We were discussing Robyn with one of our friends today, and the conversation went something like this:
Friend: How is Robyn not bigger than Ke$ha?
ScopiSat: Totes - her teeth are jacked but at least she showers.
THE END
Well, if Robyn's brand new track 'Time Machine' doesn't finally put The Unwashed One in her place once and for all, nothing will, because it's pretty effing brilliant.
Robyn first burst onto the global pop scene with Max Martin-penned jams like 'Show Me Love' and 'Do You Know (What It Takes)' all the way back in 1995. And just in case you wanted our opinion on those, it is summed up by a word that starts with A and ends with G and is AMAZING.
Now, 14 (FOURTEEN) years later, Robyn has come full circle and has teamed up with Max Martin again. Martin has found the kind of longevity, hits, and success that most songwriters only dream of, and Robyn's renaissance has been nothing less than spectacular, so you'll forgive us if we expected quite a lot out of their new collaboration. In fact, this pairing seems like a Paula Deen butter-covered recipe for disaster, simply because pop fans' expectations will surely be high, but at times like these all we can really do is sit back, hit play, and pray for the best.
And THAT, ScopiSubjects, is how you do a pop song.
This LITERALLY EPIC tune is out on Robyn's 'Body Talk' LP on Nov 22 and is slated to be a North American single soon.
In this world where "the next big thing" is already old by the time it shows up on the interwebs, it's refreshing to come across a truly underground (seriously, this video is from a basement somewhere in Atlanta) talent poised to burst like a glittery, self-assured firecracker onto the scene. Her name is Kimberly Nichole, and she's kind of (read: actually) amazing.
She's Janelle Monae with more of an edge, and rocks outlandish fashion that, unlike Gaga's, is entirely eccentric while completely wearable. Poised to be one of the big splashes in 2011, she's been written up by MTV, BET, the Washington Post, and even receives a rave review in December's Vogue. And it's probably good that everyone seems to have generally positive things about the young starlet, as we get the distinct feeling that she would have little to no problem "cutting a bitch."
Check out her live cover of 'Crazy,' and tell us you're not just a little bit excited about what the future holds:
If there's one thing that the relative failure of 'Get Outta My Way' in the UK (and oddly, its building success in the United States) has taught us, it's that there is a big difference between slick and soulless Kylie and bubbly personality-driven Kylie. 'Outta' was certainly the former, and was rejected as a bit generic and throw-away by the European public, who expect a little something more from their pop princess. The US, on the other hand, just wants a good dance jam, and could care less about a back story.
It seems K-mo's people have finally caught on as well, because tonight's performance of new single 'Better Than Today' on The X Factor was everything it needed to be to put Miss Minogue back on top in her adopted homeland. High concept (Pac Man - amazing) but also real, it had energy, neon, some ridiculous hats and miles of leg. In short, it was pure Kylie all the way.
The entire performance is lifted from her US mini tour, bubbles over with energy and personality and features a near-miss with falling on her ass. In short, well worth the watch.
'Better Than Today' is out now as an album download, and out Dec 7 as a single.
If we had to guess what a track by our batshit-crazy grandma, recorded after a few too many of her "nervous pills" would sound like, this would be it. Unfortunately, our grandma doesn't have a record deal and this is actually a song sung by 27 year old Amy I'm-not-on-drugs-anymore-except-I-totally-am Winehouse:
'It's My Party' will feature on Quincy Jones' new record 'Q: Soul Bossa Nostra' out November 9, and if we're lucky Quincy will put some of the sales proceeds toward getting Winebox to a recovery facility pretty damn quick.
Let's get this out of the way right off the bat: sometimes even we here at ScopiSat are wrong. Not often, but we are only human after all. Well, mostly human - a good portion of us is made up of glitter and awesome middle-8 breakdowns, but that's a whole different discussion. In any case, a few days ago we gave a not-terrible-but-certainly-not-glowing review of Pink's new single 'Raise A Glass.' And we were wrong. Quite wrong, as it happens, because 'Raise A Glass' is actually a stompingly glorious track that more than deserves our praise.
Now, with that nasty business out of the way, we can get down to the real news of the day - that Pink has made a music video for 'Glass' and it, like the track, is VERY NOT HORRIBLE. It's very 'Pink' in that sort of multiple-personality way that her videos have, jumping around from scene to scene. And what scenes they are - from a sumo-wrestling smackdown to....ladies being milked (seriously, it's as strange as it sounds) - the whole thing is energetic, slick and as one would expect from a refined Lady such as Pink, quite a bit of fun.
