Let's all talk about how Kylie's 'Timebomb' video is the best she's ever made

Things that are epic.

Kylie is one of those stars who has been in danger for some time of becoming a "heritage act."  One that is great for all their old hits, but whose new output doesn't really connect with audiences.  Like Madonna or Cher or those other divas who have been around for a couple decades, she always had the gays to fall back on, but though her last album 'Aphrodite' was a smash, some worried that lately she'd just been preaching to the choir.

'Aphrodite' spawned one huge single ('All the Lovers') and a couple mediocre ones, but it seems as though everyone - including Team Kylie - agreed a fresher approach was needed.

And we got it, ScopiSubjects.  'Timebomb' the track - a one-off single celebrating K-Mo's 25 years in the business and her 44th birthday - is the perfect Kylie single.  Like 'Slow' or 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head' it features the usually sweet and bubbly pop princess being slightly menacing, taking on a bit of an edge.  With a strategic whisper and a shout or two, she injects her trademark personality into the track, and like the aforementioned hit singles, it comes out all the better for it.

The video, though, is where Team K really hit it out of the park.  Gone is the slick, campy imagery so often chucked out by her gay-husband "image designer" William Baker, and in its place is a gritty, relevant clip that both honors the 25 year legacy of the star and signals to the world that she's not leaving anytime soon.  And all of that without throwing on a leotard and acting like a grandmother in heat (ahem, Madonna).

The 'Timebomb' clip features Kylie at her most natural, which happens to be Kylie at her very best.  It's "now," it's epic, and it should make the young up-and-comers sit up and take notice that to be a truly great pop star you don't need any gimmicks.  Just good editing, a great track, and a world of personality.

'Timebomb' is out now on iTunes UK, Australia and US, and will be performed on the UK's 'The Voice' final this weekend.

Gossip 'Move In The Right Direction' in new video

Hipster nonsense.

Gossip - which one commenter snarkily pointed out are NO LONGER CALLED 'The Gossip' - have been ramping up their new album campaign for a couple months now.  They just played an epic show in New York City last night, which was streamed live across the interwebs, and, as the LP came out last week, are now chucking out the album's second single.  

It is called 'Move In The Right Direction' and it is a slick Xenomania-Fred Falke kind of affair, probably because those are the actual people who produced it.  It's not the catchiest thing we've heard, to be honest, but luckily for everyone, Beth Ditto's sassy vocals could make even a Katy Perry song sound interesting. 

For the video - which may or may not be a temporary "lyric" video, as bands are wont to do these days - the band have gone all black-and-white and drag-queen-makeupy, and from the appearance of the troupe of robotic male Kylie-esque dancers, it seems the group are GOING FOR THE GAYS even more than usual.  And that's saying something for a band whose last album was called 'Music For Men.' 

It's all very good, and all in the aid of album sales (which are NOT SPECTACULAR IN THE LEAST AT THE MOMENT - the album will debut in the low 30's in the UK), as everyone involved knows this isn't exactly going to light the singles charts on fire.  But at least their die-hard fans have an excellent record to jam out to while they wait for everyone else to remember that Gossip are brilliant.


Gossip - Move In The Right Direction by AceVideos

Milla Jovovich's new single 'Electric Sky' is...electric

Leeloo Dallas Multipass.

Way back in the 90's when we were just spotty teenagers and Resident Evil was still just a video game, Milla Jovovich was a burgeoning actress and model who also did some singing.  Though she had a small role in the cult hit 'Dazed and Confused,' and would later shoot to fame in movies like 'The Fifth Element,' it was actually her debut album that first put Milla on our pop-culture map.

The album was called 'The Divine Comedy' and was amazing.  It was released in 1994, with the brilliant lead single 'Gentlemen Who Fell' preceding it.  It was folksy, earthy, catchy and grounded, and though the LP was far from polished, it was a hidden gem of 90's alt-pop that deserved more fanfare than it received from the general public.  To us, though, it was the soundtrack to our year, and was hardly out of our 5-CD changer at any given time.

