Nicola Roberts is the new pop diva to watch out for - listen to the premiere of debut solo single 'Beat Of My Drum' now!

And THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is how you make an epic single cover

Nicola Roberts was always the sort of forgotten one in Girls Aloud - well, along with all the other ones who weren't Cheryl Cole.  But then she got kind of fashionable and then she got kind of fierce and with the debut just now of her first solo track, she also has VERY PROMISING MUSICAL OUTPUT.

Produced by some people that did things for Goldfrapp and a guy that made Britney sound like she gave a shit, 'Beat Of My Drum' does a great job of introducing Nicola as one of the very few artists who are not afraid to chuck out something that sounds completely different to everything else that is on the radio.

It's urgent, it's frantic, it's a barely-contained hurricane of beats and samples, but every time it verges on getting a little too messy it pulls it back and dives head-first into a brilliantly catchy chorus.  It does just what a great debut pop single should do - it pushes the boundaries but doesn't go over them, guides the conversation instead of just being part of it, and it makes a GIANT FLASHING NEON STATEMENT to the throngs of pop plebs chomping at the bit.

And that statement is: "Nicola is about to be huge."



"Wicked."

Jesus, the new Beyonce is really good - listen to the premiere now!

Bitch please, y'all thought I wasn't gonna come back bigger and better?

Ok we were more than a little bit worried there for a bit - 'Run The World (Girls)' was at best a mess, and at worst a human tragedy on par with one of those stories from India that are like 'MOTORCYCLE CRASH KILLS 12,000' or something.  

But, with 'Run' languishing in the depths of the charts even after a number of high-profile promo attempts, B's people have smartened up and begun preparing the next wave of Beyonce's '4' album campaign.

AND IT IS VERY VERY GOOD.

It's a thing called 'Best I Never Had' and it is a ballad on an epic scale as really only Beyonce can do these days.  For anyone who has ever loved someone they never could have, it will likely be QUITE MOVING INDEED.  And for anyone who has not, well, go to hell you soulless monsters.



AMAZING.

Joe Jonas is gonna try to knock Justin Timberlake's pop prince tiara off with 'See No More'

"I AM QUITE SEXY"

Once upon a time, in a land far away - unless you live in Los Angeles, in which case much of this actually happened quite nearby - there was a young boy named Joe.  

Joe was adorable and precocious, and had two brothers, each nearly as adorable and precocious as he.  Except for one of them who was kind of fugly.

They lived a happy life in New Jersey, to the extent that living a happy life in New Jersey is possible, but always dreamed of something more.  Joe, in particular, could often be found sitting atop a garbage heap, gazing at the petrochemical factory fumes and daydreaming of a world where he could roam free and be independent and date hot chicks so people wouldn't think he was gay cause he TOTALLY WASN'T GAY.

One day the boys went into the local market to buy some magic beans or something, and there they found a music store.  At the shop owner's prodding, the three boys picked up some instruments, and after finding that they were actually quite good, decided to start a "music band."  They laughed and played and strummed on their instruments in blissful ignorance of the world around them, until a humble talent scout from the distant shire of Hollywood Recordsville heard news of this talented threesome and set off to acquire them for his master's court of internationally popular jesters.

Through child labor laws and nosy parents with their kids' "best interest" at heart, the humble talent scout trekked in his pursuit of Joe and his kin.  And when finally he reached his goal, the boys were better than he had ever dreamed.  "Talented!" he exclaimed, "and adorable!" he chimed, and with a greedy glint in his eye he locked Joe and the boys up in a rather fabulous birdcage from Anthropologie, and stole away into the night.

For years the boys were held captive, forced to play their instruments and dance in a chastely sexual way for the scout's master.  Until one day Joe stood up to the master (Joe was always the brave one) and shouted "NO MORE!  I AM STRIKING OUT ON MY OWN, FOR I DO NOT NEED YOU!"

The master flew into a rage at this outburst, and screamed "you'll never make it on your own!  Boys like you never make it on your own!" and stared a demonic stare that would instill terror in all but the mightiest warriors.  But Joe could not be cowered.  He tightened his fists, and closed his eyes, and in a calm, steady voice replied "but master, what of Michael Jackson?  And of Justin Timberlake?  And of the fat one from Take That who made handbags for a while or whatever?"

At this, the master chortled into his man-cleavage, confident that he had the upper hand.  "Joe, my boy, those jesters all had killer debut solo singles.  You're just out of your league.  Stay here, in my terrifyingly Disney-esque castle and play crap music for teenagers with your brothers."

And then Joe, unmoved by the master's intimidation, took a deep breath, whipped this out and said "suck it, master.  I'm a fucking pop star now."

It's a Kylie kind of weekend - listen to the full version of the brand new track 'Silence' now!

'I think I got some Ke$ha in my teeth'

Well we're just getting spoiled now - not only have some spectacular mixes of new single 'Put Your Hands Up' leaked, but now we can hear the complete version of the B-side.  It's a new track called 'Silence' and it is RATHER BRILLIANT.

