Nicole Scherzinger getting 'Wet' is kind of great - watch the new video now

"what do you mean your mom doesn't like me"

Nicole S has a new video and it is porn.  Like, straight up, full on, tits out/ass up porn.  Which is fine we guess - who are we to judge - but lord, she could at least have some subtlety right?  After all, the song is called 'Wet' and is about 'getting wet' and then going off to a dark corner to 'have some fun.'  So the whole thing just comes off as a bit on the nose if you ask us.

But no one DID ask us, so what we have essentially ended up with is a super skinny Kardashian look-alike shoving her box at the camera alongside a group of girls who look exactly like the Pussycat Dolls but are not the Pussycat Dolls because they're totally broken up and that would be stupid.

And all this happens to a kind of strange song that sounds like something we would have called ACTUALLY AMAZING until Lady Gaga ran the sound into the ground 2 years ago.  It's not bad, but it's one of those tracks that has really good verses but doesn't bother with a catchy chorus.  Which is ridiculous because THE WHOLE POINT OF A SONG IS THE CHORUS.

But whatever.  It probably won't even be released here anyway.  So all of our straight male readers (who clearly ended up at this site by complete accident) go ahead and enjoy this clip.  The rest of us will move on to something a little less crass.

Wait so the Nicole Scherzinger thing is still happening? Watch 'Don't Hold Your Breath's premiere now!

"Not Kim Kardashian"

Nicole Scherzinger has had such a time of it, hasn't she?  First she was TERRIBLY OVERSHADOWED by all those other Pussycat Dolls (this is a joke and we actually mean the opposite of what we said) and then she made some average songs that performed at a WELL BELOW AVERAGE LEVEL (this is NOT a joke).

Well, any dedicated ScopiSat reader - (i.e. the one individual in Sofia, Bulgaria who keeps accessing our site from a prison (!!) ) - will know that it's all turned around a bit for our girl Nikki as of late.  She did that thing with Enrique that charted ok in Europe, and then chucked out the ACTUALLY BRILLIANT 'Poison' which went top 3 in England.

One and a half hits firmly under her body-minimizing belt, and not one to rest on her surgically-augmented laurels, Miss S has decided to follow up 'Poison' with an almost-as-good track called 'Don't Hold Your Breath.'  We were going to do a whole thing about how the title of the song is probably the punchline to an inside joke at the record label that goes something like:

Overpaid Executive 1:  "Do you think Nicole's album will hit number 1?"
Overpaid Executive 2:  "Don't hold your breath!"
Overpaid Executives 1 and 2:  "hahahahaha"

But that would be mean.


Nicole Scherzinger - Don't Hold Your Breath (Official Music)
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"Promising."

Nicole Scherzinger is 'Poison' in new solo single - listen to the preview premiere now!

Nicole has had a tough time of it since leaving-but-not-leaving the Pussycat Dolls.  Her first solo singles all failed to make any dent whatsoever on the charts in her home country, and her debut solo album was shelved completely after being pushed back THREE TIMES.  After a recent stint on the UK's 'X-Factor' and a hit single with some mole-less guy named Enrique, she's ready to try again - this time with MORE AIRBRUSHING and LESS CLOTHING and songs that SOUND MUCH MORE LIKE LADY GAGA SO THE GAYS WILL BUY HER RECORDS. 

It seems Nicky may have finally caught a break, though, as relaunch single 'Poison' - based on this 1 minute sample that appeared online a while ago, at least - may actually be a COMPLETELY BRILLIANT in an off-the-rack-comeback-track kind of way.  Sure it's not going to change the world, but it will still look great filling up the space in your iTunes closet.

Enrique Iglesias and Nicole Scherzinger have a 'Heartbeat' together - watch the video now!

Enrique Iglesias has become somewhat of a mainstay on the music scene, having been knocking around the charts off and on for over a decade in the US, and nearly 20 years in the Spanish speaking world.  Not so for Nicole Scherzinger, however, as her much-hyped solo career never really took off.  Originally launched by the famous-for-their-singing-talent girlgroup Pussycat Dolls, Nicole struck out on the solo path in 2007 and struck out quite literally on the charts.  None (seriously, not a single one) of her solo singles have charted in the U.S., and the best her collaboration with Will.i.am could muster was a middling #14 in the UK.

Speaking of Will.i.am, one can't help but feel that 'Heartbeat' is a bit of a rip off of his song with Cheryl Cole, '3 Words,' off her debut solo album.  Both have a similar vibe and male-female mix, and both are well on the right side of VERY GOOD.

The video itself is pretty simple, albeit with some big-budget lighting tricks having to do with hearts and beats and heartbeats and such.  It's adequately cool without blowing the doors off the place, but coupled with the song should help Enrique sustain his 'I Like It' momentum and give Scherzinger her very first US chart placing.