Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow have some 'Shame' in their Brokeback Mountain-y new video!

So, if Rihanna can scissor with an underwear model in 'Te Amo,' why can't Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams gay it forward with and explore some sexy man-love in their new clip? 

For their much-hyped reconciliation, Gary has penned a song that is REALLY QUITE GOOD - one that is a bit reminiscent of The Beatles' middle era production heyday, with tight harmonies and a shuffling beat.  Let's be honest though.  No one cares about the song when there's a bromance-without-the-'b' clip to go along with it. 

The two bona fide rock stars share some longing glances, tender touches, and about three full minutes of eye-f*cking, in a video that toes that thin line between "gay" and "3am in a leather dungeon gay."  It's all a bit 'Brokeback Mountain' without the horses or the Oscar nominations, but it suits the song and somehow manages to come off as kind of genuine. 



Out Oct 4 in the UK, and will be available on Robbie's 39-track greatest hits package, 'In and Out of Consciousness,' out Oct 11 in the UK and Oct 12 in the US.

Watch Kylie's 'Get Outta My Way' video sneak peek!

She's a tease, that one... just now a 30-second clip of Kylie's 'Get Outta My Way' video showed up online, and it looks every bit as epic as her America's Got Talent performance.

It was directed by the same team behind some of the Ting Tings and Scissor Sisters'  best videos, and is said to feature some 'groundbreaking' effects.  Word is, it's so special that the video will go on sale prior to the single's release. 

Kylie's first U.S. performance of 'Get Outta My Way' is LITERALLY EFFING EPIC - watch now!

So let's go ahead and talk about the big white floating elephant in the room. 

Kylie launched her U.S. promo campaign for the 'Aphrodite' album last night in truly epic fashion.  In full Dynasty 80's regalia, Miss Minogue pretty much owned the America's Got Talent stage, and gave some hope to the dozens of homosexual men in North America who worship the pop princess as their deity that her recent #19 debut on the Billboard 200 wasn't just a fluke.  With a performance on Extreme Makeover Home Edition already in the can, Kylie's hit the summer's two biggest TV ratings powerhouses, and has a number of other U.S. promo appearances in the works. 

If there ever was a time for Kylie to jam her stiletto right into the heart of America, it's now, and it seems like for once she's making all the right moves.  It'll be interesting to see how this all pans out over the next few months - sure she might not give Katy Perry and her bathtub of lice shampoo a run for their money, but at the very least U.S. airwaves will be just a touch more glittery. 

The new Alexandra Burke video is a lubed up torso-fest that is so tragically bad it is actually very good - watch 'Don't Let Me Start Without You' now!

SETTING:  The interior of a grubby Hoxton studio flat.  A number of strapping young rentboys room together here, in their time off from being tied up in Boy George's basement.

                   *Phone rings*

Casting Person:  "Hello, can I speak to (Miguel/J'Syn/Other model-ly male name) please?"

Model:  "Speaking."

Casting Person: "Congratulations, you've got the Alexandra Burke video gig!"

Model:  "Hurrah!  Now I can pay off my crippling chest-wax debt!  Tell me, what can I expect when I arrive?"

Casting Person:  "Some lights left over from an old ad campaign, a bit of glitter foil and a sub-par catering table, I'm afraid."

Model:  "I see.  Well, at least there will be food.  Though I don't eat very much.  I am a model, you see.  What should I wear?"

Casting Person:  "Just jeans will be fine."

Model:  "Okay jeans and t-shirt, got it."

Casting Person:  "No. Just jeans."

Model:  "Ah.  And what sort of rehearsal will there be?"

Casting Person:  "Unfortunately we spent the bulk of our budget on the lights and foil I was telling you about.  So, the choreography will have to be learned over the course of about 20 minutes, primarily from a dated aerobics workout tape."

Model:  "Hmm.  Well, all that aside, it's still Alexandra Burke isn't it, so I'm rather excited even so."


Casting Person:  "Yes, I can understand that, but I feel you should know that she will be dancing alongside you in the clip"

Model:  "Oh. This isn't going to be very good, is it?"

Casting Person:  "No."


SCENE

Kelly Rowland's new U.S. single signals the end of music as we know it - listen to the 'urban U.S.' version of 'Commander' now!