Of course, right after the album came and went with ABSOLUTELY NO ONE NOTICING, Miss Jovovich's film career exploded and music was understandably shoved to the wayside.  And so it remained for, oh, two decades or so. 

But no longer, ScopiSubjects, because she is back with a big new track called 'Electric Sky.'

It's a world away from her nearly 20-year old debut, and finds the modtress (actel?) taking up a disco-y club style that wouldn't seem at all out of place in the aforementioned 'Fifth Element.'  It's all KILLER BASSLINE and ETHEREAL VOCALS and is under 3 minutes long, so requires very little commitment on the listener's part, which is always a good thing unless you're a 20-minute remix of Kylie or we're on ecstasy and have access to unlimited amounts of glo-sticks.
  
In short, it's a great little pop song, and is only the first track of what Milla hopes will be a "6 to 7 track EP" which will come out......sometime.

Let's hope it's not another 20 years from now. 

Maroon 5 still uses a 'Payphone' in new video

"speak into my mouthpiece"

Ok so we're fully aware that this video came out like 5 days ago, but we were in Vegas trying not to die when everything "went down" and upon our return we were SO MOVED by (read: ambivalent to) the clip that we had to write something about it.

So it's Maroon 5's new single and it is called 'Payphone' and it is good, and even though it is not the heartfelt eulogy to its near-extinct namesake that we hoped for, with lingering closeups of the old rusty bacteria-hives we once were forced to use, the whole thing is still VERY GOOD.  We say it is VERY GOOD not only because it is ACTUALLY VERY GOOD but also because they obviously spent quite a lot on it and made an effort so we'd feel bad saying anything else because it would probably hurt lots of peoples' feelings.

Also, Adam Levine doing hero stuff in glasses....so.......

No Doubt is coming back on Sept 25 with new album

Kids, this is what the 90's looked like.  Yes.  You are right to be scared.

Virtually nothing of note has come out in the last week so we've been kind of at a loss for what to talk about.  Sure, The Wanted sang a song on a tv show, and some kind-of-crap tracks were foisted onto the interwebs, but nothing really piqued our overly-demanding, toddler-like interest.  Until now, thanks to a band that most of One Direction was barely alive to enjoy.

No Doubt is one of those bands from the 90s who seem quaint and safe now, and also kind of like your grandmother might "like" them on Facebook because they're hip enough to score her points with the kids, but safe enough that they're not going to get her barred from the church bridge club either.  It's hard to remember that when they first came on the scene, they were actually pushing the envelope in a number of ways.  BUT THEY WERE.

Musically, they were part of the breakthrough of post-punk ska that acts like Sublime pioneered, and culturally, they gave the world Gwen Stefani who was the 90's Dr. Martin version of Debbie Harry - which despite how it sounds is a good thing.

The band certainly had their highs and lows throughout the years, and when Gwen went solo in 2004, it seemed like the group might be finished for good.  BUT THAT IS NOT SO, SCOPISUBJECTS.  For the fierce foursome are set to return with a brand new album on September 25, as this cute video featuring an inexplicably un-aged Gwen announces.

It's a pretty by-the-numbers interview thingy and doesn't give a whole lot of information but still.... yay! etc.

Cher Lloyd gets all American in the new video for 'Want You Back'

America, meet your newest pop star.

With the sudden and unexpected success of The Wanted (mmmm sexy) and One Direction (eh, we'll have a few drinks first) in the US, other British teen-pop artists are trying to get in on the action.  The latest is X Factor non-winner Cher Lloyd, with her single 'Want You Back.'  It already came and went in the UK, but for some reason her handlers think that this could be the song to break her in America.  BECAUSE IT IS PROPERLY TREMENDOUS.

We already went on and on about how brilliant it was as a tune back when it was originally released, so we'll save you all that nonsense and on that score just say that the "rap" bit by something called an Astro has been taken out and the song is a billion times better because of it.  The weird thing is that Astro is actually an American rapper, so they've removed the one thing US audiences might recognize.  Having said that, the rap was the kind of cringe-worthy "featuring" nightmare that makes us want to sit on a knife, so regardless of how it may hurt the track's chart prospects this has to be considered a win all around.

