Katy Perry took a break from terrorizing India with her wedding to film a video for new (and not completely terrible) single 'Firework,' the third taken from her 'Teenage Dream' album. Shot in sunny Budapest, there is some nice camera work and Katy herself looks remarkably good, but the "plot" is super self-congratulatory and QUITE A BIT RIDICULOUS.
A lot of LIFE AFFIRMING boxes get ticked in this baby... hot gay boys making out because KATY SAYS IT'S OK, an overweight girl making peace with herself because KATY SAYS IT'S OK, dancing amongst dangerous explosives in an architectural landmark because KATY SAYS IT'S OK and a girl dying of cancer but everything is fine because KATY SAYS IT'S OK.
The Robyn train keeps on chugging with the release of the video for her new once-a-ballad-but-now-not-a-ballad single 'Indestructible.' And, not that there was ever a question really, you'll all be glad to know that it is QUITE NOT TERRIBLE.
'Indestructible' is essentially 4 minutes of some Armani Exchange models getting it on while Robyn sits in the other room singing and pumping what is apparently the life force of the models' lovemaking through a tube-vest. A vest which is both amazing and ridiculous at the same time, and, as such, sums up Robyn in one delightfully insane garment.
Fair warning though - the whole affair is a sexy romp that you may not want to watch with your parents, unless you have a lap-covering pillow handy and your parents were really big hippies.
Daft Punk, the electro-awesome group that brought us the BRILLIANT 'Discovery' album and then followed it with some tuneless noise that elicited a chorus of 'meh's, are back in a big way - albeit not in the conventional sense. Their latest project has been scoring the LONG-AWAITED (read: unnecessary and money-grabbing) reboot of the 'Tron' film.
IT programmers the world over are rejoicing today, as a teaser trailer for the flick has shown up on the interwebs, and looks pretty faithful to the feel of the original while updating the effects. More important to us, of course, is the accompanying soundtrack - a brand new jam from "the Punk".
It's pretty standard fare for the group, and to be honest doesn't exactly mesh with the dark and eerie vibe the visuals give off, but if 'Tron' ends up anything like their masterpiece movie/long play animated music video 'Interstella 5555,' we'll be just fine.
Oh Kanye. If there's any way to convince people you're not a self-obsessed narcissist concerned only with excess, it's making a 34-minute "film" to accompany your new track complete with giant explosions, fireworks displays and lingerie models trying VERY HARD to act.
We highly doubt a great many of you have 34 minutes (and not an "extended episode of 'Friends' 34 minutes," either - a long, tedious 34 minutes that makes you feel as though you were born watching this screen, and will someday die doing the same) to sit around and watch Kanye stroke his own ego, so here is a nice capsule summary of 'Runaway:'
Everything starts with big red letters that say 'Runaway' and right off we know that this was all very pricey because it has a proper title. Then Kanye West does some things and then a woman in weird lingerie that makes it look like she's naked does some things and then Kanye West and the not-naked woman do some things together. People eat and some other people dance and then a deer eats and the not-naked woman grows feathers and turns into a bird. Kanye West becomes a 'Runaway' (see what he did there) and the not-naked bird woman flies into the sky and then big red letters say 'Runaway' again in case you forgot what you were watching because it has all been going on for so very, very long.
In sum:
The good:
1. It looks as though it cost more than the entire GDP of Namibia
2. There is a deer in it for no reason
3. It says the title at the beginning like a normal thing but then ALSO AT THE END
There is no denying that we here at ScopiSat have a bit of an Alesha 'thing.' 'The Boy Does Nothing' is still on 5 out of 6 of our iPod playlists, and 'Breathe Slow' is still what the kids call a PROPER TUNE. 'Drummer Boy,' while not up to the standard of her previous hits, was decent enough, though it met with a resounding "we think this deserves to peak at number 15" from the public, and it left us more than willing to give A-Dix (we're really hoping that catches on) a chance to turn things around and wow us again.
Unfortunately, 'Radio,' the "second chance to have a lead single," is probably not going to save the LP launch. It's a bit of a Robyn knockoff, but not in a take-the-best-parts-and-add-some-new-bits Frankenstein-y way. In more of a 'Dancing On My Own'-but-a-bit-more-crap kind of way. Which isn't to say it's bad, and it might actually do pretty well, all things considered. But after the album was pushed back following the failure of 'Drummer Boy,' one can't help feel quite a bit is riding on this rather lackluster track. It's just a little disheartening that a collection of BRILLIANT BUSINESS MINDS got together, sorted through all the options and said "yes. Yes, THIS is the track that is going to save Alesha's career."