We are having a dilemma here at the ScopiSat manse, and it's all because of Ricky Martin. The seeds of this confusion were sown years and years ago, back when J.Lo was Waiting For Tonight, Enrique had a mole, and the Latin Invasion (not the Latino Invasion - that's something different that Tea Partiers are VERY CONCERNED about) was in full swing.
It all began with 'Livin La Vida Loca,' a genuine stormer of a track that introduced the English-speaking world to uber-sexy Ricky with his frosted tips and too-tight Kenneth Cole henleys, and ended five years later as we all did the record-buying equivalent of the Walk Of Shame, realizing in our haze that we collectively bought THIRTY MILLION of his albums. During that period Ricky chucked out a bunch of hits, swivelled his hips a bit, and did 'She Bangs' (which we all laughed because while SHE might want to bang HIM, it was quite obvious he didn't quite return her interest if you know what we're getting at).
As further proof that 9/11 CHANGED EVERYTHING, Ricky's star began to fade after 2002. By the time his next album 'Life' came out in 2005 no one really cared and it was a bit cringy anyway, as Mr. Martin tried to be "urban" in that way that your dad tries to rap so he can be "down with the home slices" when he takes you out for pizza after your baseball game. The lead single 'I Don't Care' came out and everyone kind of said "we don't either" and that was that.
Well, some gaybies and a perfunctory coming out (we love that even post-outing he still sings 'She Bangs' with no hint of irony) later, and Ricky's back and...not as big as before. For his new single he has teamed up with soul superbitch Joss Stone, who has had her own period of mediocrity as of late, and it's certainly not the corker we imagine it would take to put him back on top ( note: we were going to do another 'She Bangs' joke here but even we are getting a bit sick of that bit).
To illustrate why this isn't the HUGE TRACK he needs to regain his superstar status, we've compiled the following list of the track's highs and lows:
A LIST OF THINGS ABOUT THE NEW RICKY MARTIN SINGLE: HIGHS:
The part where it sounds like a crap version of Jason Mraz's 'I'm Yours'
LOWS:
The part where he says 'manana' because he is Latin and 'in touch with his people'
And that is all we came up with because we are literally indifferent to the ENTIRE REMAINDER OF THE RECORD.
THE END
Still, there's something endearing about the song, as it kind of enhances that hot DILF "I'm tender with my children but still have muscles and facial hair and tattoos and really big hands" vibe he's got going on now.
All tame and MOR, it will likely play well (and for months and months to come) on AC radio all over middle America, but we can't help feeling he could do with just a little more swiveling of the hips. In any case, we're very conflicted as to whether we like this track or not for all the foregoing reasons. Take a listen and help us make up our minds...
K-mo jetted off to France a few days ago to begin promotion of her brand new collaboration with Taio Cruz, the rather decent 'Higher.' During Taio's performance on France's 'Starfloor,' the tiny bundle of glitter joined him on stage for their duet, but a wonky mic kept the audience from hearing...well, anything, really. But NEVER FEAR, ScopiSubjects, because THE POP GODS HAVE SMILED ON YE THIS DAY. Not content to steal the stage from Mr. Cruz during his set, Kyles stole the stage - literally - from him altogether. She performed her own mini-concert for the crowd, and thanks to the magic of the interwebs we can all watch it right here right now.
WHAT AN AGE WE LIVE IN.
'Higher' is out in January, Kylie's 'Get Outta My Way' goes to US radio today, and her 'Better Than Today' gets a UK/Worldwide release in December. Because, you know, she wouldn't want to overdo it or anthing...
Katy Perry took a break from terrorizing India with her wedding to film a video for new (and not completely terrible) single 'Firework,' the third taken from her 'Teenage Dream' album. Shot in sunny Budapest, there is some nice camera work and Katy herself looks remarkably good, but the "plot" is super self-congratulatory and QUITE A BIT RIDICULOUS.
A lot of LIFE AFFIRMING boxes get ticked in this baby... hot gay boys making out because KATY SAYS IT'S OK, an overweight girl making peace with herself because KATY SAYS IT'S OK, dancing amongst dangerous explosives in an architectural landmark because KATY SAYS IT'S OK and a girl dying of cancer but everything is fine because KATY SAYS IT'S OK.
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