Kelly Rowland performs on UK X Factor and...is not Beyonce

Yes.

We love Kelly Rowland.  We want to be clear about that up front. 

We also are not blind, and we are certainly not deaf.  Which means that despite all our love for Miss K, we are fully aware that she IS NOT BEYONCE.

That fact was on full display when K-Ro took to the stage at the UK X-Factor with a medley of her biggest upbeat hits, but bless her heart, she certainly did try her ass off didn't she. 

Her vocals are a little wobbly, the choreography isn't spectacular, and she ends up looking a bit more like one of the X-Factor contestants than one of the superstars who frequent its stage, but Kelly's always had something about her that we just love nonetheless.

Unfortunately, the general populous doesn't feel the same way, as her latest album bombed at #56 in the UK this week. 

So....womp womp, etc.

Lady Gaga continues her 'Marry The Night' campaign on UK X Factor - watch now

Oh.

So the other night Lady Gaga visited the UK X Factor in her ongoing blitz to ensure that 'Marry The Night' becomes a hit even though everyone got over it a few months ago.  And while the performance was "interesting" in that way that Gaga's performances are always interesting, it also wasn't anything special. 

Miss G spent the first few minutes of the track sitting in a confessional box underneath a big cross because OF COURSE, and then burst out of it to reveal herself as an oddly-proportioned headless woman who sings.  So, par for the course for team Gaga then.  The thing that really troubles us though is that, practically speaking, the whole thing shouldn't work because HOW CAN A HEAD SING IF IT IS NOT ATTACHED TO LUNGS?

We demand answers and fully intend to "Occupy Gaga" until this is resolved.

Anyway, it was good and well done and Gaga was in fine voice as (almost) always but we can't help feeling like this would have worked a bit better 2 weeks ago around Halloween. 

Let's all watch Florence (and her Machine) sing her new single on X Factor UK

I am a triangle with a head.

So last night Florence Welch, of Florence And The Machine, had what people generally call a VERY GOOD EVENING.  First came word that her new album 'Ceremonials' had mounted the summit of the UK album charts, like a hooker mounting a (Ed.: STOP IT RIGHT NOW) and then the ginger genius took the stage to perform her single 'Shake It Out' on the biggest show in the British Isles.  

In typically understated fashion (sarcasm!) Flo-Wo begins all demure and quiet, and then the camera pans out and a huge dress train carried by her minions starts flapping about while a church choir sings, because OF COURSE.  

Really the best part of the whole thing is Florence, though, and her undeniable vocal prowess.  None of her songs are particularly easy to sing, but she consistently pulls them off with a flair that most pop strumpets would kill for.  Sure, she doesn't dance around, and she's not going to glitter bomb the audience or nip-slip her way into a tabloid, but as grown-up, down-to-earth female chart acts go, she's certainly one of the best. 

Though, if we're entirely honest, if one of these days Flo wants to strip down and vogue a bit to a discowhistle donkfest, we would not object in the least.  But until then, here's 'Shake It Out':

"Well done."

Kelly Clarkson rocks out The X-Factor with 'Mr. Know It All'

omg y'all no way

Kelly Clarkson visited the new show by the man who made her a star, and showed everyone exactly why she was the one that made it.  Because if Justin Guarini was up on that stage....well, let's just not go down that road. 

While performing 'Mr. Know-It-All' on Simon Cowell's U.S. version of 'X-Factor', Miss Clarkson ruled the stage in pitch-perfect voice and with a commanding presence, along with a troupe of drummers wearing the now-requisite (thanks, Gaga) ridiculous outfits that must accompany ANY SORT OF LIVE PERFORMANCE FOR ANY REASON.  Luckily Kelly was able to ignore them completely and go about her divaish business.

It was a great performance of a great song, but we can't help but feeling like having someone like Kelly on the show only underscores just how lackluster the contestants are.  Sure, they don't have a team of handlers primping and prodding them, and no, they haven't had months of vocal coaching to perfect every second of each song they sing, but Kelly just has a certain something that blows most everyone else off the stage. 

Also she's looking quite thin.  So...good for you, Kelly.