This "Chris Brown doing music with Rihanna" thing needs to be stopped immediately - listen to his track feat. Rihanna, and hers feat. him

pow.

We haven't made it any secret that we are at the point of being completely over the inbreeding vocal orgy of "so-and-so featuring so-and-so" that has taken over music.  In only the rarest of circumstances does it have anything to do with making a track better, and is nearly always exclusively about selling more records.

Add to our hatred of opportunistic "featuring" credits our loathing of Chris Brown, and we have a PERFECT STORM OF US BEING FUSSY ABOUT SOMETHING.

And the thing is in this case it's not even just one track.  No.  It's two.  THAT IS DOUBLE THE AMOUNT OF ONE.  Because while we all knew last week that Chris "Domestic Abuser" Brown was to feature on Rihanna's 'Birthday Cake,' what we didn't count on is that she would decide to return the favor and guest on Chris's 'Turn Up The Music.'

We're still seething at Brown's super classy opening line on 'Birthday Cake' - "Girl, I wanna fuck you right now / Been a long time, I've been missing your body" - so admittedly we're not listening to his new track with a particularly open mind.  But even if that weren't the case we're pretty sure we'd still call it mediocre at best.


Here's 'Turn Up The Music':
   

And in case you missed it, Rihanna's 'Birthday Cake':

Rihanna says 'You Da One' in her new video

This is a thing that happened.

Rihanna just wrapped up her GIANT ALL-CONQUERING TOUR in London, but apparently she was quite busy even while that was going on, shooting videos and collapsing from exhaustion and the like.  Luckily the 'You Da One' video, which just premiered, doesn't find her actually doing that much, so hopefully it didn't contribute to her fatigue too much.

Unfortunately the fact it doesn't find her doing much means it's a pretty boring watch, unless you're a fan of dodgy wigs (which we understand many of our readers are).  To be honest we've never been a huge fan of Rihanna's midtempo "jAmZ," as we're not sure she has the voice for such things and they always trend to the boring side of "good," but as generic pop songs go we're not going to complain about 'You' and instead will just say it's highly unlikely to unseat her current #1 track 'We Found Love' from the peak of the charts. 

Speaking of 'We Found Love,' congrats, RiRi, on your longest running chart-topper ever.  Maybe you can celebrate by donning a tacky blond weave and running around in black-and-white for a few minutes.

OH WAIT.

Rihanna's new track with Drake is pretty great - listen to 'Take Care' now!

He's kind of like Carrie, but his pyrotechnic rage is brought on by ASS

To be completely fair, before today we couldn't have really cared less about Drake.  Like, there was no possible way that we could have had less of an opinion about him either in terms of his musical output or as an actual person.  He had some tracks and was kind of famous, apparently, but most notably (for us, anyway) he featured on Rihanna's 'What's My Name.'  Well now we have to rethink everything, because the Barbadian minx has returned the favor, guesting on Drake's new track called 'Take Care.'  And IT IS KIND OF REALLY GOOD.  

These days it seems every track is vying to be more autotuned and more slick and more "thumpin beats, brah" than the last, and that is doubly true in the world of "urban pop" which is a genre that doesn't really exist officially but is essentially everything that you hear on the radio that isn't Adele.  HOWEVER, Drake has decided - rather wisely - to take things in a completely different direction, and chuck out an organic sounding, almost disco-y, understated affair.

But never fear, those of you who demand a donk and discowhistle (i.e. everyone who reads this website), word has it that some RATHER BANGING club mixes are in the works, and even on first listen it's not hard to imagine how this groovy little number can go from "sultry evening wrapped up in 300-count JC Penney sheets" to "POPPERS O'CLOCK ON TOP OF A BOX SPEAKER IN A DOWNTOWN WAREHOUSE" in pretty short order. 

So, welcome to our radar, Drake.  Also, if you could make a baby with Rihanna that'd be great for us.  Because HOW CUTE?!




"Delightful."

Rihanna/Calvin Harris' 'We Found Love' premiere! Listen now!

Just another day at the office.

So the new Rihanna is here and it is both very good and very disappointing. 

It is very good because, objectively, it is VERY GOOD.  It has a great catchy hook and a punchy beat and bassline that just begs to be shoulder-dipped to. 

It is disappointing because, listened to in context, it is a song we have heard many times before, from an artist who has made a career of being different and somewhat special. 

Of course it will be #1 for two months and, at the very least, make everyone stop talking about Lady Gaga for a precious few moments, but to be honest, Rihanna, WE EXPECTED A BIT MORE FROM YOU.

You can listen to the premiere HERE thanks to some French piracy.

"Needs work; see us after class" etc

BRITNEY and RIHANNA sing TOGETHER on DUET - listen now

...and then the autotune machine exploded

The entire world (read: the world of teenage girls and some gays) has come crashing down today at the news that Rihanna and Britney have recorded a track together.  It's clearly a RED LETTER MOMENT IN POP HISTORY on par with the Beyonce/Gaga collab... unless it isn't.  Which it's not.