It has finally happened, dear ScopiSubjects.  "The Industry" has caught on that people in the United States have generally no taste when it comes to music, and that for any record to sell within its borders, the music contained within said album must be ACTUAL SHIT.

Don't believe us?  Well, let's break down what is going on with Kelly Rowland's album release together:

1.  Despite dance anthem 'Commander' becoming a worldwide chart-topper, Kelly's people decide to release the distinctly more "urban" 'Rose Colored Glasses' for the album's U.S. kickoff.  This type of targeted marketing happens quite a bit, actually, and to be fair we were fine with it because 'Glasses' is literally brilliant. 

But beware, readers.  This is what we call TRAGIC FORESHADOWING. 




2.  After forcing David Guetta and Kelly to sit in a room and repeatedly collaborate for days at a time with presumably no breaks for food, water or defecation, and then spending tens of dollars on "buzz" and such to make her a credible dance artist, "The Suits" decide to chuck all that hard work out the window.  Why?  So they can spend another $950 (in Strawberry gift cards) on making Kelly BACK INTO A CREDIBLE R&B ARTIST SOMEHOW.

...but only for the U.S.  All those Guetta tracks will still be used as-is in every other territory, while for the good ol' U.S.of A they will be remade with, or replaced by, urban production and a host of guest stars ranging from Ne-Yo to Pitbull. 




3.  Gleefully ignoring the fact that being a "bona fide dance artiste" and being a "authentic R&B songstress" are pretty much mutually exclusive, the honchos in charge inexplicably come to the conclusion that nothing could be savvier than releasing a ridiculous (it features Nelly) version of a single that the rest of the world and the U.S. dance community already embraced, got sick of, and cast aside. 

4.  We all get to listen to this steaming pile of crap while we preorder the GOOD version of the album from Amazon UK:



"Failure."

Sky Ferreira has a fully leaked 'Obsession' - listen to the full track now!

Sky Ferreira's handlers decided that 'One' was just too brilliant for the US, which may very well be true, but it seems like they could have chosen something a little better to launch their new mealticket in North America.  'Obsession' isn't bad, but it's not particularly good or ground breaking either.  It has a Pink-ish, 80's rock edge to it that could have been great, and an electro vibe that also could have been super.  The lyrics are pretty standard Ke$ha cast-off, and the tune isn't really that hummable.  Which all means it will be number 1 on the Hot 100 for 6 months and we will stab ourselves in the eye. So here it is, in its full mediocrity:

Sky Ferreira - Obsession by ileaks

And just in case you want to remind yourself how genius Sky really can be, here is the single the rest of the world gets:




Sky Ferreira - One
Uploaded by EMI_Music. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Ahhhh, that's better.

Ting Tings get 'Hands'-y! Listen to the premiere of the new single now!

Ting Tings rode their last album 'We Started Nothing' into the ground for about a decade it seems.  Not that it wasn't brilliant, we just wish that while they promoted 'We Started Nothing' they....started something.  Well after conquering the world with bona fide jams like 'That's Not My Name' and 'Shut Up And Let Me Go,' the duo are FINALLY BACK with the Calvin Harris - produced 'Hands.'  It's a bit of a new direction for the band, but at the same time makes perfect sense.  They've performed it live a few times, complete with some brilliant stage sign antics, but the radio and online premiere has just hit the interwebs.  It might take a few listens, but trust us... you'll come around.

TTH by kevv2
 

Eva Simons decides to 'Take Over Control' - listen to the premiere now!

Eva Simons never really took off last year, and is still most remembered (when she is at all) for her track 'Silly Boy,' because for about 5 minutes everyone thought it was the new Rihanna single.  Essentially a Gaga-clone, she was very "of the moment" but never really clicked.  Fast forward a year, and Simons is getting a second chance with 'Take Over Control.'  It's officially an Afrojack (up and coming DJ Nick van de Wall) track, with the tablemaster carrying top billing.  But, as is the way of these things, it is Eva who does the vocal heavy lifting, and it could just as easily be her own solo single.  It manages to give the singer a much more identifiable sound than 'Boy,' and underscores the idea that there may be some life in this Dutch glamazon yet.  It's a hands-out, pants-down, poppers-o-clock rave-up even in this low-quality rip, and you can bet your booty shorts and American Apparel tank that the remixes are going to be EPIC.



No word on an official release, but promos and white labels are popping up all over.