The new Natalia Kills/Will.i.am video is like an AMAZING VERSION OF LADY GAGA but not pretentious or preachy. But a lot like Gaga. Like, a lot.

One certainly is fierce, isn't one.

As Lady Gaga continues her descent down the Lauper ladder of ridiculousness and unsustainability, the scramble is on to find the NEXT BIG THING.  Most of the people who are "in the know" figure that thing will be a little lady by the name of Natalia Kills, who has yet to find success despite being quite hotly tipped.  Like, she had a hit in Germany for two seconds, but so did Kazaky and JEdward so that's not really something you want to Twitter blast.

The long and the short of it is she's basically Lady Gaga but British and less preachy.  And her new song is amazing.  It's - in keeping with a theme, apparently - just like Gaga used to be before she decided she was Born This Way with horns and shit.  The video for 'Free' is a little spectacular too.  Natalia looks like a methed-out extra from 'Wicked,' and there are words on the screen every so often so you know it's classy. Also there are some shots of people sticking shoes down their panties.

As you do.

The track also features Will.i.am for absolutely no reason, saying ridiculous things for absolutely no reason, and sort of lurching around the video for absolutely - wait for it - no reason.

AS YOU DO.

Cher Lloyd's 'Swagger Jagger' video is kind of great but if you tell anyone we said that we will stab you in the ear

Yeah this is a thing now.

So here's the thing - the Cher Lloyd song is crap.  Everyone knows it's crap, everyone says it's crap, and everyone knows they're right to say so.  But it is also kind of amazing.  It's a ridiculous queef of a song that lyrically makes no sense whatsoever and musically is on par with a Roomba having a stroke, but - God forgive us - we're a little bit in love with it.  In like, a really aggressive, German leather-porn kind of way.

The weird thing is, we were just okay with the track until we saw the video, and then for NO REASON we fell head over heels for it.  Which is kind of comforting, because it leaves open the possibility that Simon Cowell has inserted subliminal messages into the clip or something (because come on, that is totally something he would do), but unfortunately it's hard to believe that's the case, considering the openly hostile response the video has received on the interwebs.  It has something like 17,000 "thumbs ups" on YouTube versus around a billion "thumbs downs," which is dangerously close to Rebecca Black territory. 

Let's take a peek at some of the comments shall we?

- "anyone who actually buys this shit needs to have their fucking brain amputated"
- "WHAT DO WE HAVE TO BE JEALOUS ABOUT, WE JUST DONT WANT TO BE TONE DEATH WHEN WE ARE OLD!!!"
- "gud tune"

So some very eloquent points on both sides of the debate, then.

We have to wonder what exactly is motivating all the hatred, though, since the clip is colorful, BANG ON TREND, and features a generous dollop of Ms. Lloyd's undeniable charisma.  And also a Cheryl Cole drag queen.

Meet your TrannyBingo host - every Thursday night at the Boston Clipper in Northampton.

Whatever the reason no one seems to like it, we're perfectly happy having it be our dirty little secret.  Bring it, haterz. We're off to get our brain amputated.



"I mean...."

We just found our SONG OF THE SUMMER - watch Studio Killers' 'Ode To The Bouncer' now!

Comes with everything you see here.  Just add shirtless boys.

Every year there are many songs that try super duper hard to rise to the top of the rooftop-party heap.  But try as the many might, only one or two tunes can triumph, blasting their fabulousness across the warm and sunny landscape like a speedo-clad glitter cannon.  It's inevitable that some superstars will throw their hat in the ring (Ke$ha, Kylie, Britney, etc.), since having a summer anthem opens the door to a few months of steady sales and appearances on all manner of floats, pier parties and pretty much anywhere else ecstasy can be found, but almost invariably the winner ends up being an absolute surprise to everyone. 

For ScopiSat, this year is no different, as a tune has come out of nowhere, pushed aside K-Mo's 'Put Your Hands Up,' K-Ro's 'What A Feeling,' and even Britney's new jam as the ACTUAL SOUND OF THE SUMMER.  It is by a thing called the Studio Killers and it is AMAZING. 

It's a bittersweet tale - an allegory, if you will - of an average girl who wants nothing more than to get into "the club".  It's got a laid-back vibe that makes it sound effortless, yet has an urgency that will set it apart from the rest of any poolside party playlist. 

Also, the video is RIDICULOUSLY COOL.  It's a bit Gorillaz, but also not at all Gorillaz.  It's raunchy but not disgusting, and if there is anything better in this world than animated boobs bouncing to a eurobreak beat, we've yet to see it.




"Amazing."

The new Joe Jonas video is here and you can watch it right now

Oh hello.

WE HAVE SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE NEW JOE JONAS VIDEO.