As for the video, it's a lot like the UK version, in that it involves Cher DOING FACES and BEING SEXY and also dumping edible things on people she doesn't like but of course in this version everything takes place in a diner because what could be possibly more "America In 2012" than a 50's diner..

The key here is that as much as the whole thing is just an HD version of Mandy Moore's 'Candy,' it works (and works rather spectacularly) solely on the back of Cher's undeniable charisma.  She comes off as more authentic and committed than any of the Jojos or Jessica Simpsons or Avril Lavignes, because even though we know she's faking every second of this bullshit, we can also see how much she enjoys it.  She's making those faces because that's what Cher Lloyd does, not because someone told her to.  Never mind the fact that someone obviously told her to.

'Want You Back' (US VERSION) is, in sum, a cute little video that serves as a neat introduction of Cher to American audiences, which is probably exactly the point.  So, well done everyone, cheap champagne all around.

Oh and also there's a puppy.  A really cute puppy.

Sky Ferreira is 'Lost In My Bedroom' in her brand new pop stormer

This is the FUTURE OF POP sucking on something, in full makeup.

Sky Ferreira is one of those artists that has been "up and coming" for what seems like forever now, and like so many other hopeful pop strumpets whose labels insist on edging their career along at a crawl, we kind of wish she'd just get it over with and come already.  Because she is brilliant.

She's not had a "proper release" yet, other than her 2011 UK single 'One' which topped out at #64 on the charts, but her handlers have been chucking out buzz tracks since 2010.   Which means we've been teased with this girl, the ostensible SAVIOR OF POP, for two years now without any real payoff.

During those past two years, Sky has been modeling and fashioning and posting lots of pictures on the Twitters where Terry Richardson pours mud down her cleavage and stuff for no reason, so it's kind of understandable she hasn't had time to fully dedicate herself to "her craft" until now.  But still, we think we speak for everyone who has been following her under-the-radar unofficial releases when we say that IT IS ABOUT TIME TO GET ON WITH IT IF THIS IS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN. 

Luckily we won't have to wait much longer, as it appears we are finally about to get the long-delayed debut album from Miss F.  The album's lead single is called 'Red Lips,' and the the majority of tracks are apparently a bit darker and more artsy than her previous 80's-heavy pop ditties.  But to assure us that she hasn't abandoned her mainstream roots she's chucked out a demo version of a very pop album track from the new LP, called 'Lost In My Bedroom.'

It is VERY GOOD in that way that a song can be very good but should still never be released as a single (which is why it is not being released as a single, we presume).  It's the kind of thing that's not going to be a hit, but is still fun to listen to because who cares if radio doesn't play it - we can still dance our beglittered asses off to whatever the hell we want to before going out to that tragic gay bar where that bouncer drag queen thing always makes fun of us and then we spend the whole night drinking in the corner trying to suck in our guts because we had that slice of pizza yesterday even though we KNEW the first weekend at the Fire Island house was coming up for f*cks sake, but whatever, carbs are a part of life and everyone needs to come to grips with that.  

Anyway, it's apparently the "most electro" sounding thing on the record, which is either a good thing or a bad thing depending on if you wanted the album to be electro or not:



As we said, though, Sky's actual new single is called 'Red Lips' and it's a kind of post-Garbage alt-pop thing that wouldn't be out of place on college radio in the 90's.  Which means it is kind of amazing.  She recently posted a 25-second preview, and this is what it sounds like:



As you can hear, it is VERY GOOD, and fits in very nicely to our fantasy version of the future where Sky and Lourdes Leon battle it out in a Hunger Games style chart war.

Yes.  It's all coming together now.....

The Wanted are 'Chasing the Sun' with vampires in their new video

Just a normal Saturday...