"Mediocre"
A-Dix's (seriously, let's make this happen) LP 'The Entertainer' is out November 22 EVEN IF 'RADIO' TANKS. For real this time.
Okay so 'Get Outta My Way' hasn't been the worldwide smash many expected, although it still has a big launch this week in the US, complete with a brand new radio version (think Kelly Clarkson guitar) and appearances on Dancing With The Stars and Leno. The real news, however, is that Kylie has teamed up with hit powerhouse Taio Cruz on his new single 'Higher', and it is VERY QUITE GOOD.
Often these collaborations reek of desperation and last-minuteness, and while 'Higher' has both splattered all over it, it also manages to work in a bit of an epic fashion. Word has it the single is being released to raise K-Mo's profile in the US in hopes of bettering her chances for a big solo hit and we think it just might work.
Key points:
- it's dancy
- it's Taio
- it's Kylie
- it's Kylie and Taio on something dancy
So this whole 'Whip My Hair' video thing happened yesterday but we were still mulling over how exactly to feel about it. There were a number of considerations that we had to take into account before passing any sort of judgment, including but not limited to the following:
1. Willow is NINE and as such had little or no control whatsoever over the creative process, except for maybe saying 'can we have a part where Dora The Explorer comes in and dances' to which "her people" obviously (and, perhaps, sadly) said "no."
2. The video is both brilliantly flashy and "new" and also tragically dated and unhip - it kind of looks like what would happen if Lady Gaga's handlers did a Cleopatra video. (seriously, go watch 'Cleopatra's Theme' on YouTube now...we'll wait)
3. She is NINE
4. There are wigs and bejewelled appendages and that is generally VERY GOOD
5. NINE
6. The whole thing looks a bit like a Will Smith video
7. 'Independence Day' was pretty shit, wasn't it
8. 'I Am Legend' was alright though.
9. NINE
Cheryl Cole has a new album coming out, in case you haven't heard, and we think everyone should come together and just agree right now that it is the MOST BRILLIANTLY NAMED RECORD in recent memory. It is called 'Messy Little Raindrops' and that's all we really need to say about that.
We've already talked about how happy we are that Rihanna ditched the dark-and-brooding look-at-me-being-a-serious-artist thing she did on 'Rated R' and decided to embrace pure pop again, and while all of that still applies, we have to say we're actually more impressed with the video for 'Only Girl' than the song itself.
While 'Only Girl' already sounds a bit played out just a couple weeks after it hit the radio waves, the video is fresh and colorful and nice looking in a way that truly befits a BONA FIDE SUPERSTAR. Sure, it looks like it was shot with an iPhone 'Hipstamatic' picture app, and okay, it's really nothing we haven't seen before at all, but there's a certain gloss and finish to it that shows that even if a million people have done it before, you can still make it look totally unique if you do it VERY WELL.
Also, whoever dwas in charge of putting a bunch of pastel-colored props in the middle of the desert really deserves to get more work. Good job, champagne all around, etc etc
'Only Girl' is out next week in the UK, and out now most everywhere else
So apparently every time Robyn releases a touching, stripped down ballad, we can all count on it being rereleased a few weeks later in the form of an EPIC PULSATING SINGLE that will, in that way that only a Robyn single can do, reduce each and every one of us to tears as we thrust our hips around the dancefloor wildly sloshing vodka/crans all over the bachelorette party that is taking up the whole corner even though they have no business being in a gay bar anyway.
Yes, it's that time again - Robyn's third installment of the 'Body Talk' series is being readied, and to promote it she (her people) have chosen (made the arbitrary decision) to rerelease the tender orchestral ballad 'Indestructible' from Body Talk pt 2. It's pretty much par for the course, as she did the same thing with 'Hang With Me,' but 'Hang With Me' was amazing so she gets a pass.
As for the album itself, it will break away from the format of 'Talk' parts 1 and 2, by including 5 songs from each past installment and 5 brand new tracks. So, in essence, we've all really just wasted our time with the whole 3-part thing because come November 29 we can buy all the best tracks from the first collections and 5 new (likely QUITE GOOD) songs all in one go, but whatever we're fine with it.
Nicole has had a tough time of it since leaving-but-not-leaving the Pussycat Dolls. Her first solo singles all failed to make any dent whatsoever on the charts in her home country, and her debut solo album was shelved completely after being pushed back THREE TIMES. After a recent stint on the UK's 'X-Factor' and a hit single with some mole-less guy named Enrique, she's ready to try again - this time with MORE AIRBRUSHING and LESS CLOTHING and songs that SOUND MUCH MORE LIKE LADY GAGA SO THE GAYS WILL BUY HER RECORDS.