They include, but are not limited to, the following:

1.  Why is there a dress hanging on Joe's wall?
2.  Why is there broken stoneware on Joe's floor?  He is Joe Jonas.  He can afford a maid.
3.  WHY IS JOE NOT SHIRTLESS?
4.  How did the dress hanging on Joe's wall spontaneously combust, and has the manufacturer been notified that this is an issue?  More importantly, has the PUBLIC been informed that this is an issue, as we can think of few things more horrific than a pretty young girl, all done up in her nice new frock EXPLODING INTO FLAMES.
5.  Why is a girl dancing in the street?  Is it because she is all done up in her nice new frock and afraid she is going to explode into flames? 
6.  WHY IS JOE NOT SHIRTLESS?
7.  Is the smoke billowing across Mr. Jonas' neighborhood intended to be a message of support to all those in the American southwest who are currently battling out-of-control wildfires, and the thousands who have lost or been forced to abandon their homes and businesses because of them?  If not, did no one think that this could be construed to be in SLIGHTLY BAD TASTE considering that thousands of people have lost or been forced to abandon their homes because of out-of-control wildfires that were probably started by exploding dresses?
8.  WHY IS JOE NOT SHIRTLESS?  We know we keep saying that, but we're not even upset just because we don't get to see him without clothes at all in this video.  We are upset because we don't get to see him without clothes in this video and there is ACTUALLY A GOOD REASON FOR HIM TO BE SHIRTLESS IN THIS VIDEO.  You are in a BURNING HOUSE, Joe.  Take off your clothes, for chrissake. 
9.  Where did Joe get his wall sconces, because we would quite like one.

And so on and so forth.

Coldplay's 'Every Teardrop...' video is a waterfall of color and frivolity - watch now!

This is where pretentiousness comes from.

Despite the fact that he married Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin has managed to maintain favor with us for the sole reason that he churns out some bona fide tunes.  One of those tunes is Coldplay's new single, 'Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall,' which has wowed critics and confused listeners, but also become one of their bigger hits in the US.

Usually our SONGS OF THE SUMMER are tiny balls of poppers-smelling glitter, layered with drum tracks and disco whistles, but 'Teardrop' hops on our warm weather playlist by virtue of it being all soaring and escapist and epic.  Coldplay obviously knew this, because they made a video for the song that is also all of those things.

It's essentially several minutes of a neon seizure.  And it is very good.

Look, here is a thing by David Guetta, Nicki Minaj and Flo-Rida - watch the premiere now

Boobs, brains and....Flo-Rida.

There are times when a headline is wholly inadequate to sum up an entire post.

This is not one of those times.  For here, indeed, is a thing by David Guetta, Nicki Minaj and Flo-Rida.

It is not a bad thing.  It is also not a great thing.  It is, however, a decently adequate thing.  And that is...ok.

The song is a pretty by-the-numbers Guetta affair (as a side note, he is increasingly in danger of having such a notable sound that we will soon be able to say "it's very 'Guetta' " and everyone will just KNOW, much in the way something could once be "very Fatboy Slim," or more recently "very RedOne") which is to say it's your standard well-executed-but-ultimately-average dance track with some impressive guest vocals.  And also Flo-Rida. :(

In keeping with the theme of "alright," the video is your run of the mill THINGS HAPPENING IN LA WITH A CAMERA FILTER ON THEM clip, with a little CGI thrown in because it's a dance video and people who like dance music enjoy that sort of thing.

So no it's not going to set the world aflame, but what we do have here is a solid addition to any playlist and a quite serviceable video for "the clubs."  And we should all quit our bitching and be thankful for that, because THE MUSIC INDUSTRY IS DYING* and in this day and age it's a wonder that we get anything at all.

Ungrateful.

*the music industry is not dying

This new Lady Gaga thing is rather amazing - listen now!

If I was born this way I would qualify for some sort of disability benefit

We admittedly were ambivalent to Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' album, quite preferring her old and less preachy work to it.  But now something has shown up that has made us A LITTLE BIT OBSESSED with it.  It is the remix we have posted below.  It is a mix of ALL OF THE SONGS on the album and it is amazing.  It does wonderful things for each of the songs, and though we are sure some "little monsters" (ED: never use this term again.  ever.) will have us strung up by dinner time, we have no problem saying that we actually prefer the tweaked versions to the album itself.  It's 23 minutes of brilliant pop music all strung together in a genius way.  And it is glorious.


Lady Gaga - Born This Way (Jordan Howe Megamix) by Jordan Howe (jdhmixes)

Nadine Coyle goes for the gays on her new track - listen to the premiere now!

"I'll totally blow you for a top ten single"

What's a former girlband member with a massively underperforming debut single to do?  Go for the gays, of course.

And that's just what Nadine "Girls Aloud" Coyle has done with her new track 'Sweetest High.' 

It's ok.  Which is to say it would have been ok if it was 2004 and you were six drinks and a double-stacked ecstasy pill into the evening. 



It's available tonight on iTunes.  If you're into that sort of thing...