The Wanted are all of a sudden huge in America (and locked in some sort of DEATH RACE with fellow Brits One Direction) and to kick off their just-out first US EP, they recorded two BRAND NEW tracks.  One of them is of course the lead single, and it is called 'Chasing The Sun.'  It is essentially 'Glad You Came' but with a slightly different "OH OH OH" part, and will probably be huge without winning any awards for uniqueness. It's really what The Wanted to best - by-the-numbers pop, but executed flawlessly.

The video is the most interesting thing about the whole thing - first because it's the boys from The Wanted and let's face it they're A LITTLE BIT GORGEOUS except for the one (you know who we're talking about, don't pretend) - and second because it's actually kind of engrossing to watch.  It's all about vampires, because of course, and contains a better storyline and more competent acting in 3 minutes than the Twilight movies have across the entirety of the films. It's all in keeping with the "WE ARE BRITISH AND MYSTERIOUS AND THEREFORE POSSIBLY SLIGHTLY DANGEROUS EVEN THOUGH GUNS ARE BANNED IN OUR COUNTRY" image that has been carefully crafted for the boys, and is certainly worth the watch if you enjoy sexy men doing things on screen.

If you don't then you probably shouldn't be reading this blog anyway, so we're just going to show you the video now.




"ADEQUATE."

Cheryl Cole's 'Call My Name' may be the SONG OF THE SUMMER if you live in like, Wales or something

Invisible.

Much ink has been spilled about Cheryl Cole's viability as a solo artist, and not without reason.  Since her days in Girls Aloud she's been "the one to watch" and with her epic divorce, brush with malaria-death, and often-wobbly X-Factor judging, she has never exactly shied away from the limelight.  But even in the throes of explosive diarrhea, she has always managed to chuck out VERY GOOD SONGS by what seems like complete accident.

In short, she's not one of those artistes who puts out a song and says JUDGE ME ON MY MUSIC, O PUBLIC but for our immediate purposes that's just what we are going to try to do.  So here are some things about the big Cheryl Cole comeback single:

1.  It is a dance corker with a donk on it
2.  It is a thing by Calvin Harris, because of course it is
3.  It is not as good as "We Found Love" but Cheryl Cole is not as good as Rihanna so that seems appropriate
4.  It has a nice eastern-y feel to it sometimes which makes the track feel "a little bit different" in the way that purple cotton candy seems to taste slightly different than pink cotton candy even though it is exactly the same in every way
5.  It is very good and will likely have some discowhistle shirts-off hands-up rave remixes that we'll barely remember dancing to this summer
6. Somewhat confusingly it is by someone named only Cheryl, and not by Cheryl Cole.  This is ostensibly because Cheryl Cole's people feel that she is enough of an icon that she can go by one name.  (She is not.)
7.  It is out June 10, because apparently it's 1994 and people still release singles to radio A MONTH AND A HALF before they are available to purchase even though time and time again this has proven LITERALLY DISASTROUS to the chart prospects of "big time single launches."

Those were some things about the Cheryl Cole single.  And now here it is.



There it was.

Nelly Furtado's BIG COMEBACK SINGLE is here - listen to the premiere now!

This is an amazing single sleeve.

After cementing her place as a duchess of pop (not quite a princess, but not a Dev either...) with hits like 'I'm Like A Bird' and 'Say It Right,'  Nelly Furtado took her millions of royalty dollars and went off to a spa or something for a few years.  And also recorded a Spanish language album because of course.

But now she's BACK BACK BACK and ready to show these new young whipper snappers how it's done.  Her new single, the kind-of-geniusly titled 'Big Hoops (Bigger The Better)' thankfully eschews the clubland donkfest that somehow has become the droning background noise of the 2010s, and instead goes for an upbeat dancehall vibe with an unexpected drum and bass outro.

It's "very good" in the sense that it sounds like not a lot what's out right now, and also "kind of mediocre" in that it's not the catchiest thing we've heard.  To be fair though, Rihanna made number 1 hits out of far less, so we're not ruling anything out.