You see, the whole thing started when the Def Jam Recordings intern who tweets as Rihanna asked who RiRi's fans most wanted her to sing with.  The answer was Britney - which is good because it is the correct answer, and also because Britney + Rihanna = awesomesauce.

Apparently Britney took the news super well, cause she phoned in some vocals to Rihanna's answering machine and some producer chucked them onto a karaoke track of 'S&M' for us all to enjoy.


So yeah, not the WORLD CHANGING POWERBALLAD SLASH POPPERS-O-CLOCK-CORKER we would have liked, but whatever we'll take what we can get. 



"neat."

Rihanna's 'S&M' video is here and it's....okay - watch the premiere now

What's teal and ugly and red on top, and got a stylist fired?

Rihanna has done a lot.  She released some good songs ('Pon De Replay'), then some BRILLIANT SONGS ('SOS'), a few shit songs ('Russian Roulette') and then seemed to settle into a nice groove of having above-average but slightly forgettable singles come out at a rate of approximately one every two-and-a-half weeks.

Though her song output has found a rut pleasant routine, her videos have continually been getting better and better.  At some point RiRi or her people decided that she was a big enough star that she could stop caring about looking foolish and just GO FOR THE GOLD which in the music business equates to ACT BATSHIT CRAZY ON CAMERA, and, to her credit, it's resulted in some pretty amazing clips.

...until now.  The video for 'S&M' has just come out and it's sort of what you'd expect from a Rihanna video, except if Rihanna was a Russian girlband and it was 2003.

To be fair it's not terrible - and it's actually kind of entertaining, but it reeks of "let's chuck every idea we have at the wall and see what sticks."  We imagine it is the product of a number of committee meetings, each of which went something like:

Record Exec 1: "The song is called S&M so maybe we should put some S&M things in it"
Record Exec 2: "Yes but she already did the whole 'Rated R' "dark" thing and we all know how that turned out..."
Record Exec 1: "Ok then let's make the S&M things NEON and therefore DIFFERENT"
Record Exec 2: "And we should make her be behind plastic wrap for some reason.  You know, because it's edgy."
Record Exec 1: "How are we so good at this?  You'd think the Klonopin would hinder our creative abilities somehow."
Record Exec 2: "We are geniuses, let's take our private planes to Hawaii for the evening."

THE END

Rihanna - S&M - The best home videos are here

Rihanna is the 'Only Girl' in her new video - watch the premiere now!

We've already talked about how happy we are that Rihanna ditched the dark-and-brooding look-at-me-being-a-serious-artist thing she did on 'Rated R' and decided to embrace pure pop again, and while all of that still applies, we have to say we're actually more impressed with the video for 'Only Girl' than the song itself. 

While 'Only Girl' already sounds a bit played out just a couple weeks after it hit the radio waves, the video is fresh and colorful and nice looking in a way that truly befits a BONA FIDE SUPERSTAR.  Sure, it looks like it was shot with an iPhone 'Hipstamatic' picture app, and okay, it's really nothing we haven't seen before at all, but there's a certain gloss and finish to it that shows that even if a million people have done it before, you can still make it look totally unique if you do it VERY WELL.

Also, whoever dwas in charge of putting a bunch of pastel-colored props in the middle of the desert really deserves to get more work.  Good job, champagne all around, etc etc



'Only Girl' is out next week in the UK, and out now most everywhere else

Rihanna is ACTUALLY BACK with a BLAZING new single - listen to 'Only Girl' now in full!

Rihanna's brooding and challenging 'Rated R' experiment worked out about as well as Kylie's 'X' did (ie NOT VERY WELL AT ALL), proving that regardless of how big a star you are, naming your album based on a letter is just a stupid idea.  Sure it sold decently, but it moved nowhere near the numbers expected.  Worse, it tarnished the Rihanna brand a bit, as she had always been known for her 'jamz' and such.

Well all that mess is behind her, Proper Rihanna is back with a brand new single called 'Only Girl.'  It is dancy, anthemic and has "smash" written all over it with Dr. Pepper Bonne Bell lip gloss, and we couldn't be more pleased.  It's just the thing RiRi needed to give her career a kick and remind the casual listener just why she's such a huge superstar in the first place.

'Rated R' wasn't an outright disaster, of course, and it will add a certain credibility to her career from here on out (which is likely exactly why it was released), but much like Kelly Clarkson, whose 'My December' was also all dark and angsty and met with tepid sales, Rihanna's post-downer-period is shaping up to be her best.  It just goes to show, a pop star is never better than when they're on the comeback trail.




Welcome back, RiRi.

Rihanna gets all saucy in 'Te Amo' music video - watch the premiere now!

We made no big secret of our loathing for Rihanna's new North American single 'Rockstar 101,' but luckily the rest of the world gets 'Te Amo,' the much more palatable jam from the sexy singer.  Sexy, here, is the operable word, as RiRi gets all kinds of lesbo-racy up in her new clip.

