Madonna is FIFTY ONE: a somber tribute

As the title says, Mantis-Arms turns quite old today. It's a bit shocking when one realizes an icon that defined youth and culture for generations (no really, like three of them) is so...advanced. Madonna's been pulled, peeled, tucked and worked out, and keeps focusing on her new tunes like they will somehow save her from age or irrelevance, but there's something inherently misguided in that. It's those classic tunes and iconic moments that are themselves eternal in a way that an individual can never be. I suppose there's something to be said for avoiding nostalgia, but no one wants to see an old lady try to be hip. They want to see a wise woman recognize that she is the sum of all that she has done before. It seems like her new greatest hits, 'Celebration' may be a step in that direction. If 'Hard Candy' was mutton dressed as lamb, this new Madonna has the chance to be the iconic equivalent of an aged wine - wisdom, knowledge and experience are the stewing sugars and acids of a pop career. A cheap, young wine is alright to chug and forget, but rare vintage is something to truly be savored.
Yes, today is the day that Madonna-mantis entered the world, and ScopiSat is all about respecting our elders so here is a rundown of some reasons we still love her:



1. Because she sang 'True Blue'

2. Because she's made some quite good videos

3. Because she has said she will quit acting

4. Because she sang 'You'll See,' which remains a CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED 90's ballad

5. Because her rock-out performance of 'Burning Up' at the Re-invention Tour made it almost worth the £120 we paid to see a speck hopping around on a stage for 2 hours

6. Because she paved the way for modern female sexuality
6.5 Because the Sex book was actually quite well done and included VANILLA ICE

7. Because she gave the gays someone to love who didn't sing showtunes (Evita doesn't count because ScopiSat refuses to acknowledge the existence of Andrew Lloyd Weber)

8. Because she did the whole 'Like A Prayer' album

9. Because in five years' time, Lourdes is going to knock the Pop Queen tiara off Lady Gaga and put out some PHENOMENAL future-disco

10. Because she pioneered the new music business model and made a gajillion dollars

11. Because her old band Emmy and the Emmys could kick the pants off most of today's indies

12. Because she did the whole 'Ray of Light' album

13. Because if we didn't we fear she might have us killed :(

Lest we forget, the lady can sell a song: