The boys from The Wanted do a porn - watch the video for 'Lightning' now!

And this is only two of them.

Ok so it's not really a porn.  But it's close.

It seems like ever since the young one (Nathan, we think, or Chris, or James or something...) turned 18, The Wanted have gotten racier and racier.  Not that we're complaining mind you - it's just an observation.

We basically "would" with them all, even though we'd only do it with some of them because they're in a famous band, but to be fair it is A VERY GOOD BAND who does VERY GOOD SONGS like 'Lightning.'  Actually, though, now that we think of it, maybe we ARE complaining about their OVERT SEXINESS.  We almost wish that they weren't quite so damn hot, since that is bound to get in the way of anyone enjoying their tracks for what they are - rather brilliant slices of of-the-moment pop.

Take 'Lightning' for example: while we're all staring at their chiseled-but-not-too-chiseled triceps, a great beat is happening, and while everyone is enamored with the post-production-"sexy" flesh tone they've all been given, a catchy melody is thumping around.  So in the interest of journalistic integrity we must ask:  ARE THE WANTED TOO SEXY FOR THEIR OWN GOOD?

And of course the answer is no.

Take it off, boys.

Luciana ropes in THE ACTUAL BETTY WHITE for 'I'm Still Hot' - listen now!

We would totally see this "buddy cop" movie

We could spend hours and hours wringing our hands in confusion as to how this collaboration came about exactly, or we could spend those hours enjoying the very good song that resulted. 

It's a song by Luciana and it features Betty White.  So, it is AMAZING. 

The track is called 'I'm Still Hot,' and is a by-the-numbers club track but done exceptionally well - which is kind of Luciana's "thing".  She doesn't really bring anything particularly new to the table ("ooh look a woman talking over some beats" etc.) but her mode of delivery is pretty great.  She's also featured on some rather awesome tracks (Taio Cruz's 'Come On Girl' being just one) but now has gotten QUITE THE STAR to feature on one of her own.

The original version of 'Hot' has already hit the top 3 of the dance charts, and we have a feeling this remix will push it to the summit.  Because who doesn't love Betty White?  She's sweet, she's crass, she's funny, and most importantly, she's still hot.

If this version of 'Hot' charts, this will be Ms. White's first appearance on Billboard in the US, or on the official UK countdown.  And we can't wait to see her name on both of them.

Rihanna/Calvin Harris' 'We Found Love' premiere! Listen now!

Just another day at the office.

So the new Rihanna is here and it is both very good and very disappointing. 

It is very good because, objectively, it is VERY GOOD.  It has a great catchy hook and a punchy beat and bassline that just begs to be shoulder-dipped to. 

It is disappointing because, listened to in context, it is a song we have heard many times before, from an artist who has made a career of being different and somewhat special. 

Of course it will be #1 for two months and, at the very least, make everyone stop talking about Lady Gaga for a precious few moments, but to be honest, Rihanna, WE EXPECTED A BIT MORE FROM YOU.

You can listen to the premiere HERE thanks to some French piracy.

"Needs work; see us after class" etc

Jennifer Lopez's 'Papi' is KIND OF AMAZING - watch the premiere now!

seashells remind people of vaginas

Jennifer Lopez's third single from her album 'Love(unnecessary punctuation)' is called 'Papi' and it is not terrible, although it is a little creepy.  The video for the song is not terrible either - in that it's better than her last one - but there's something a little .....off about it too.  In fact, it's almost like two videos in one.  One, which is weird and strangely directed, and the other which is brilliant and FIERCE (finger snap bitch stomp). 

The concept is fantastic:  J.Lo eats a cookie which will "bring back love" and through its magic (?) becomes irresistible to all men (ok so by "fantastic" we mean utterly ridiculous but still amazing) and then they fight over her and then break into a budget-busting riot on a city street because why not?

Sounds epic, right?  IT IS.

But the first half of the video is just kind of strange. Not like, BAD strange -far from it, in fact, but there's just something odd about how everything goes down.  The ideas are all fine, but maybe something in the execution just went a little wrong.  Whatever happened, though, it ultimately doesn't matter because the last half of the video saves the whole thing.  Once J.Ho realizes her new-found powers, she COMMANDS THEM WITH DANCE MOVES (amazing) and does a whole dance break thing in booty shorts (AMAZING), and by the hot guy appears with NO EXPLANATION and wisks her away, everyone's completely forgotten all about the first half of the video anyway so in the end SHE WINS.

And you know what, people?  We win too.



"AMAZING."

Agnes warns 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' in new single - listen to the premiere now!

"Before DulcoLax, every day was a struggle"

Agnes is a pop star who comes from Sweden.  Since she comes from Sweden, it would be safe to assume that she is amazing even without any direct evidence to support that assumption, but luckily for our well-respected editorial integrity (citation needed) Agnes has put out some songs in the past (like her hit single 'Release Me') that indisputably proves it.