Some vital points:
1.  The video is CONTROVERSIAL because there is extended girl-to-girl eye contact and a smattering of lingering hugs
2.  Ri looks great
3.  The 'other girl' looks great
4.  It was shot in France
5.  The song is still kind of crap :(


Out June 11 in Europe/elsewhere

Rihanna's inexplicable 'Rockstar 101' single gets a video - watch the premiere now!

Rihanna's weird trip down the road of 'artistic reinvention' continues, as 'Rockstar 101' becomes her fourth single from Rated R in the States, while international fans get 'Te Amo.'  Are we the only ones who are completely baffled that this track even made it on the album?  Ah well, at least the video is pretty... sort of :(



Hits radio on June 1

Rihanna is a 'Rockstar' on Idol - watch the performance now!

Things are all kind of crazy over in camp Rihanna - the album isn't doing great so there seems to be a general feeling of 'what the holy hell do we do now?' amongst the marketing drones.  Just last week 'Te Amo' was announced as the next single, but  then RiRi goes and performs 'Rockstar 101' on Idol.  It was a fine performance but it's one of our least favorite tracks on the album, and we don't know about you but we're getting a bit sick of DARK BROODING Rihanna.  You're from an island where the sun shines ALL THE TIME.  Smile a bit. 

Rihanna shows us her 'Rude Boy' - watch the video now!

Here's Rihanna with another not-as-good-as-her-last-twenty-songs song.  The video, on the other hand, we are totally loving.  We're trying to find a song to play while we have the video playing on mute.  We're thinking something by Girls Aloud. 

This video is EPIC and anyone who is not an enemy of pop must watch it immediately (video)

Ok so the fad of re-doing Rihanna's 'Umbrella' in a variety of different genres has certainly peaked and plummeted into the bowels of Youtube mediocrity,  but when we stumbled across this there was something absolutely enrapturing about it.  The 'it' in question is a video by a group of three young men called The Baseballs, and despite the impression the video gives, they did not live in the early 1960's.  No, they are, in fact, alive today, and still making music.  Other people's music, yes, but music just the same.  In any case, it's amazing and demands to be watched. 



Amazing.

New artwork for Rihanna's 'Rude Boy' single and Goldfrapp's 'Headfirst' album

Rihanna is in about the same place now as Goldfrapp was on their last album. Both did something unexpected and met with tepid sales. After the successes of their previous packages, however, it was unrealistic to expect that level of success to continue straight through. Sometimes it's a good idea for an artist or band to take a step back, have a lower profile, and then they can stage an epic comeback as the underdog. It's what Kelly Clarkson just did with the whole 'My December' thing. While Rihanna is in the midst of her rebuilding album, about to release a third single 'Rude Boy,' Goldfrapp are ready to emerge bigger and better with their next project 'Headfirst.'
The artwork for each just premiered, and they're both interesting in their own way.

Yes.  Very interesting.

No let's hope after this single Rihanna gets back in the studio for her big triumphant comeback.  Because we're still waiting for 'SOS' Mk II.

Rihanna is 'Hard' - watch the video now

Rihanna is getting all Hard for you.



That is all.

Who wants to watch the new Rihanna video? Yeah, go on then...

The more this all goes on we have been getting the distinct feeling that 'Rated R' is going to be a bit Kelly Clarkson 'My December'.  Big artistic leap blah blah no sales blah blah giant pop comeback hurrah.  In the meantime here's a preview of Rihanna's upcoming video for next single 'Hard.'



There's that then.  Now excuse us while we put on some 'SOS' remixes and relive the old days. 

Who wants to hear the new Rihanna 'Rated R' album sampler? (video)

We thought so.



Out the week of Nov 20 on Def Jam/Universal/Mercury

Rihanna debuts new video for 'Wait Your Turn' - watch the full video now!

Rihanna's new album launch is in full swing now, with the release of the 'Wait Your Turn' video, which is all black and white moodiness and dramatic posing. It's something of a throwback to the glory days of music video. The song itself is a 'return to roots' for Rihanna, with distinctly island-flavored verses building up to a sing-along chorus. Not bad, we suppose. Not bad.

New Rihanna? Go on then. (full song - 'Bubble Pop')

This 'Rated R' thing is shaping up to be pretty phenomenal isn't it?  Even though ScopiSat is a bit underwhelmed with the lead off single there is something to say for doing a 'soft landing' for such a highly anticipated project.  The public doesn't want to be hit over the head with an act as huge as Rihanna, and if something like 'Bubble Pop' was the first single there could very well be some heads shaking.  It's definitely a different direction but we are definitely loving it.  It's not confirmed as being on Rated R, but our guess it will show up at least as a b-side eventually.  Here's the Will.i.am collaboration for your listening pleasure:

Listen to the new Rihanna single NOW NOW NOW

Unfortunately they don't let people like us have advance copies of 'highly anticipated' tracks such as this, so you'll have to go here to listen.  Lets discuss:

It is amazing but we were hoping for something a bit more 'SOS.' 

The end.