Wait Ke$ha is still flogging that album? 'Sleazy' gets a revamp and release Dec 13

This is what Xtina would look like if she PUT DOWN THE FORK

We kind of forgot about Ke$ha there for a while, which is probably exactly why she is reworking her track 'Sleazy' from her 'Cannibal' album, chucking a few rappers on it and kicking it out of her glittertrash nest on December 13, hoping that it will soar to chart heights rather than splatter on the sidewalk below.

It's a bit of a by-the-numbers move, to be honest.  Hasn't the NOW WITH ADDED RENT-A-RAPPER thing been done enough?  Why, for example, can't she remake it with a didgeridoo band and Yo-Yo Ma, or rerecord it with a nunnery choir or something crazy and unexpected?

BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO AMAZING AND OUR HEADS WOULD EXPLODE, THAT IS WHY.

Anyway, according to the beglittered one herself:

“Get ready to get even $leazier with this sick collaboration I did with 4 of my favorite MCs of all time: Weezy, Andre 3000, Wiz Khalifa, and T.I. I opened the “Get $leazy” tour with this song every night and it always got the party started…Get ready, this is the SICKEST and SLEAZIEST version YET.$.”

Yes.  Let's break that down, shall we.

First, we want to point out that apparently it is mandatory that even Ke$ha's press must include dollar signs, which means that some poor intern (we'll call her Rachel) who pretends to be the star on Twitter has to make 2 extra keystrokes every time an "s" comes up. 

Second, isn't T.I. in jail?  No?  Well whatever he still sucks.

Third, what the hell are you on about, Ke$ha's intern Rachel?  Of course this is the SICKEST and SLEAZIEST version YET.  There has only ever been one version, so it's not like there was a bevy of competition.  Relax.

Fourth, there's an extra dollar sign at the end of whatever that was up there.  Whether it was a mistake or an intentional insertion by Rachel to underscore the ridiculousness of random punctuation, we will never know.  But we like to imagine that somewhere, in a dark broom closet at RCA Records, Rachel sat with her company-owned iPad, and plunged her finger dramatically down on the dollar sign in an act of final, overt defiance, just as she expired from exhaustion and acute Red Bull poisoning.

Here's the album version.  Which is VERY GOOD INDEED but could definitely do with a choir of nuns.

Single Premiere - Ke$ha's duet with Alice Cooper is here and it's ....not terrible

"Look at this old guy I just met...he says his name is Ke$ha.  That's a stupid name."

Ok so here's the thing.  When we heard that Ke$ha was going to be rolling around in a musical mudpit with uber-rocker Alice Cooper we were all *eyeroll*/"oh dear"/"what the hell has this world come to, can't we just have another Kylie album already?". And understandably so.  It sounds terrible, no?

But a snippet (does half the song still count as a snippet?!) of the track has appeared and it is SHOCKINGLY NOT HORRIFIC.  It's nothing spectacular, but it's not a world away from what "a hit" sounds like these days (which is either a good or bad thing depending on whether you're under the age of 15 or not).  As well as the two artists mesh together, it's absolutely clear that this collaboration was the result of some clever marketing, though, and not any organic development of musical rapport - but that's pretty par for the course these days.  You know, because Rihanna, Britney and Nikki are SUCH GOOD FRIENDS.

Getting Ke$ha on his new track may seem like quite a coup for Mr. Cooper:  Ke$ha is coming off her top 10 U.S. hit 'Blow,' while Alice is coming off...well, beta-blockers, probably.  But while on the surface it might seem like Ke$ha's slumming it with a has-been, one can never underestimate the importance of converting 50-year-old tattoo artists into fans.

In any case, whatever marketing deals are behind this duet, we're certainly not hating it. It has a beat and you can dance to it and we're in a recession for chrissake, we can't be picky.

Ke$ha makes one of her best videos for what is easily her worst song - watch 'Blow' now

"Thanks for hiring me but just a heads up, you smell real bad."

What the hell, Ke$ha.

Everyone knows you are a trashy whore with a debilitating fear of bathing facilities, but despite the fact your disease-riddled weave looks like it was dyed with a combo of Clorox and toilet water we've always had your back because your music is undeniably catchy.

UNTIL NOW. 

'Blow' is a ridiculous mess of a song and your odd vocal affectations are doing it ABSOLUTELY NO FAVORS WHATSOEVER.  Furthermore, how it possibly took an army of songwriters and producers to chuck out this garbage is beyond us because a small band of infant gorillas could have crafted a better tune in less time and with less of an entitlement complex about it.  But, once again, we find ourselves crapping all over one aspect of your creative output while being brutally forced to praise another.  Pure crappiness of the song aside, your video for the track is actually kind of cool, albeit in a low-budget schlockfest kind of way, and with the sound down it's very nearly enjoyable to watch. 

The vid is all UNICORNS and LIGHTS and "KE$HA SEXY POSE" and also Jason Van Der Beek for some reason - and even though it has a definite "fifth single from the album" vibe to it, the video is likely the only thing that may save your 'Blow' single campaign from outright disaster.  We know you've become accustomed to life in the upper reaches of the charts as of late, but  come on, let's be honest - even if this garbage was by the Glee cast featuring Justin Bieber, it would still be a push to scrape the top 40.

It's pretty obvious Team Ke$ha are just treading water until your mess of a remix album comes out, so at this point everyone should really just cross their fingers, hold their noses, and pray this song tanks quickly. 


