Listen to Kylie's NEW SINGLE for Japan relief!

Do you like my tight sweater

So what's the new Kylie Japan charity single like then?

Well it's a bit like Black Eyed Peas' 'Where Is The Love' but a bit more crap and also partly in a different language.  But all the proceeds from its sales will go to the relief efforts in Japan, so it's therefore better than 'Where Is The Love,' and - let's be honest here - a Kylie is better than a Fergie any day of the week.

Sure it's not going to become a HUGE SMASH CLASSIC and yeah it sounds a bit like something a couple university students on a music production course knocked together, but the great thing about charity singles is they don't have to be good to be...GOOD.

Roisin Murphy's new 'Boadicea' video with Mason is kind of wicked - watch the premiere now

Your move, Gaga.

A while ago we posted the new jam from electro-hipster goddess Roisin Murphy, and we believe we called it 'AMAZING' or 'QUITE GOOD' or something to that effect.

A few weeks on, and the track has received "THE VIDEO TREATMENT" and we are very glad to say that the clip is also AMAZING AND QUITE GOOD.

Roisin has, of late, kind of rejected the big-label model - which is exactly what one would expect an electro-hipster goddess to do, but unfortunately that means we may have to keep scrounging around the interwebs for the scraps of new material she flings about from time to time. 

But when the scraps are this good, it's TOTALLY WORTH IT, so we're not going to complain too loudly.  'Boadicea' is a terrific song, and we're glad it got a video at all even if Roisin herself doesn't appear in it.  The clip is a kind of Madonna-'What It Feels Like For A Girl'-woman-on-a-violent-rampage type of thing that is both jarring and rad, so we'll forgive Miss Murphy's absence.

This time. 

BRAND NEW BEYONCE - listen to 'Girls' and tell us how crap it is

Miss Knowles hears her single for the first time and collapses in shame

It all started as a clear, fine spring day.  The birds were chirping, the air was crisp.  A feeling of hope and renewal abounded throughout the city.

Children, skipping their way to their schoolyards, smiled and laughed, laden only with the concerns of the young and innocent.

And then this happened.

 It is the new record by an artist who usually turns out TOP NOTCH CORKERS OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER.  It is the MUCH-LAUDED lead track from her upcoming, presumably all-conquering LP.  It is the song that has been teased and previewed to within an inch of its life to drum up interest.  And it is kind of crap.

To be fair, this is apparently only a demo, and the final version has been reworked by Diplo - of Britney etc. fame.  So it may turn out to be amazing in its final form.  But RIGHT NOW IT IS NOT AND THE WORLD DESERVES TO KNOW.



"not particularly good."

George Michael recorded a song for Will and Kate's wedding so don't even TRY to have the best gift - listen now!

Marriage is DELICIOUS

Apparently there are a couple of people getting married soon or something since all we hear about is how rad it's going to be, which to be fair, it probably is, because it all sounds very lush and extravagant and apparently The Queen is going to be there.

Anyway, George Michael, blessed as he is with an UNENDING WELLSPRING OF GENEROSITY, has given the happy couple a gift for their wedding, in the form of a song which is for sale in a variety of digital formats.  With no self-serving hope that it will become the "official wedding anthem" and sell loads of copies.

None at all.

Sophie Ellis Bextor's new album is PRETTY DAMN GOOD - listen to the sampler now

Botox.

After a long run of diminishing returns, many questioned whether Sophie Ellis Bextor would even put out another album.  Rumors abounded that her studio album 'Make A Scene' had been shelved indefinitely which roughly translates to "will never come out and your career is over so you should probably get a job at the WalMart or something" in music-industry-speak.

But lo, the pop gods have smiled upon Miss E-B, and Sophie's new record actually dropped today in Russia.  And the good news doesn't stop there, either - the record will come out June 6 in the UK, just in time to become the soundtrack to a few aging gays' summer. 

The strangest thing is that the album actually is pretty good.  Usually albums are canned because of one of two reasons:  a contract dispute, or the album is shit - so we could all be forgiven for thinking that the LP would turn out to be a giant stinking turd of a record.  BUT IT IS NOT, SCOPISUBJECTS.

