Shakira goes 'Loca' in new video with Dizzee Rascal - watch the premiere now!

Ah, Shakira.  So talented.  So beautiful.  So ESL. 

Shakira has been one of ScopiSat's favorite artists since her actually-quite-incredible album 'Donde Los Ladrones' entered our lives in 1998.  Sure there have been a few ups ('Wherever, Whenever') and downs ('Hips Don't Lie' but we wish they would sometimes) but through everything she's done we've been at least tentatively on board.

Well the unnaturally blond one has launched another single, by the name of 'Loca.'  We always thought "loca" meant "crazy," but the interwebs are under the impression that the phrase "es una loca" means "he's a real queen," or, that "loca" means, simply, "whore."  So......do with that what you will.

'Loca' features Dizzee Rascal (alright) and was produced by Pitbull (horriffic) but actually turned out to be quite a tune.  Check out the clip and let us know what you think:


SHAKIRA : LOCA (2010) OFFICIAL VIDEO
Uploaded by artemis181. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Out now for download. 

Kylie tells Radio One to 'Get Outta My Way,' performs 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head' and covers Hurts - HQ MP3 download links!!!

Kylie took over Radio One's Live Lounge - an acoustic live show on, well, Radio One - yesterday, and while some artists crash and burn under the pressure of having to ACTUALLY SING LIVE, K-Mo seemed absolutely in her element.  There's a reason she is Princess of Everything Everywhere, and this is it.  Because we are so awesome, we've decided to give you some links to download high quality radio rips of the three songs she performed - brand new single 'Get Outta My Way,' a cover of Hurts' 'Wonderful Life,' and an absolutely epic rendition of her signature hit 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head.' 


Get Outta My Way (Radio One Live Acoustic)
Wonderful Life (Radio One Live Acoustic)
Can't Get You Out Of My Head (Radio One Live Acoustic)

You're welcome.

Jamiroquai take us on a 'White Knuckle Ride' in new video - watch the premiere now!

Jamiroquai are the kind of post-disco-house-party band that we always wished would come to our parties but never did because they found ACTUAL SUCCESS.  As a band they have straddled the fine line between poppy and credible for a number of years, and every so often they deliver a break-through hit that sets the charts afire.

This is also the band that gave us one of the defining music videos of a generation - 'Virtual Insanity,' with its ever-shifting walls and weird blood-floor for NO REASON - so its fair to say they have a high standard to live up to with new single 'White Knuckle Ride.'  Unfortunately, ScopiSubjects, they kind of dropped the ball on this one.  Sure, it's not terrible, but it's essentially some high-def video of a helicopter flying around the desert, halfheartedly chasing a car that is offroading even though it is clearly not designed to do so.  Nothing really happens, but the song itself is rather nice.

 
Jamiroquai - White Knuckle Ride
Uploaded by jamiroquai-france. - Explore more music videos.

A solid 6/10 seems appropriate.  Now everyone go buy Kylie's 'Get Outta My Way' so it doesn't become the epic flop it is threatening to be.

Glee does Britney - listen to some Glitney tracks now!

We're just going to come out and say it.  We hate Glee.  Not the idea, no, and we actually loved the first couple episodes.  It was biting, satirical and - most importantly - it told a compelling story.  Since then, however, it's devolved into a messy hour long commercial for the music it churns out.  At this point it's pretty clear that the "men upstairs" just decide what super great songs they want to rape, and then shoehorn the plot around them while a bunch of 32 year-olds dance around pretending they are promiscuous teenagers with biologically autotuned voiceboxes.

That said, a Britney episode is coming up and that is AMAZING.  Why, you ask?  Because it is BRITNEY. 

Here's a preview of what tracks we can expect to hear:



The Britney episode airs Tuesday at 9 EST on FOX

Prepare to watch the most amazing piece of crap you've ever seen

This is a band called Mmadcatz, singing something called 'Puppets' and it contains the best inter-band high-five in pop video history at 2:20.

It is a song about puppets that neither cry nor die and is absolutely terrifying in terms of both subject matter and execution but is also PHENOMENAL for a number of inarticulable reasons. 



You're welcome.

Is anyone else a bit sick of Lady Gaga pontificating?

....Just us then?



We get it.  Gaga's a huge star.  She has sold millions of records and holds the rapt attention of millions of gay hipsters the world over.  And to be fair what she's advocating in this video is quite a good thing - we here at ScopiSat are staunchly against Don't Ask, Don't Tell (we are a pop blog for chrissake).  But something about this video just rubs us the wrong way...

