All Mariah wants for Christmas is a hit single - listen to the premiere of her brand new X-mas tune

Mariah's last album, 'Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel,' in addition to being one of the most horrifically named records in recent memory (ScopiSat actually was hoping for 'Mariah Carey:  The Squeakuel'), was a BIG BUDGET EPIC FAILURE, whose very mention strikes terror in the hearts of record execs the world over.  It has been certified Gold in the US thanks to some dodgy wrangling and chart technicalities (the record label shipped just over 500,000 copies, even though far, far less have been sold) while in the UK the whole project tanked outside the top 20.

Regardless of her recent commercial failures, mental breakdowns, general trashiness (seriously, we know you love butterflies, just leave it alone) and high-calorie stress eating, Mariah is still remembered fondly for her hits, perhaps none more than 'All I Want For Christmas Is You.'  It was (and remains) that kind of VERY RARE pop Christmas song that becomes an instant classic - that all at once seems timeless and of the moment - and really sets the tone for the holidays.

Well, Miss Cannon has decided to try to catch green and red lightning in a bottle once again.  Because that's super easy to do.  To be honest we kind of stopped caring about Mariah once she "recovered" from her little bout with insanity, but we suppose the song is pleasant enough.

Now that it's October, when the holiday season inexplicably begins for some reason, we can all enjoy this little slice of festive mediocrity.  And then go listen to 'All I Want...' again because it is still AMAZING.

Shakira goes 'Loca' in new video with Dizzee Rascal - watch the premiere now!

Ah, Shakira.  So talented.  So beautiful.  So ESL. 

Shakira has been one of ScopiSat's favorite artists since her actually-quite-incredible album 'Donde Los Ladrones' entered our lives in 1998.  Sure there have been a few ups ('Wherever, Whenever') and downs ('Hips Don't Lie' but we wish they would sometimes) but through everything she's done we've been at least tentatively on board.

Well the unnaturally blond one has launched another single, by the name of 'Loca.'  We always thought "loca" meant "crazy," but the interwebs are under the impression that the phrase "es una loca" means "he's a real queen," or, that "loca" means, simply, "whore."  So......do with that what you will.

'Loca' features Dizzee Rascal (alright) and was produced by Pitbull (horriffic) but actually turned out to be quite a tune.  Check out the clip and let us know what you think:


SHAKIRA : LOCA (2010) OFFICIAL VIDEO
Uploaded by artemis181. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Out now for download. 

Kylie tells Radio One to 'Get Outta My Way,' performs 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head' and covers Hurts - HQ MP3 download links!!!

Kylie took over Radio One's Live Lounge - an acoustic live show on, well, Radio One - yesterday, and while some artists crash and burn under the pressure of having to ACTUALLY SING LIVE, K-Mo seemed absolutely in her element.  There's a reason she is Princess of Everything Everywhere, and this is it.  Because we are so awesome, we've decided to give you some links to download high quality radio rips of the three songs she performed - brand new single 'Get Outta My Way,' a cover of Hurts' 'Wonderful Life,' and an absolutely epic rendition of her signature hit 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head.' 


Get Outta My Way (Radio One Live Acoustic)
Wonderful Life (Radio One Live Acoustic)
Can't Get You Out Of My Head (Radio One Live Acoustic)

You're welcome.

Jamiroquai take us on a 'White Knuckle Ride' in new video - watch the premiere now!

Jamiroquai are the kind of post-disco-house-party band that we always wished would come to our parties but never did because they found ACTUAL SUCCESS.  As a band they have straddled the fine line between poppy and credible for a number of years, and every so often they deliver a break-through hit that sets the charts afire.

This is also the band that gave us one of the defining music videos of a generation - 'Virtual Insanity,' with its ever-shifting walls and weird blood-floor for NO REASON - so its fair to say they have a high standard to live up to with new single 'White Knuckle Ride.'  Unfortunately, ScopiSubjects, they kind of dropped the ball on this one.  Sure, it's not terrible, but it's essentially some high-def video of a helicopter flying around the desert, halfheartedly chasing a car that is offroading even though it is clearly not designed to do so.  Nothing really happens, but the song itself is rather nice.

