Sky Ferreira has great 'Sex' - listen to the premiere now!

This is my hipster bathtub

Sky Ferreira gives us some BIG-ASS MUSICAL WOOD, if you haven't picked up on that by now.  If anyone should be the NEXT BIG THING it should be this little pop strumpet, who rocks the street cred Madonna had back in the early 80's and the looks Gaga would kill for.  Sky's got that uber-hip Meatpacking district look going on, has some serious musical chops, and is pretty much Mary-Kate Olson but, you know, with talent.

Her new track - currently offending the obese heart of America in a series of CK ads - is an 80's retrofest of the best kind, with synths and drum breaks galore.  Sky's output has been a little scattered so far, as her handlers try to decide what direction to take the starlet in, and she's been testing the waters with a variety of very different sounding buzz tracks.  Though she hasn't managed any real chart success yet, her electro masterpiece 'One' (her UK debut) bowled over the critics, while her more mainstream fare (her American releases) have met with a resounding "meh" from pretty much everyone.  So hopefully the upcoming official release of 'Sex Rules' signals a definitive turn toward the 80's electro sound, since no one is particularly interested in having another Ke$ha foisting pestilence upon the world. 

The track doesn't come anywhere near the brilliance of 'One,' but is a nice enough tune with a summery vibe, and should act as a great soundtrack to the return of warmer weather. Now if she could just get that damn album out without it being delayed...again.

Gaga's 'Born This Way' video premieres and it is.......ugh, just watch it

She was born this way.  With a makeup artist, airbrushing and a giant wind machine.

This whole Lady Gaga thing has swiftly turned a corner and become a sort of epic shitshow of self indulgence and art-school narcissism.  It sorta began with the 'Alejandro' video, which received some pretty scathing reviews from just about everyone, and, apparently, Gaga took those criticisms and said 'screw you all, I'll do the same thing just weirder and with less of a point and an actual birthing scene for no reason.'

Sure there are some good bits.  But there are far more bad bits.  Also, we do not need to see ANYONE being ACTUALLY BORN, thank you very much, regardless of....well, regardless of anything, really.  

To be fair to the woman, you certainly can't look away from this clip - but it's kind of the music video equivalent of last night's Oscars ceremony.  It's trying desperately to be young and hip, but really just ends up being self-congratulatory, expected, and a little cringey to watch.

Womp womp.

Ke$ha makes one of her best videos for what is easily her worst song - watch 'Blow' now

"Thanks for hiring me but just a heads up, you smell real bad."

What the hell, Ke$ha.

Everyone knows you are a trashy whore with a debilitating fear of bathing facilities, but despite the fact your disease-riddled weave looks like it was dyed with a combo of Clorox and toilet water we've always had your back because your music is undeniably catchy.

UNTIL NOW. 

'Blow' is a ridiculous mess of a song and your odd vocal affectations are doing it ABSOLUTELY NO FAVORS WHATSOEVER.  Furthermore, how it possibly took an army of songwriters and producers to chuck out this garbage is beyond us because a small band of infant gorillas could have crafted a better tune in less time and with less of an entitlement complex about it.  But, once again, we find ourselves crapping all over one aspect of your creative output while being brutally forced to praise another.  Pure crappiness of the song aside, your video for the track is actually kind of cool, albeit in a low-budget schlockfest kind of way, and with the sound down it's very nearly enjoyable to watch. 

The vid is all UNICORNS and LIGHTS and "KE$HA SEXY POSE" and also Jason Van Der Beek for some reason - and even though it has a definite "fifth single from the album" vibe to it, the video is likely the only thing that may save your 'Blow' single campaign from outright disaster.  We know you've become accustomed to life in the upper reaches of the charts as of late, but  come on, let's be honest - even if this garbage was by the Glee cast featuring Justin Bieber, it would still be a push to scrape the top 40.

It's pretty obvious Team Ke$ha are just treading water until your mess of a remix album comes out, so at this point everyone should really just cross their fingers, hold their noses, and pray this song tanks quickly. 


Ke$ha, honey, we're not mad.  We're just disappointed.  

It's Scopitone Saturday! Donna Theodore has 'Femininity' in this week's selection

Once again it is time to suckle at the teat of 60's genius, as your Saturday Scopitone returns with a doozy.

