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| "Thanks for hiring me but just a heads up, you smell real bad." |
Everyone knows you are a trashy whore with a debilitating fear of bathing facilities, but despite the fact your disease-riddled weave looks like it was dyed with a combo of Clorox and toilet water we've always had your back because your music is undeniably catchy.
UNTIL NOW.
'Blow' is a ridiculous mess of a song and your odd vocal affectations are doing it ABSOLUTELY NO FAVORS WHATSOEVER. Furthermore, how it possibly took an army of songwriters and producers to chuck out this garbage is beyond us because a small band of infant gorillas could have crafted a better tune in less time and with less of an entitlement complex about it. But, once again, we find ourselves crapping all over one aspect of your creative output while being brutally forced to praise another. Pure crappiness of the song aside, your video for the track is actually kind of cool, albeit in a low-budget schlockfest kind of way, and with the sound down it's very nearly enjoyable to watch.
The vid is all UNICORNS and LIGHTS and "KE$HA SEXY POSE" and also Jason Van Der Beek for some reason - and even though it has a definite "fifth single from the album" vibe to it, the video is likely the only thing that may save your 'Blow' single campaign from outright disaster. We know you've become accustomed to life in the upper reaches of the charts as of late, but come on, let's be honest - even if this garbage was by the Glee cast featuring Justin Bieber, it would still be a push to scrape the top 40.
It's pretty obvious Team Ke$ha are just treading water until your mess of a remix album comes out, so at this point everyone should really just cross their fingers, hold their noses, and pray this song tanks quickly.
Ke$ha, honey, we're not mad. We're just disappointed.
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