Her last appearance on the US singles chart was way back in 2007, so if she's going on name-recognition alone she'll have her work cut out for her. But at the very least, it's nice to hear Nelly's unique vocals coming out of our speakers again.  Now we just have to wait and see if the rest of the world feels the same way.

Here's 'Big Hoops':

Marina and the Diamonds previews 'Electra Heart' album - listen now!

Someone hasn't shaved...

Indie-pop darling Marina Lambrini Diamandis, better known as Marina and the Diamonds, dropped the lead single off her new LP 'Electra Heart' a couple weeks ago, and it is brilliant.  It is called 'Primadonna' and is the kind of tune that Katy Perry would be doing if she was less concerned with her chart placing and more concerned with being an actual musical artist.  And also if she actually wrote anything with like, meaning.  The track is hard-hitting both musically and lyrically, with a combination of sunny beats and withering social commentary that we really haven't heard since Lily Allen burst on the scene.  

Understandably, the unbridled brilliance of 'Primadonna' raised expectations for its parent album, but everyone can now stop wringing their hands in fearful anticipation because it appears that the entire album is LEGITIMATELY QUITE AMAZING.

Marina's people have chucked a nifty Youtube sampler thingy on the interwebs, and we've done you the favor of pasting it below.  You should probably go ahead and click "play" on it since we have a lot of ground to cover before we get there.  You might as well multi-task. 

If you followed our advice (and if you didn't you're a dick) you're a few seconds into the opening track, and already are beginning to realize what we already know:  if the half-minute clips are anything to go by this will be one of the best pop albums of the year.  It's timely without being gimmicky, deep without being inaccessible, and, perhaps most importantly, full of Marina's personality and (many) vocal quirks.  We mention that last bit as the "most important" because with Ms. and the Diamonds' swing toward the slick radio-friendly sound of mainstream radio, she ran the risk of her tunes sounding like everything else that's out at the moment.  

Nearly all the tracks are balls-to-the-wall bangers and nearly all of them are amazing.  Sure, the dubstep thing seems a bit unnecessary, and not all the songs reach out and grab the listener right away, but we're prepared to give it a preliminary 7.5 out of 10 solely for the apparent absence of any autotune.  Add in the presence of SOLID TUNES and an opening stomper called 'Bubblegum Bitch' and we have on our hands an album with a hearty 8 out of 10 rating.

Of course none of this necessarily will translate into actual success for the singer.  She's long been knocking around as "one to watch" but as the pop world veers ever further into the seething chasm of slick, soulless tracks with no personality, it only becomes harder for artists who refuse to pitch-correct themselves into chart clones to actually make any impact.  It's the same problem facing the Scissor Sisters' new track - the production, energy and hook are all there.  But the jury's still out on whether the masses will give a chance to something with a little more substance than "I HAVE FALLEN INTO AN AUTOTUNE MACHINE WHILE CLUBBING AND SLEEPING WITH MANY PARTNERS."

In fact, the subject matter Marina covers often preaches against the vapid and fame-obsessed pop culture assembly-line that has steamrolled the music industry with its synth-laden sameness.  But by burying her subversive messages in catchy hooks and sparkly beats rather than her usual brand of acoustic-y indie pop, she might just be on to something.  That she made the switch to dance music without losing her viewpoint and her own sense of artistry - indeed Marina seems to play the role of pop vixen with a knowing wink - makes the whole thing all the more impressive.  And on 'Electra Heart,' her somehow "authentic" transition to dance diva, Marina uses the masses' own musical weapons against them.  The only question is whether anyone will fall for it. 

The Jessie J train rolls on with 'Laserlight' ft. David Guetta

We had something for this...

The other day we wrote about how Calvin Harris has his fingers dipped in just about every pie these days.  We neglected to clarify that he only has his fingers in the pies that David Guetta didn't get to first.  WHICH ARE A LOT.

