ScopiSat addresses the Vengaboys comeback rumors and finds out it's ACTUALLY HAPPENING - you'll never believe the single's name

ScopiSat reader Ryan asked this morning "what are these low mumblings of a Vengaboys comeback?"  We, being the cynical assholes we are, prepared to write a fun and bitchy article about the band - who we naturally assumed was not coming back - with the expected backhanded compliments and throwbacks to the 90's.  Imagine our surprise, then, when we began contacting our sources (Wikipedia) and found that there ACTUALLY IS A COMEBACK SINGLE BEING READIED FOR RELEASE.

Of course one can never trust one solitary source, so we turned to one of our most trusted industry insiders (random fan forum we found through Google).  It seems the new track will indeed be out this spring and promoted as a SUMMER SMASH© and it is called...wait for it... "Rocket To Uranus." 

Let's all sit and think for just a moment about how LITERALLY AMAZING that is.  God, life can be good to us pop fans sometimes, no?

Anyhoodle, because this was all starting to sound a bit too good to be true, and because we are SERIOUS JOURNALISTS, we were not content with the recklessly thrown about statements of a few industry insiders.  So, we dug deeper.  So deep in fact that we hit the Vengaboys Twitter account, and were honestly more than a little surprised to find a recent update saying "So excited! Shooting the new video this week..."

Granted, there are a number of things that this could be referring to, so in the name of due diligence we parsed out some of the options, ranked from most likely to least likely:

1.  A Vengaboys sex tape (AMAZING)
2.  Some sort of nature documentary like "Vengaboys Live With Vengabadgers" or something (MORE AMAZING)
3.  A home video of one of the Vengachildren learning to walk or speak or eat udon noodles or something (TOTAL SHIT)
4.  An actual music video for an actual new song (AMAZING)

To sum up then, either we're going to see Vengasex in a porn called (rather brilliantly, we might add) "Rocket To Uranus," or we might actually get what we have all wished for lo these 9 years of Vengasilence - A NEW VENGABOYS SINGLE. 

Swirling with excitement but still not content with our research and reasoning skills, we checked the Vengaboys' official website (which is actually a little amazing, by the way), which basically confirmed everything we had found.  Checking the official page probably would have been a much easier and time efficient way to find out what was really going on but whatever, hindsight is 20/20 and all that bullhockey.  The site did have these extra tidbits, however:

- the single will be released in May in the UK, with other territories' release dates pending
- the video will have a cameo by a top 10 pop artist
- the video will also have a cameo by a notorious media personality who BETTER NOT BE PEREZ HILTON OR WE WILL START A FACEBOOK PAGE IN PROTEST

The site says it's too early to reveal the title but says the single is about 'personal freedom and interplanetary travel' (no we're not making that up) so "Rocket To Uranus" is probably a safe bet.  We of course will keep you posted of any and all new developments as soon as we get them, but in the interim we'd like to remind you just what kind of stakes we're talking here: