeared into Wikipedia quiz obscurity immediately thereafter.

But never fear, suits at Fascination Records whose new home balloon payments depend on the girls' royalties!  In the interest of "keeping the momentum going" for the band, The Sats' handlers have decided to gloss over that album, pretend it never happened, and start fresh and new with brand-spankin fresh material....that sounds more or less like a track that would have been rejected from the very album they're trying to forget for being "a bit too crap."

Because of course.

That's not to say it's bad by any means - '30 Days' finds the foxy fivesome doing what they do best: slick dance-pop with a ravey poppers-and-glitter vibe.  It's not going to win the band any converts, but at least it's not a complete misfire. 

And on the upside, at this rate we'll have 3 full new Saturdays albums by Christmas.



'30 Days' is out in the UK in May.

UK XFactor Judge Tulisa's New Donkfest Single Is Here

Terrifyingly, this is not the sex tape.

Is it a coincidence that the brand new single by former N-Dubz group member and current UK X-Factor judge Tulisa is coming out mere days after her sex tape "accidentally" leaked?  Tulisa's team says that yes, it is, but we're pretty sure they were winking and maniacally laughing the entire time.

After all, it seems pretty convenient that the whole idea of the track is "oh when you're young you do stupid things, so screw you all I was young and also when I say I'm sorry in the song what I actually mean is f*ck off and then buy my album" considering the surrounding circumstances.

Even if the one-two punch of a sex tape and single (a phenomenon which we're terming "sex single") is a giant promo stunt and everyone knows it, the truth of the matter is it will probably work.  Which is good because otherwise there's no way this song would get noticed.  Pre-sex tape, this track would be a top 40 also-ran.  Now Tulisa's likely looking at a top 10 hit and a place on every tired Ibiza-themed compilation from now until next summer.

"We Are Young" - not to be confused with the Fun/Janelle Monae track that actually contains some artistic merit - is a by-the-numbers Euro donkfest meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator, and will do just that.  Sure there might be some killer remixes, and yeah it'll sound good as background noise while we drunkenly glitter bomb the drunk girl who shoved in ahead of us at the bar, but nothing about this track is particularly special or memorable in any way.

Which is fine.  Thanks to her sex tape we at least know she's good at SOMETHING.

The Gossip are back with 'Perfect World' - listen now!

I am Beth Ditto and you are now my slave

The Gossip are an underrated band and everyone knows that except the people that should be rating them more.  Their frontwoman Beth Ditto is an amazing force of musical nature, and even though she's off pursuing solo stardom she still has been working with her band because THE WORLD CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH BETH.

It's certainly taken a while - their last single was back in 2010 (though their most recent chart hit came in 2009) - but the group are screaming back onto the scene with alt-pop corker 'Perfect World.'  It's not the usual poppers-and-glitter donkfest we fawn over here, but to be fair Gossip have always turned out some BALLS TO THE WALL remixes so we're not too worried.  Also the single is produced by F*CKING XENOMANIA so anyone who has a problem with it can just go sit on a knife.

It's a welcome return and we can't wait to hear the rest of the album.  Unless it's crap.