It seems nearly every mid-to-major popstar has worked with the DJ lately, and now Jessie J has hopped on that train with her new single.  It's called 'Laserlight' and it is all about...well, lasers and lights we imagine.  With these donkfest club bangers does it really matter?

It's not bad by any stretch, but it also comes off as a bit of an also-ran in the grand scheme of things.  The whole dirty-synth club track thing long ago reached what we thought was the saturation point, but it appears that once again we overestimated the masses and their desire for something - ANYTHING different and groundbreaking.

Ah well, it'll be nice to dance to at 2 am. Even if it is no 'Domino.'

The new Scissor Sisters single 'Only The Horses' is very good

Just a normal Saturday night at Scissor Towers

Ok so here's the thing.  The Scissor Sisters rock our socks.  There was a time when Calvin Harris did too, but now that everything in the world sounds exactly like a Calvin Harris song, the sock rocking has diminished significantly.

Which presents us with a conundrum.  The amazing Scissor Sisters, who are known for their singular viewpoint and unique take on modern pop, have joined forces with the still-amazing-but-overexposed Calvin Harris who makes everything sound like...well, a Calvin Harris song. 

Is it amazing?  Or is it annoying because the Sisters' sound has been diluted by "the machine" that is radio-friendly pop schlock?  The answer is that in the broader context of "THE STATE OF POP MUSIC" it is a very good version of something we've heard a million times before, albeit with a lot more soul than the usual autotuned garbage that litters the charts.  In isolation, though, when examined on its own musical merits, it is a tremendous feat of pop, and maybe just the thing to rid the Scissors of the stink of failure that still clings to them from their last album.

Plus there are sure to be some stomping remixes so to be completely honest it really doesn't matter how good the song is (even though we have already established that it is, in fact, very good).  Even if it was a hulking pile of absolute shit, the gays would still get some good shirts-off poppers-o-clock discowhistle action out of it, and at the end of the day isn't that what really matters?

The answer, of course, is no, but whatever.

Here's 'Only The Horses.'

THE NEW DRAGONETTE SINGLE IS HERE AND IT IS PHENOMENAL

THIS IS A THING THAT IS WONDERFUL

Only in the rarest of circumstances do we post twice in the same day but THIS IS ONE OF THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES, albeit mostly because we were lazy and forgot to post the Saturdays thing earlier.

But the real reason we are posting twice is because no matter what else happens in the entire world we are morally obligated to write about any new Dragonette music because they are LITERALLY AMAZING, and because they are without a doubt the most underrated band in existence today.  Both of these statements are facts and if anyone reading this doubts them, they can sit on a knife because that person is of no use to a society that values incredible songs and also because fuck you, don't question us.

Anyhoodle, here's the new Dragonette.  We already mentioned that it is AMAZING but let us just underscore once more that it is ACTUALLY TREMENDOUS in the most epic sense possible and deserves to be number 1 for 17 weeks and then win every Grammy including the spoken word children's book category which is an actual thing for some reason.

If you like The Saturdays, you will like their new song '30 Days' - listen to the premiere now!

One of us is wearing very blue tights.

Does anyone else remember a time when an artist's music came out at reasonable intervals and entire album campaigns weren't abandoned after a couple of months?  BECAUSE WE DO.  Apparently, though, the rest of the world has forgotten how nice it was to have a band put out some tunes and then "live with them" for a while.  We loyal listeners would be treated to a few different performances of each single on some different tv shows, and maybe even a live jazz version or something after the track had become a hit so it didn't seem too pretentious, of course.

But those days are over, ScopiSubjects, or at least they are for The Saturdays and their ilk.  Their last album was released in November of 2011, but they group have already moved on to new material - ostensibly from a new LP.  It might be for the best, of course - it's not like "On Your Radar" set the charts afire.  It limped in at a dismal #23 in the UK, and then disappeared into Wikipedia quiz obscurity immediately thereafter.

But never fear, suits at Fascination Records whose new home balloon payments depend on the girls' royalties!  In the interest of "keeping the momentum going" for the band, The Sats' handlers have decided to gloss over that album, pretend it never happened, and start fresh and new with brand-spankin fresh material....that sounds more or less like a track that would have been rejected from the very album they're trying to forget for being "a bit too crap."