Maybe it's that she "addresses" it to specific members of the Senate of the United States of America, before "educating" them on what, exactly, Don't Ask, Don't Tell is.  Because, as members of the US Senate, they clearly don't know.

Maybe it's the SUPER SERIOUS voice she puts on while reading her script.

Maybe it's the (actually quite good looking) lip injections she CLEARLY had.

Or maybe we just need a break from the Lady for just a bit.

In any case, she got a lot of people talking about Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and regardless of how she did it, we're appreciative of that.  And let's not forget she showed up to the MTV Awards with a bunch of discharged gay servicemembers.  And gives (a lot of) money to (a lot of) great causes.  And in all actuality the rest of the video past the 2:00 mark is kind of good.   But still....

Let's just avoid the "talking down to elected officials" thing, shall we?

A rational discussion about Cheryl Cole's 'Promise This' video premiere

F*CKING BRILLIANT




Ok for real though.  It's super nice to see Cheryl ditch the faux-urban mess of the last album and embrace the pure pop cultivated by her stint with Girls Aloud.  If there's one thing history has taught us, it's that pop artists should never, ever go "street" to try to stay relevant (we're looking at you, Ricky Martin's 'I Don't Care') and Cheryl, thankfully, looks to be sidestepping that pit of despair and chart humiliation.

After an epic bout with Malaria that essentially stalled her career in its tracks for a few months, Cheryl needed a smash and it looks like she may have turned one out.  'Promise This' is the rare pop record that is literally QUITE WEIRD but also VERY AMAZING at the same time, and the video mimics that odd but glorious energy.  It's a sort of 90's-dancing-meets-ballet-and-high-fashion-at-an-art-school-student-showcase affair, but against all the odds, it actually works.

With Cheryl set to be a judge the forthcoming American version of 'X Factor' (you know, because she has lots of experience being SUPER SUCCESSFUL in America), things certainly are looking up after the wobbly start of her debut solo album.  Not commercially, of course - it was by all accounts a huge smash - but the whole project was ridiculously divisive amongst critics, 'the blogs' and, most importantly, the fans.  This time around, though, looks like this is one 'Promise' Cheryl can keep.  (Yes.  See what we did there?)



'Promise This' is out Oct. 24, followed by her album 'Messy Little Raindrops' Nov. 1 in the UK.  A US release is set to follow (HRNK!!!)

Sheryl and Justin Timberlake want to 'Sign Your Name' - watch the video premiere now!

We kind of forgot about Sheryl Crow...not in a completely off-the-radar kind of way, because she's always turning up on some tragic magazine like InStyle or that little thing printed on super cheap paper they give away free at the pharmacy counter that always has a name like 'LIVING NOW' or 'VIBRANT LIFE' or something, but we've more forgotten her in an "oh yeah she makes music too" way.

We know we're not the only ones in this boat, and we have a sneaking suspicion Sheryl knows too.  To remedy the situation, she's teamed up with the one and only Justin Timberlake to redo the classic (really?) Terence Trent D’Arby track 'Sign Your Name.'  It's a little...underwhelming...but perfectly nice, we suppose.  The video, however, looks a bit like something Bonnie Raitt would have done 15 years ago if she had become an alcoholic and couldn't be bothered anymore.  There's nothing obviously offensive about it, it's just a bit naff - something Justin's "people" must have picked up on, because he is NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.  You can kind of tell he's on backing vocals in the track, but anyone scouring the video for his adorable mug will be sorely disappointed. 

Ah well, back to the 'HEALTHY LIFESTYLE' cover then, Sher.

Kelly Rowland's 'Rose Colored Glasses' finally gets a VERY GOOD video - watch the premiere now!

Let's talk for a second about Kelly Rowland (pictured above being "fierce").  Doesn't it feel like ages since Kelly's 'Rose Colored Glasses' got sort-of-but-not-really released in the U.S.?  It should, because it HAS BEEN.  It has been out for download since June (!!) but is just now getting a video for some reason.  Let's take a look at the things that have happened since then:

1.  The war in Iraq ended*
2.  ScopiSat got a total of 5 hair cuts and found 2 gray hairs
3.  Lindsay Lohan went to jail and then got out again
4.  'Inception' made $300 million dollars

    * - but not really


Also, in that time, 'Rose Colored Glasses' was played about 12 times on the radio and sold about 6 copies, giving it a not-so-healthy play/sales ratio of 2:1.  So what's a Destiny's Child member who isn't Beyonce to do?  Throw money at the problem, of course.  And what better way to do that than hiring a VERY BIG director and some top-notch makeup people?   