 
Jamiroquai - White Knuckle Ride
Uploaded by jamiroquai-france. - Explore more music videos.

A solid 6/10 seems appropriate.  Now everyone go buy Kylie's 'Get Outta My Way' so it doesn't become the epic flop it is threatening to be.

Glee does Britney - listen to some Glitney tracks now!

We're just going to come out and say it.  We hate Glee.  Not the idea, no, and we actually loved the first couple episodes.  It was biting, satirical and - most importantly - it told a compelling story.  Since then, however, it's devolved into a messy hour long commercial for the music it churns out.  At this point it's pretty clear that the "men upstairs" just decide what super great songs they want to rape, and then shoehorn the plot around them while a bunch of 32 year-olds dance around pretending they are promiscuous teenagers with biologically autotuned voiceboxes.

That said, a Britney episode is coming up and that is AMAZING.  Why, you ask?  Because it is BRITNEY. 

Here's a preview of what tracks we can expect to hear:



The Britney episode airs Tuesday at 9 EST on FOX

Prepare to watch the most amazing piece of crap you've ever seen

This is a band called Mmadcatz, singing something called 'Puppets' and it contains the best inter-band high-five in pop video history at 2:20.

It is a song about puppets that neither cry nor die and is absolutely terrifying in terms of both subject matter and execution but is also PHENOMENAL for a number of inarticulable reasons. 



You're welcome.

Is anyone else a bit sick of Lady Gaga pontificating?

....Just us then?



We get it.  Gaga's a huge star.  She has sold millions of records and holds the rapt attention of millions of gay hipsters the world over.  And to be fair what she's advocating in this video is quite a good thing - we here at ScopiSat are staunchly against Don't Ask, Don't Tell (we are a pop blog for chrissake).  But something about this video just rubs us the wrong way...

Maybe it's that she "addresses" it to specific members of the Senate of the United States of America, before "educating" them on what, exactly, Don't Ask, Don't Tell is.  Because, as members of the US Senate, they clearly don't know.

Maybe it's the SUPER SERIOUS voice she puts on while reading her script.

Maybe it's the (actually quite good looking) lip injections she CLEARLY had.

Or maybe we just need a break from the Lady for just a bit.

In any case, she got a lot of people talking about Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and regardless of how she did it, we're appreciative of that.  And let's not forget she showed up to the MTV Awards with a bunch of discharged gay servicemembers.  And gives (a lot of) money to (a lot of) great causes.  And in all actuality the rest of the video past the 2:00 mark is kind of good.   But still....

Let's just avoid the "talking down to elected officials" thing, shall we?

A rational discussion about Cheryl Cole's 'Promise This' video premiere

F*CKING BRILLIANT




Ok for real though.  It's super nice to see Cheryl ditch the faux-urban mess of the last album and embrace the pure pop cultivated by her stint with Girls Aloud.  If there's one thing history has taught us, it's that pop artists should never, ever go "street" to try to stay relevant (we're looking at you, Ricky Martin's 'I Don't Care') and Cheryl, thankfully, looks to be sidestepping that pit of despair and chart humiliation.

After an epic bout with Malaria that essentially stalled her career in its tracks for a few months, Cheryl needed a smash and it looks like she may have turned one out.  'Promise This' is the rare pop record that is literally QUITE WEIRD but also VERY AMAZING at the same time, and the video mimics that odd but glorious energy.  It's a sort of 90's-dancing-meets-ballet-and-high-fashion-at-an-art-school-student-showcase affair, but against all the odds, it actually works.

With Cheryl set to be a judge the forthcoming American version of 'X Factor' (you know, because she has lots of experience being SUPER SUCCESSFUL in America), things certainly are looking up after the wobbly start of her debut solo album.  Not commercially, of course - it was by all accounts a huge smash - but the whole project was ridiculously divisive amongst critics, 'the blogs' and, most importantly, the fans.  This time around, though, looks like this is one 'Promise' Cheryl can keep.  (Yes.  See what we did there?)



'Promise This' is out Oct. 24, followed by her album 'Messy Little Raindrops' Nov. 1 in the UK.  A US release is set to follow (HRNK!!!)