Because of course.

That's not to say it's bad by any means - '30 Days' finds the foxy fivesome doing what they do best: slick dance-pop with a ravey poppers-and-glitter vibe.  It's not going to win the band any converts, but at least it's not a complete misfire. 

And on the upside, at this rate we'll have 3 full new Saturdays albums by Christmas.



'30 Days' is out in the UK in May.

UK XFactor Judge Tulisa's New Donkfest Single Is Here

Terrifyingly, this is not the sex tape.

Is it a coincidence that the brand new single by former N-Dubz group member and current UK X-Factor judge Tulisa is coming out mere days after her sex tape "accidentally" leaked?  Tulisa's team says that yes, it is, but we're pretty sure they were winking and maniacally laughing the entire time.

After all, it seems pretty convenient that the whole idea of the track is "oh when you're young you do stupid things, so screw you all I was young and also when I say I'm sorry in the song what I actually mean is f*ck off and then buy my album" considering the surrounding circumstances.

Even if the one-two punch of a sex tape and single (a phenomenon which we're terming "sex single") is a giant promo stunt and everyone knows it, the truth of the matter is it will probably work.  Which is good because otherwise there's no way this song would get noticed.  Pre-sex tape, this track would be a top 40 also-ran.  Now Tulisa's likely looking at a top 10 hit and a place on every tired Ibiza-themed compilation from now until next summer.

"We Are Young" - not to be confused with the Fun/Janelle Monae track that actually contains some artistic merit - is a by-the-numbers Euro donkfest meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator, and will do just that.  Sure there might be some killer remixes, and yeah it'll sound good as background noise while we drunkenly glitter bomb the drunk girl who shoved in ahead of us at the bar, but nothing about this track is particularly special or memorable in any way.

Which is fine.  Thanks to her sex tape we at least know she's good at SOMETHING.

The Gossip are back with 'Perfect World' - listen now!

I am Beth Ditto and you are now my slave

The Gossip are an underrated band and everyone knows that except the people that should be rating them more.  Their frontwoman Beth Ditto is an amazing force of musical nature, and even though she's off pursuing solo stardom she still has been working with her band because THE WORLD CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH BETH.

It's certainly taken a while - their last single was back in 2010 (though their most recent chart hit came in 2009) - but the group are screaming back onto the scene with alt-pop corker 'Perfect World.'  It's not the usual poppers-and-glitter donkfest we fawn over here, but to be fair Gossip have always turned out some BALLS TO THE WALL remixes so we're not too worried.  Also the single is produced by F*CKING XENOMANIA so anyone who has a problem with it can just go sit on a knife.

It's a welcome return and we can't wait to hear the rest of the album.  Unless it's crap.

Marina and the Diamonds are about to drop the single of the Spring - 'Primadonna' is here and it is amazing

I AM AMAZING

So Marina and the Diamonds are this thing that is mostly just a girl named Marina who sings some songs.  A couple years ago two or three of those songs became major players on "the blogs" and minor players on the charts, but it appears that all of that may have just been a quiet, unheralded precursor to Marina ACTUALLY TAKING OVER THE WORLD.

Marina's past "hits" were brilliant in their own understated way - 'I Am Not A Robot' was a particularly enjoyable tune - but it was clear all along that the songs weren't really intended for big chart success.  But with the band's new album 'Electra Heart' EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED.  Big names, big tunes, and (hopefully) big success.

The first real track from the album (the earlier released buzz track 'Radioactive' has been axed from the LP) is called 'Primadonna' and it is one of the best singles to come out so far in 2012.  It's got a killer melody, a sickeningly catchy hook, and - judging by the teaser - is going to have a rad-ass video to go along with it.

Here's 'Primadonna' in all its radio-ripped glory, and a short snippet of the video just to whet your visual appetite.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Madonna GOES FOR THE GAYS with 'Girl Gone Wild' video - watch the teaser now!