Shot by Rankin - the man behind one of our favorite videos of the last year, Sky Ferreira's 'One' - 'Rose' is all HIGH FASHION and BOOBS and BIRDS FOR SOME REASON and therefore is GOOD.  (On a side note, white birds seem to be very 'in' this year, what with Kylie's 'All The Lovers' etc.)  It may be a coincidence the clip is premiering during Fashion Week, but regardless, it's very appropriate timing.  Kelly looks incredible and seems to be coming into her own as far as her image is concerned.

 Good job, K-Ro.  



PS the video is in 3D for some reason.

Some notes about last night's MTV VMA's - discuss

So the MTV Video Music Awards happened last night.  As predicted, Lady Gaga won everything and was pretentious the whole time, and a bunch of people performed for too long and a few performed not long enough.  Some notes:

1.  Rihanna was wearing Madonna's old clothes from the 80's and only had to take them in a couple inches
2.  Kanye West is still a douchebag
3.  Taylor Swift still thinks Kanye West is a douchebag
4.  Linkin Park has no business being on the MTV Awards
5.  On second thought, Linkin Park is actually perfect for the MTV Awards because both are now COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT
6.  Robyn's 40 seconds of screen time was HANDS DOWN better than the entire rest of the show in aggregate
7.  Usher still has a sick body even if his face is busted

The end.

Our new obsession is Die Antwoord - prepare to be very very confused

Sometimes things are good.  Sometimes things are bad.  Sometimes things are so bad they are good, or vice versa, and sometimes things are so TERRIFYINGLY STRANGE that they defy any categorization whatsoever and explode your brain into a fine white powder that Ke$ha would pay a lot of good money for.

This is the latter.  The Ke$ha cokewhore one.  It is a thing called Die Antwoord and it is South African, but not in a 'District 9' mainstream-y way.  More in a "some people in the southernmost reaches of the African continent are BATSHIT INSANE and have made a music video that defies all coherent thought" way. 

The group has put out a couple tracks (notably, one called 'Fish Paste') but this particular gem of mental instability is called 'Enter The Ninja' - Ninja being the name of the lead male rapper, and thus a QUITE CLEVER play on the phrase if they do say so themselves.  It is quite literally stunning, in that one can't help but sit in an uneasy stupor for several full minutes after watching the clip, but there's a raw (crazy) and obvious (crazy) talent there that suggests we might be hearing a lot more from these guys.

Enrique Iglesias and Nicole Scherzinger have a 'Heartbeat' together - watch the video now!

Enrique Iglesias has become somewhat of a mainstay on the music scene, having been knocking around the charts off and on for over a decade in the US, and nearly 20 years in the Spanish speaking world.  Not so for Nicole Scherzinger, however, as her much-hyped solo career never really took off.  Originally launched by the famous-for-their-singing-talent girlgroup Pussycat Dolls, Nicole struck out on the solo path in 2007 and struck out quite literally on the charts.  None (seriously, not a single one) of her solo singles have charted in the U.S., and the best her collaboration with Will.i.am could muster was a middling #14 in the UK.

Speaking of Will.i.am, one can't help but feel that 'Heartbeat' is a bit of a rip off of his song with Cheryl Cole, '3 Words,' off her debut solo album.  Both have a similar vibe and male-female mix, and both are well on the right side of VERY GOOD.

The video itself is pretty simple, albeit with some big-budget lighting tricks having to do with hearts and beats and heartbeats and such.  It's adequately cool without blowing the doors off the place, but coupled with the song should help Enrique sustain his 'I Like It' momentum and give Scherzinger her very first US chart placing. 

Rihanna is ACTUALLY BACK with a BLAZING new single - listen to 'Only Girl' now in full!

Rihanna's brooding and challenging 'Rated R' experiment worked out about as well as Kylie's 'X' did (ie NOT VERY WELL AT ALL), proving that regardless of how big a star you are, naming your album based on a letter is just a stupid idea.  Sure it sold decently, but it moved nowhere near the numbers expected.  Worse, it tarnished the Rihanna brand a bit, as she had always been known for her 'jamz' and such.

Well all that mess is behind her, Proper Rihanna is back with a brand new single called 'Only Girl.'  It is dancy, anthemic and has "smash" written all over it with Dr. Pepper Bonne Bell lip gloss, and we couldn't be more pleased.  It's just the thing RiRi needed to give her career a kick and remind the casual listener just why she's such a huge superstar in the first place.

