Cheryl Cole and Will.i.am tell us '3 Words' in new video- watch now!

'3 Words' is by far the best track on Cheryl Cole's new solo album. The song is simple yet catchy, by-the-numbers but groundbreaking. It's one of those songs that begs for a video, but for which a video can never live up to. In short, it's a pop masterpiece. The video, however, will no doubt be divisive, as it's all Gaga-weird and retro strange. It comes off as some sort of hipster art installation but with a budget and a proper makeup artist, a bit like an art school project that the really rich girl in class gets her father to fund. "Daddy, I simply MUST have Will.i.am." Etc.



Still, it's a lot better than most of the snooze-fests kids are releasing these days. 9/10 for the song and 7/10 for the video averages out to a very passable 8. The single's already at 26 in the UK, and is officially released Dec 21.

Adam Lambert is here 'For Your Entertainment' in new video debut

Once you get past the Britney beat, the over-the-top vocals and the fact that the whole clip comes off like an America's Next Top Model shoot, it's not too bad is it?



The single and album 'For Your Entertainment' are out now on RCA

Kelis puts a donk on it: her new song 'Acapella' is a literally very amazing rave-up - listen now

Kelis is taking a break from her current divorce drama and finally releasing some new music. And it is good. Oh, it is very good, readers. It's a world away from the (still brilliant) R&B minimalist shimmy of 'Milkshake,' but it sounds like she's been doing this kind of mind-blowing dance for her whole life. 'Acapella' is a David Guetta donk-fest in the vein of Kylie's 'Light Years' or even an updated 'I Feel Love' by Donna Summer. It is new and fresh but still very 'now,' and deserves to be absolutely massive.



10/10, about as close to perfection as pop can get. And who'd have known it'd come from Kelis. 'Acapella' is likely going to be the sound of the season at holiday parties, clubs, and anywhere it is poppers o'clock. Just remember you heard it here first - we totally called this one. No word on an official release, but a new album is due in 2010 on Geffen Records via Will.i.am's Music Group. I don't think I'm alone when I say the Spring can't come soon enough.

Sign of the Apocalypse #9: Fredrick Ford trades in porn for pop

It must be difficult to be so good at one thing, and so bad at another... Here is porn star Fredrick Ford (his real name, obviously) in his new video, for the single 'Life of the Party.'



Epic.

Adam Lambert gets gay on ABC primetime with 'For Your Entertainment' - is gay finally ok? Watch now!

Following on from our J.Lo post, another of the acts to perform last night at the AMA's was Adam Lambert. While he was one of the few to sing live, he didn't sound very good at all. Luckily no one was listening because they were too busy being shocked by his simulation of oral sex with a male dancer, gay kiss, and general thrusting and writhing. The interwebs are all up in arms about what this means and how society will either be elevated to a higher plane or crumble completely because of what we witnessed. ScopiSat remembers when Madonna being sexual was a big deal because 'that's not how a lady should act - only men can get away with it.' She helped to rid the world of the antiquated notion that women could not exhibit desire or be overtly sexual. It's the same idea that gay men constrained by now - America is fine with its Will Trumans and Clay Aikens, gays who don't really do much about their desires. They might hold a guy's hand but any overt sexuality is hidden beneath good grooming and moisturizer. So, are we witnessing the "sexualization" of the gay man? And if we are, are we sure Adam Lambert is the guy we want up there doing it??

J.Lo knocks herself out in the ring with 'Louboutins' performance - watch now

So J.Lo - or is it Lola now - performed her new track last night at the American Music Awards. We initially weren't really on board with this one, but 'Louboutins' is actually growing on us. A bit like a fungus. In any case, J.Lo took a bit of a spill around 3:00. She covered it up decently, and now her name and the title of the song she was performing will be on every entertainment magazine show along with a slip clip. Well done, marketing. Well done.






The single is, coincidentally, out Nov 23

Chart Chat UK: November 22, 2009

If anyone is shocked at the new number one this week, they clearly don't know how this whole thing works.  Since its inception, X-Factor has been a chart force to be reckoned with. It's only been since downloads began to be included in the tally, however, that the full impact of the show (and indeed other talent competitions) has been evident.  Most weeks the low end of the chart is riddled with ages-old tracks that were performed by the contestants the prior week, but whenever a truly new X-Factor product hits the market it is destined for greatness.  In the commercial sense at least - critically most of these things are reviled.  In any case, this week's top track is by all 12 X-Factor finalists, inventively called "X-Factor Finalists 2009," who give the karaoke treatment to Michael Jackson's 'You Are Not Alone.'  It's for charity so we'll leave the discussion of its musical merits to you.  That pushes Black Eyed Peas down to 2, with Leona Lewis' latest down to 4, sandwiching the new entry from Jason Derulo.  'Whatcha Say' already topped the charts in the US, and gives him his first hit in the UK.  The rest of the top ten is pretty boring, save for the re-entry of Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance,' up 3 to number 8 on the strength of its new video.  Up next we have Alesha Dixon, who lands another top 20 hit with the Gary Barlow-penned 'To Love Again.'  Fully released this week, it's questionable whether it will push any higher, but for now it at least ups awareness for her repackaging of her debut album.  The single, along with Peter Kay's new entry at 18, will have all proceeds donated to Children in Need.  50 Cent has a new track in at 23, and fresh off her X-Factor appearance, Shakira clocks in at 26. 

The UK Top Ten:
1 - You Are Not Alone: X Factor Finalists 2009
2 - Meet Me Halfway: Black Eyed Peas
3 - Whatcha Say: Jason Derulo
4 - Happy: Leona Lewis
5 - Fight For This Love: Cheryl Cole
6 - Everybody In Love: JLS
7 - Tik Tok: Kesha
8 - Bad Romance: Lady Gaga
9 - I Need You: N-Dubz
10- 3: Britney Spears

Janet Jackson's 'Make Me' video reminds us how good she can be - watch now

This track, taken from Janet's new Greatest Hits (my, there are a lot of those being chucked out these days aren't there) isn't up there with her best, but the video certainly isn't half bad.  At best it is pretty damn good, and at worst it reminds us what Miss Jackson does best.  With a new album out in 2010, things are definitely looking up!