Donna Theodore was a staple of shows like Johnny Carson and something called B.J. and The Bear which was not, we were disappointed to find, a gay porn.  She was one of those singer/actress things that were ALL THE RAGE back in the day, long before autotune and airbrushing allowed fat southern girls with no talent to be famous. 

Donna's most famous song was 'Femininity,' which chronicled the hatred and discrimination she faced because she was SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL.  She really was a looker, and was quite the fruitfly as well, apparently, since in this clip she spends all her time surrounded by gay guys in pastels. 

Far East Movement thinks '2 Is Better' with Natalia Kills

In 10 years this is what every Starbucks will look like

British songstress Natalia Kills is one of those artists that has been "up and coming" for a very long time.  So long, in fact, that we've begun to wonder when she'll just get it over with and COME but if history has taught us anything it's that all this junk is entirely unpredictable and our NEXT BIG POP STAR will probably be none of the hotly tipped youngsters we talk about, but rather an aging 3-legged dog from a former Soviet republic that howls along to Heidi Montag songs or something.

Or just Heidi Montag :(

Anyhoodle, despite not having a breakthrough hit yet, Natalia is still plugging away - this time with LA-based Far East Movement, who have a couple of rather large hits under their belt already.  The song is a gloriously hip electro affair, and the accompanying clip is equally SUPER-NOW and is probably the result of a focus group who decided that "DOWNTOWN GLAM-CLASH" or some other ridiculous term that actually means NOTHING was the aesthetic of the future and shot a whole video in a condemned Williamsburg warehouse without ever realizing that Lady Gaga already did this in 2009 after she ripped off all the kids who had been doing this since 2005. 

But whatever it's still super good.

HOW IS THIS A THING

No.

Scissor Sisters want you to get it for free - download 5 free tracks from the band

"Very talented people standing in a blue room"

Poor Scissor Sisters. 

Actually no, not poor Scissor Sisters.  Sure, their last album flopped in the UK and Europe, where the American band had found their only success, but now they're upping their game in their homeland with a supporting stint for LADY EFFING GAGA, and that kinda makes up for any amount of floppage no matter how horrifically their latest single crashed and burned (number 81, in case you were wondering).

To get all the Yanks - who have more or less ignored their existence altogether - prepared for their peculiarly awesome brand of funky pop, the group has decided to let everyone get a nice five-track sampler of their tunes for ABSOLUTELY FREE.  Included on it is the actually brilliant 'Invisible Light,' which is being tauted as the track that will turn things around for the band - and it very well might do it, too.  With a NSFW video (titties!) and a killer hook (sing along to titties!), it's certainly well on its way already.

They also did a "clean version" of the video too (no titties :( ), which is understandably far less fun, but we get that some of you out there "work" or whatever, so here it is, 100% boob-free:



And don't forget to download your free sampler HERE

Britney wants you to buy a lot of things in her 'Hold It Against Me' video

"Hmmm...maybe this should have come out two weeks ago"

Leave it to Brit Brit to pull a GENUINELY GOOD video clip out of her dimpled ass right in time for no one to care about it.

Just as everyone stopped giving a crap about 'Hold It Against Me,' Brit has decided to finally chuck out a video for the song.  Unfortunately for her, it's probably not going to get anyone to care about the track again, but fortunately for a number of manufacturing conglomerates, it will get people caring about their products.

It all starts out well enough, with a plug for Brit's own perfume (acceptable) but it quickly escalates into a PROMOTIONAL SHITSHOW with close-ups of a Sony TV (understandable) and the dating site PlentyOfFish (WTH?!).

As for the "plot" of the video, it mostly consists of Brit standing around in some sort of terrifying Japanese computer shop which is playing her old videos for some reason and then participating in a (rather spectacular) fight scene with herself which leaves her bleeding neon paint all over her pretty white wedding dress.

Oh yes, a wedding dress.  For whatever reason Britney is standing in a terrifying Japanese computer superstore IN A WEDDING DRESS.  We presume this is because her wranglers would like everyone to subconsciously believe that, regardless of the head-shaving, poon-flashing and hick-marrying, Brit is once again pure and virginal and.....oh wait she's dancing in black leather with a gay guy.

NEVER MIND.



"AMAZING"