Lady Gaga's album leaked yesterday and this is what it sounds like

I AM INSULATED AGAINST YOUR CRITICISMS

We (along with most everyone else who cares) heard Gaga's new album yesterday at the exact second it leaked, thanks to the wonders of the thing they call the internets.

To say expectations were high is a DRAMATIC UNDERSTATEMENT.  So how does it stack up to the lofty projections?  Let's take a look, shall we:

1.  There are 2 great songs, a couple good songs, some mediocre songs, and a bad song or two.
2.  Every song has a tempo change for NO REASON
3.  Every song has a speaking bit for NO REASON
4.  Every song is far less good than 'Bad Romance' but some are far better than 'Alejandro.'
5.  It's a bit preachy and up itself which should come as a surprise to absolutely no one.
6.  It is not the ALL-CONQUERING, GENRE DEFINING MASTERPIECE that Gaga thinks it is.
7.  It is not terrible but it is also not brilliant and is actually just an above-average pop album from an above-average pop star.  And from anyone else that would be good enough.

So there you have it.  There are some good bits and some bad bits and more than a couple cringey bits.  But it's still better than Nickelback.  So...at least there's that.

3 OUT OF 5 SCOPITONES