IT IS NOT.

Check out the album sampler:

Make A Scene (sampler) by RenzoMV

Listen to a clip of LADY GAGA'S 'JUDAS' before it premieres later today!

are you a good witch or a bad witch

Now that some time has passed, we have decided that 'Born This Way' was pretty crap and all this talk of it being a CLASSIC SONG OF EMPOWERMENT is utter bullshit propogated by the liberal media machine.  The people that love it are the same people who think 'Glee' is a quality show and don't understand why everyone hates Gwyneth Paltrow.

But, as we discussed at length when the track came out, 'Born' was less a reflection on Gaga's "new sound" than it was on her clever choice of a divisive high-impact single.  So it stands to reason that Lady's second single off her sophomore (sort of) album will much better reflect the direction the big G is taking.  Enter 'Judas,' the long-rumored second single that will properly kick off the 'Born This Way' album.

In true 2011 meta fashion, Gaga has chosen to drop hints and snippets of the song all over the damn place, and with news that the track will premiere on UK radio later this afternoon also comes a very long, very crappy clip.

AND IT IS AMAZING.

Even with tons of noise and low-quality-ness going on it is amazing.  If nothing changed from this clip between this preview and its actual release it would still be in the top 15% of all music released this year in terms of quality and fantasticness.  Think 'Bad Romance' for 2011 and if 'Bad Romance' were better.

So, AMAZING.

Lady Gaga - Judas - Snippet 5 Vidéo MrMusic sélectionnée dans Musique

Blue chucks out the video for 'I Can' - watch the Eurovisionary clip debut now!

*I* was born this way

Boyband Blue, otherwise known as "the band that has that gay guy in it who got naked" (see above) took a break a long time ago to allow everyone involved to pursue solo careers.  One of them had a couple hits, another had one sort-of hit, and the rest of them played extras in local theatre productions of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

So it was only a matter of time before they all reunited for their BIG COMEBACK just like every other boyband except N*Sync because Justin Timberlake is better than everything.  And what better way to stage a ROARING RETURN TO RELEVANCE than to cobble together a sub-par tune for the sub-par trashfest that is Eurovision and then make an actually rather alright video for it?  Well, there are lots of better ways, but they didn't go with those.

The song their people picked for some reason is called 'I Can,' and while we could go on and on at length about how they clearly CAN NOT, we just did a very similar joke with Sophie's new single title yesterday so we'll just say that 'Can' is definitely not the groundbreaking comeback tune Blue were probably hoping for.  It'll obviously lose at Eurovision and then be a "highlight" of their disappointing small-venue tour of Wales, but the boys still got to make a rather serviceable video for it and at least they'll always have that.

NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU, BOYS.

Sophie Ellis Bextor is back and that is a VERY GOOD THING - listen to the new song now!

Lather, rinse, repeat

Miss Sophie Ellis Bextor, of 'Murder on the Dancefloor' fame, has been missing from the music scene for a while, and from the upper reaches of the charts for quite a while longer than that.  Sure, for a bit she was bulletproof - she kept racking up top tens with no promotion, effort or even the slightest appearance of either, but then Lady Gaga happened and Ke$ha happened and we all know how that turned out for most of our perrenial pop divas.  (spoiler alert: NOT WELL.)

A good number of Sophie's fans wondered if she'd ever return to the pop career that she openly stated she never wanted (we get it, Sophie - you're really an "indie" girl at heart and pop is just a career and blah blah hipster nonsense) but apparently her kids' college funds are looking a bit anemic because a new SEB album is going to ACTUALLY HAPPEN.  It's called 'Make A Scene,' and it is looking to do just that.

In Russia.  Where it is coming out.  The only place it is coming out.

But whatever, we have some new Sophie tracks to look forward to, and the first, very good, Ellie Goulding-esque one is RIGHT HERE FOR YOU ALL TO LISTEN TO.  It's called 'Starlight' and it's about starlight.  Or something.



"Welcome back."