'Rated R' wasn't an outright disaster, of course, and it will add a certain credibility to her career from here on out (which is likely exactly why it was released), but much like Kelly Clarkson, whose 'My December' was also all dark and angsty and met with tepid sales, Rihanna's post-downer-period is shaping up to be her best.  It just goes to show, a pop star is never better than when they're on the comeback trail.




Welcome back, RiRi.

Girls Aloud's Nadine Coyle is 'Insatiable' in debut solo single - listen now!

Well that didn't take long, did it? 

It's been a full year since Girls Aloud announced their "one year" hiatus, and it's been about two full lifetimes since member Nadine Coyle (who has the enviable honor of being "the hot one" in a band consisting entirely of very, very "hot ones") announced her solo plans.  Accordingly, it came as quite a shock to us when we found out this whole "career launch" thing is going to ACTUALLY HAPPEN, and it nearly killed us when we learned a healthy snippet of Coyle's debut single 'Insatiable' had surfaced.  It's a rocking showcase for Nadine's vocals that chugs along with a fair amount of swagger  Like Coyle herself it's all sultry and seductive, and while it doesn't exactly shout "NUMBER ONE SMASH" from the rooftops, we're sure the song (and what is sure to be a steamy video) is going to make quite a few boys into men. 



The album and single are out in November on grocery store chain Tesco's new record label (?!)

Let's all take a look at how the Katy Perry album did, shall we? (Hint: NOT VERY WELL)

We here at ScopiSat have mixed feelings about Miss Perry and the ridiculous things she says/wears/does/has sex with, and apparently the record-buying public does as well. 

Just a week ago, "industry insiders" and the like were championing Katy Perry's new LP 'Teenage Dream' as one of the sure-fire can't-misses of the year.  Accordingly, her label EMI shipped a million physical copies to retailers all over the country, in the standard practice of shipping twice the product you expect to sell the first week out.  Analysts had predicted anywhere between 400,000 and 700,000 sales, so the million unit shipment would be about right on.

Well, we're guessing some of those analysts will be serving you your double tall mocha capp with no whip at Starbucks next week, because Miss Perry's first week album sales came in at....wait for it... 192,000.  Now, keep in mind this includes about 35,000 digital downloads of the long-play, meaning that out of those million units sent to shops, about 160,000 were sold.  That is.... less than spectacular.

It's a shame on one hand, because the album has some great moments on it.  On the other hand it's actually a perfect outcome - an album that is half good sold half of the projection.

Kylie's 'Get Outta My Way' video is SPECTACULAR - watch the full leaked video now!!

So Kylie had this big plan to premiere her new video tomorrow at 11am BST, but as most things of these sort tend to do it all went tits up and the clip has landed on the interwebs in its entirety.  She's probably not worried though, because it is ACTUALLY BALLS TO THE WALL BRILLIANT.  And not in that "we love everything Kylie does" kind of way because lets face it she's done a few mediocre things.  'Get Outta My Way,' however, is in no way mediocre.  It's what Lady Gaga might do if she had an ounce of restraint, and what Madonna would do if she could still move without a walker. 

There are LIGHTS and DANCING and WATER and some EPIC FINGERNAILS. 

Your new favorite popstar is Ed Drewett. Here is a song by him. You're welcome.

Ed Drewett is "up and coming" in that way that someone on a blog somewhere said he is "up and coming" and so he is already more famous than most people can hope to be in their lifetime.   He is also "up and coming" in the way that he hasn't had a hit or anything yet, but many people in the know are guessing this debut track 'Champagne Lemonade' is poised to change that.  It's got a very "now" sound about it, with electronic squiggles and effects somehow melding with a more organic sound.  It's sort of what a hipster discotheque on poppers would sound like if hipsters liked decent music and could afford to go to clubs.  In a totally good way.

Drewett - who is obviously quite objectionable, physically - is "tastemaker" Popjustice's number 1 pick on their sort of arbitrary and irregularly updated "PJ Almighty," thereby automatically placing him among the lofty ranks of SMASH HIT ARTISTS such as Dollyrockers, Same Difference (who have a new single we may soon tell you about, funnily enough), and Frankmusik.  Don't ring a bell?  Well if you want to remind yourselves, take a trip down to your local grocer where you can see any one of the aforementioned artists happily bagging up your baked beans and dandruff shampoo as they hum to themselves the tunes that made them the HUGE STARS that they are today. 

How about we don't let that happen to this one, alright?



"Alright."


...and yeah, we'd totally do him too.