It's considerably darker sounding than K-Mo's 'Aphrodite' LP, which may be why it was rejected from the final track listing.  While it's still a FULL ON DANCE FLOOR CORKER, it's a good deal less sparkly and glittery.  It replaces the sunshine and unicorns of the album with a menacing and more organic vibe, and features the slightly genius pop lyric 'I understand you in the silence so there is no need to say a word; It feels so right you can't deny it, the best is what you haven't heard.' 

VERY GOOD INDEED.

FREE DOWNLOAD - Get a ragingly awesome mix of Kylie's new single 'Put Your Hands Up' now!

fact.

Despite telling everyone that there would be no more singles released from the Aphrodite album, our K-Mo has only gone ahead and commissioned a load of mixes for 'Put Your Hands Up' and is preparing to service them to radio and download outlets.  Which, according to the generally accepted industry standard, will make it an ACTUAL SINGLE and therefore also make Kylie a LYING JEZEBEL who can never be trusted.

But when we get output as golden as this, what's a little lack of trust between friends?

The Basto's Major Mayhem Edit received its first premiere on the UK's Gaydar Radio a short time ago, and a DJ by the name of DJScorpio has made a quite decent re-edit of it (taking out the British person speaking over the beginning, for instance).

The Mayhem Edit itself is a brilliant rework of the tune, and would probably do some significant chart damage as the worldwide official single mix.  Which, considering the debacle that has been Kylie's European promotion lately, means this version will be stuck on some random EP or only released to radio stations in South Africa or something.  So maybe it won't (but hopefully it does) get the exposure it deserves, but luckily for all you ScopiSubjects you can download it now for ABSOLUTELY FREE.

Happy Summer, everyone.

  Put Your Hands Up (Djscorpio's Basto's Major Mayhem Edit Re-edit) by djscorpio-lmn

Lady Gaga sings 'The Edge of Glory' on American Idol while standing on an actual edge

To vote for Lady Gaga, dial MONSTER

Last night millions of Americans threw away their standard text messaging fees on choosing the "best of a bad bunch" winner of American Idol who will be embarrassing themselves in a traveling production of 'Joseph' by the time you read this. But all anyone really cared about was Lady Gaga singing her new is-it-or-isn't-it-a-single 'Edge of Glory.' (Sorry Beyonce, but you knew going in that you were gonna be upstaged - Girls don't run the world, Gaga does.)

The Ladylicious One treated the throngs of lowbrow-television fans to her usual spectacular, and following the pattern started by her literal live interpretation of 'Born This Way' (look, I'm coming out of an egg like I'm being born!), Gaga belted out her new jam while STANDING ON AN ACTUAL EDGE.

With her new album projected to sell 900,000 copies this week she really has no reason to be on the edge of anything, but in true Gaga fashion she still treated us to one of the COOLEST MOMENTS IN POP HISTORY at the 4:00 mark.

Remember kids - Gaga says suicide is awesome as long as you look hot, are wearing a hat, and millions of people see when you do it.

Boyband ahoy! The Wanted's new single is QUITE GOOD INDEED - listen to the premiere now!

not gay.

The Wanted are a bit of a strange thing.  They burst to superstardom after making it through what Wikipedia calls a "mass audition" (and which most everyone else probably calls a "casting couch situation") and quickly established themselves as an inexplicably credible musical force.

Their debut track 'All Time Low' is one of the more innovative tracks to come out of Britian in recent years - not because it pushes the envelope, but because it took all the then-current trends and mashed them together in an understated and classy way.  And that's the formula that has kept The Wanted on top with their subsequent singles as well - they're edgy and urban without featuring Pitbull for no reason, and they pull off the dubstep/eurotrance/ravey thing without it sounding like an on-trend cash-in.

Also they are REALLY REALLY HOT.

With one single off their sophomore album still riding high on the charts (it peaked at #3), it's time for the boys to chuck out the tune that will properly launch the forthcoming LP.  It has a totally-not-gay title of "Glad You Came" and is kind of what would happen if Jennifer Lopez's 'On The Floor' was a little less crass and was sung by a group of really sexy teenage boys.  In other words it is very very good.

Last night a thing happened that was amazing and this is a video of that thing - watch Britney and Nikki Minaj perform now!

"I don't feel real good, y'all"

So last night was the Billboard Awards or the Irrelevant Magazine World Cup or the CHARTS MEAN NOTHING NOW AND WE FEAR FOR OUR CAREERS ceremony or something.  It was basically one of those self-congratulatory crapfests where the people who were always obviously going to win won and the people who obviously weren't going to win didn't even show up, but the evening was notable for one thing.  And this is that thing:



No, Britney can't dance still, and no, Nikki Minaj is still nothing more than a big personality with kinda crap songs, but goddamn if that wasn't a blast to watch.