It seems Nicky may have finally caught a break, though, as relaunch single 'Poison' - based on this 1 minute sample that appeared online a while ago, at least - may actually be a COMPLETELY BRILLIANT in an off-the-rack-comeback-track kind of way. Sure it's not going to change the world, but it will still look great filling up the space in your iTunes closet.
"And the beast which I saw was like a leopard, and h(er) feet were like those of a bear, and h(er) mouth like the mouth of a lion. And the dragon gave him h(er) power and h(er) throne and great authority. 3 I saw one of h(er) heads as if it had been slain, and h(er) fatal wound was healed. And the whole earth was amazed and followed after the beast; 5 There was given to h(er) a mouth speaking arrogant words and blasphemies; 6 And (s)he opened h(er) mouth in blasphemies against God, to blaspheme His name and His tabernacle, that is, those who dwell in heaven"
Here is Real Housewife Kim's new song.
Pray hard, ScopiSubjects. For the hour of judgment is near.
Pink is rad for a lot of reasons. For sticking around the pop scene this long, for telling "the suits" to go f*ck themselves, for continually striving to be better at her craft, for being named Pink, and most importantly, for 'Just Like A Pill.'
After 5 studio albums, it's high time she put out a greatest hits record, and this November she will do just that. A week prior, however, will see the release of 'Raise A Glass,' the Max Martin-ified lead single from the collection and is one of three brand new tracks. It's all Pink-y guitars and drums and rockiness, but we're not 100% sold yet. Luckily, though, even mediocre Pink is still better than most pop music out there, so we'll take whatever we can get.
Duffy has had quite the past couple years. She rose from obscurity (we're talking serious obscurity too - the girl's Welsh, for chrissake) with her post-Amy Winebox jam 'Mercy,' and took the world by storm with her debut album and endless concerts during which she did things like set herself on fire by accident and then cry about it.
But even the most successful debut artist has to stare down that most daunting of pop milestones - the dreaded SOPHOMORE ALBUM OF TERROR. Usually this plays out one of four ways:
1. The artist changes nothing about their sound or image, the whole thing is a COMMERCIAL DISASTER, everyone says 'they should have changed everything' and then a bunch of record executives get fired
2. The artist changes everything about their sound and image, the whole thing is a COMMERCIAL DISASTER, everyone says 'they shouldn't have changed anything' and then a bunch of record executives get fired
3. The artist changes nothing about their sound or image, the whole thing is a COMMERCIAL TRIUMPH, everyone says 'this is wonderful but it would have been better if they changed everything' and a bunch of record executives get fired
4. The artist changes everything about their sound and image, the whole thing is a COMMERCIAL TRIUMPH, everyone says 'this is wonderful but it would have been better if they didn't change anything' and a bunch of record executives get fired
Let's see which Duffy has gone with then, shall we?
So that'll be either 1 or 3. We'll keep you updated.
EDIT: yes we know this isn't her ACTUAL second album, but it IS her second album as a SUCCESSFUL PERSON so it still totally counts
Mariah's last album, 'Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel,' in addition to being one of the most horrifically named records in recent memory (ScopiSat actually was hoping for 'Mariah Carey: The Squeakuel'), was a BIG BUDGET EPIC FAILURE, whose very mention strikes terror in the hearts of record execs the world over. It has been certified Gold in the US thanks to some dodgy wrangling and chart technicalities (the record label shipped just over 500,000 copies, even though far, far less have been sold) while in the UK the whole project tanked outside the top 20.
Regardless of her recent commercial failures, mental breakdowns, general trashiness (seriously, we know you love butterflies, just leave it alone) and high-calorie stress eating, Mariah is still remembered fondly for her hits, perhaps none more than 'All I Want For Christmas Is You.' It was (and remains) that kind of VERY RARE pop Christmas song that becomes an instant classic - that all at once seems timeless and of the moment - and really sets the tone for the holidays.
Well, Miss Cannon has decided to try to catch green and red lightning in a bottle once again. Because that's super easy to do. To be honest we kind of stopped caring about Mariah once she "recovered" from her little bout with insanity, but we suppose the song is pleasant enough.
Now that it's October, when the holiday season inexplicably begins for some reason, we can all enjoy this little slice of festive mediocrity. And then go listen to 'All I Want...' again because it is still AMAZING.
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