Ke$ha, honey, we're not mad.  We're just disappointed.  

HOW IS THIS A THING

No.

Ke$ha is the new QUEEN OF $OUL in her new video for "We R Who We R" - watch the premiere now

Something truly magical has happened, ScopiSubjects.  And we are all lucky enough to be alive today to witness it.  Thanks to the release of this video coupled with the magic of the interwebs, we will all someday sit in our flying wheelchairs and relate to our children's children just where we were when we first saw Ke$ha look GOOD.

We know you are doubtful.  We know this throws your worldview into pandemonium.  But it's true.  Someone - somehow - convinced everyone's favorite louse-house to shower and put on some makeup that didn't come from Avril Lavigne's garbage bin, and we hate to say it but the girl scrubs up pretty damn good.  Sure it's in a totally Eurotrash way, and - in this video, at least - as soon as you get past the fact she is wearing deodorant you are suddenly struck with the stark reality that Ke$ha CANNOT DANCE, MOVE, OR MAKE A CONVINCING FACIAL EXPRESSION TO SAVE HER LIFE, but if this girl is going to keep assaulting our consciousness with tunes we'll take any improvement we can get.

The clip itself is super sparkly and such - it starts with an ACTUAL BIG BANG, symbolizing either the "beginning of life and the universe," or "how Ke$ha got a record deal" (see what we did there) depending on your interpretation, and then flashes (quite literally) into a by-the-numbers trip to THE CLUB and THE STREETS.

We're still not loving the song, and we still think she probably smells like cat pee up close, but in the interest of positive reinforcement we would like to say:

"THANK YOU KE$HA, FOR TAKING A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.  Here is an award for showering" 

"We R Who We R" is out now in the US and elsewhere, and will be released January 11 in the UK.

Ke$ha says 'Your Love Is My Drug' in new video - watch the premiere now!

One of ScopiSat's golden pop rules is "the less said about Ke$ha the better" but - fair warning - we're going to break it today.  The Unwashed One has a new video out for 'Your Love Is My Drug,' and it's actually....watchable.  The world isn't going to stop spinning and we're still not going to excuse her obvious aversion to bathing, but could this signal a new era in ScopiSat's relationship with Ke$ha?  Stay tuned.  We know you are dying to find out.

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Today we ask ourselves why music isn't as good as it used to be - watch the video showdown now

We were just thinking last night that music before was way better than music now, and for today's post decided to put that theory to the test.  The best way to do this is obvious: arbitrarily pick a shit song from today and a brilliant song from before and post them in some kind of EPIC THROWDOWN FOR THE AGES.   



 VERSUS



Case closed. 

Ke$ha confronts the 'Blah Blah Blah' in new video

We have just watched a new video by Ke$ha.  If you don't know, Ke$ha is a singer (sort of) who dresses like a homeless person and is here to SAVE POP MUSIC by using text-speak and putting symbols where letters should be.

The new video, for her upcoming single 'Blah Blah Blah' is banging around the internet but we can't get it to embed because an intern in the IT department of Ke$ha's label did something horribly, horribly wrong.  Anyhow, it's nothing to write home about so if you were considering hunting it down in the wilds of the interwebs we will save you the trouble:

In the video a greasy young woman duct tapes a very attractive man's mouth shut and then watches a someone with guyliner and a fashion mullet play the guitar.  There are some lazily choreographed 'dance moves' and some hand movements and all the while there is music. 

Then the rap bit comes in and we all lose interest and then it ends. 

There.  That's three minutes of your life we have saved you.  Unless you are a very slow reader (I'm looking at you, American public school system) in which case we have only saved you two.

If you still want to watch it, here it is finally:


***Worldwide viewers can still watch at the link below

EDIT:  Also Ke$ha is bad at bowling

EDIT 2:  The video is only out in the UK and has been blocked elsewhere, so if you're in Great Britain or can fool your computer into thinking you are, you may watch the video HERE

Taio Cruz and Ke$ha send a 'Dirty Picture' (clip)

Here is a song about sending pornographic images to a person using a mobile phone. It is a rave-up vocorder 'anthem' and sounds a lot like it is going to be very good but we will reserve judgment until a higher quality clip comes out. 



You'll notice that people from Radio 1 speak over the top.  Do not be alarmed.  This is not a part of the song.   As the voices explain, they are speaking over the top so that the song does not get ripped and end up on a blog or something.  Mission accomplished, guys. 

Ke$ha's 'Tik Tok' video

So new pop 'sensation' has her first video out. Well, her first not counting a random appearance in Katy Perry's 'I Kissed A Girl' clip for no reason. The song is still pretty good and any video in which the star walks around in one cowboy boot for a full 33 seconds is alright by us...

Free Ke$ha track ALERT

A few days ago we went on and on about Ke$ha's new track 'Tik Tok' and how it was life changing and blah blah. Now YOU TOO may own this track! All you have to do is go to Ke$ha's website at www.keshasparty.com and enter your details and BAM you can download the song for FREE. Free is a frightening concept for some because generally cost is indicative of worth. However in this instance ScopiSat can assure you that 'free' does not mean 'absolute crap' and in fact this instance of free is a very good thing. Need we remind you that we are in a recession?


In case you forgot what the song sounded like, listen to this while Ke$ha stares through you with her eye.


Update: So Ke$ha...maybe you get a manicure while we're all downloading your song...?

Ke$ha has Twittered about a new song and it is AMAZING

See above.