She started her career on Swedish Idol, and has since become their answer to Kelly Clarkson but gayer and without the boring "artistic" album, and has steadily been building a healthy following outside her home country.  In fact, the aforementioned 'Release Me' went all the way to the UK top 5 - though to be fair that may have just been because everyone thought it was a Leona Lewis song. 

Different people.

Now, international success in tow, Agnes is ready to launch her fourth album, and is gearing up for it with the RATHER GOOD lead single 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart.'  It is, thank god, not a cover of the Elton John/Kiki Dee hit (not that their tune isn't amazing, we're just guessing some Swedish broad doing a eurotrash cover of it probably wouldn't be met with too much success.  Except in Romania.  They'll buy anything in Romania.) but is instead a FULLY NEW, FULLY FANTASTIC jam.

A big-budget video is coming shortly, and if this is all played right (and if the girl from Cascada doesn't have her killed for stealing her thunder) Agnes might just get the sustained international success her royalty accountants so desperately crave.

The Nicola Roberts train rolls on even though it has no passengers - see the 'Sticks And Stones' lyric video premiere now!

"I can't see anything you guys...is my album doing well??"

It is a fact that some of the best, most deserving acts in pop history have been largely overlooked, just as it is also a fact that some of the least deserving acts have gained the most success.

Pictured:  the latter.

Unfortunately, it seems that trend shows no signs of stopping, as Nicola Roberts - the BRILLIANT Nicola Roberts - gears up to launch her debut solo album 'Cinderella's Eyes' next week.  Lead single 'Beat Of My Drum,' despite being refreshing and different and not at all like anything else on the radio, bombed outside the top 20 because it was refreshing and different and not at all like anything else on the radio.  Follow up, and current single, 'Lucky Day,' has made even less impact, though it's not actually released til tomorrow so it could still surprise everyone and be a top 5 smash or something.  (it won't.) 

On the surface it seems like everything was done right, too.  A genius marketing plan, pitting Nic against the other Girls Aloud solo success, Cheryl Cole, was particularly inspired, with 'Team Ginge' shirts showing up everywhere from high street shops to Paul O'Grady's back.  The artwork and imagery was kind of spectacular as well, and with a newsworthy rivalry and a high-fashion-hooker look in tow, Miss Roberts was ready to be launched into the pop stratosphere.  And then ....nothing happened. 

Womp womp.

In any case, Nicola's people are still trucking along with the promo, as now we see the debut of a lyric video for album track 'Sticks and Stones.'  It's all sad and weepy and woe-is-me-except-not-really-because-I-am-a-popstar-and-you-are-not, and is VERY GOOD INDEED in a "very good album track but not at all a single" kind of way. 

So take a listen, buy 'Lucky Day' tomorrow, and get the album when it comes out next week.  Because the gingers are counting on your support.  And if you don't do as they say, they'll come after you. 

Yes.  Yes they will.

Here is a video of Joe Jonas having sex - watch the 'Just In Love' teaser and hear the new single now!

What's a purity ring?

Let's be honest.  The only reason we're writing this article is because Joe Jonas is a bona fide sex god whom we are A LITTLE BIT OBSESSED WITH.

Of course it doesn't hurt that his new song is not awful, but really that's just a footnote to the fact that he is "kind of attractive" in the same way that the British Royals are "kind of wealthy" and Xtina is "kind of fat." 

But the main thing to focus on is that the video totally features him doing sex to someone.  In fact, JJ released a nipple-baring preview clip of the vid a few days ago but since then we've been a bit shaky and distracted by it so we completely missed that like, 10 other previews have shown up online. 

Long story short, though, Joe Jonas is hot and his new song doesn't suck.

Here's him with his top off:


And here's a live version of the song (because apparently UMG wants NO ONE TO HEAR the studio recording because heaven forbid it becomes a hit):


"DECENT."

Wynter Gordon GOES FOR THE GAYS (again) in "Buy My Love" video - watch now!

Oh hayyyy

Wynter Gordon is a dance/pop woman who has been knocking around doing some kind of fabulous things for a few years now.  She topped the US charts on Flo Rida's 'Sugar' in 2009, and then kind of disappeared from mainstream view.  But Wynter didn't go anywhere - she had a couple hits on the dance charts and an inexplicably huge hit in Australia for no reason, and in the process built up quite a buzz as the NEW FIERCE DANCE DIVA (finger snap, wurq, etc.) on the block.

And with all that buzz behind her (and a pretty damn hot behind behind her too) she's ready to claim her tiara and sash as the hot new thing.  Her new single - meant to properly launch her US EP "With The Music I Die" - is called "Buy My Love" and it is KIND OF TREMENDOUS.

It's 80's but in a fun way, it's dancy in a pop way, and it's also got a video that is as hip as it is retro IN A LITERALLY AMAZING WAY. It finds Wynter and her friend, played by Robin Williams' daughter (because why not?) shopping in a clothing store and singing about how much they love money and then dancing sexually about how much they love money and then buying things with money but being kind of slutty about it.

It's essentially Madonna's 'Material Girl' but with more minorities.  And it is AMAZING.