I'm like your grandma.  But naked.

So not everyone (read: almost no one) was super pleased with Madge-mantis' BIG COMEBACK SINGLE 'Give Me All Your Luvin,' and after it made its one-and-done appearance on the US charts and epically flopped in the UK, all the new album's hopes were pinned on the second track from her new LP.  

The track is called 'Girl Gone Wild' and it is kind of a shitshow.  It's essentially a retread of 'Celebration' (both songs were done by Benny Bennassi) and manages to sound both over- and under-produced at the same time.  It's a bit behind the curve of the whole "dance revolution" that has taken over the pop world, but to be fair it has some stomping remixes to accompany it so not everything is lost and it might just rule the clubs for a good few months.

While its chart prospects may be in doubt, we're not sure that was ever the point.  Because what we are sure of is that this is not a track intended to appeal to the mainstream.  Like, at all.  Madonna knows that her only remaining hardcore fan-base is THE GAYS, and anyone with one or more gay as a Facebook friend knows that the second this came out they were ALL OVER IT in epic fashion, tossing all the "werk"s and "furrce"s they could muster at it even though it is terrible.

If that wasn't sign enough that this track is squarely aimed at the confirmed bachelors of the world, we also have handy proof in the video teaser for the clip which showed up online today.  It's all Kazaky-ish abs-and-pecs madness with guy-on-guy action and quick black and white cuts (courtesy of the literally awesome photo team Mert & Marcus of Vogue, W, and general Conde Nast-y fame) and the whole thing would be RATHER SHOCKING INDEED if this was 2003 and if Lady Gaga never happened.

Also Madonna fingers herself in the preview.  Because of course she does.

'Girl Gone Wild' is out now for download and is....not doing well.  But when you're selling out 100,000-capacity stadiums at $400 a pop and boatloads of albums, who cares about putting out a relevant single?

Not Madonna.  Because fuck you she's Madonna.

As a caveat to all of this, however, the rest of the album is kind of brilliant in an epic sense - which actually just angers us more because OF ALL THE TRACKS SHE COULD HAVE CHOSEN WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THIS GARBAGE?


Madonna - Girl Gone Wild (Teaser) from Roberto on Vimeo.

Calvin Harris keeps chucking out singles - listen to 'Let's Go' feat. Ne-Yo now

This is Calvin Harris with his hair done.

There was once a time when musical artists would release a song to promote an album, and then actually release an album.  But that time has passed and we are now living in an age where an act can get away with shooting parent-albumless singles out every orifice like some musical Teen Mom nightmare in a Wal*Mart bathroom.  We call these tracks "orphan songs" (sadface) and though most end up on an album sooner or later (even if it is a NOW! collection or some other nonsense) we still feel a bit sorry for them.

Calvin Harris hasn't quite gone that far, as he keeps telling us an actual LP is coming.  But we're now on the fourth (!!) single from his new album and there's not even a release date on the books. 

Not that it seems to matter - all of the singles have done VERY WELL INDEED - 'Feels So Close' and his duet with Kelis, 'Bounce' each barely missed #1 in the UK (they both stalled at #2), and everyone in the world is still humming along to his #1 smash with Rihanna, 'We Found Love.'  So maybe Calvin is on to something here.  Rather than sell an entire album of songs for ten bucks, sell a couple EP's of the same song for 7.99.  With no parent LP eating into later singles' sales, the only way to get each song is to buy the track or remix package, so Calvin's label gets tons of money, the people get their track, and everybody goes home happy not knowing the difference except the people who bought the 7th Heaven Remix EP because SERIOUSLY GUYS, DO SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT FOR ONCE.

Regardless of the weirdness of the Calvin Harris promo campaign, 'Let's Go' is still a nice little dance romp, though probably only if you like Calvin Harris.  If you don't then you probably will not like it and also probably shouldn't listen to the radio at all for the rest of the year because literally everything that is coming out sounds exactly like this.