So the Rebecca Black thing happened and it's out there and that's just something that we have to deal with, each in our own way. Some of us will drink, some will turn to baby Jesus. Others (us) will spend hours on YouTube looking for some sliver of hope that quality pop music is still alive. And perhaps, if they are lucky, they will come across THIS.
It is by a thing called HyunA and it is Korean. From the South, not the North, of course. Though if Kim Jong Il devised this video as a plan to distract the globe while his malnourished hordes of sensibly dressed civilian armies looted our Wal*Marts we would have to hand it to him, because it is QUITE DIVERTING INDEED.
If you have any doubt that this is one of the finest female-led music videos in recent history, we ask only that you watch "the breakdown" that occurs from 2:15 to about 2:45, since there are not enough ways we could sassily misspell "work" to adequately describe the "bitch-I-will-slice-your-tit-while-I-steal-your-man" ferociousness that spews out of this woman in a span of 30 seconds.
Our current play count for the video stands at 6 for the day, but it's only that low because our phone died and we couldn't watch it on the subway.
On a side note: people on the 1 train during morning rush hour are not very accommodating when faced with maniacal shouts of "WHO HERE KNOWS BUBBLE POP AND HAS INTERNET ACCESS."
For a surprisingly small amount of money my dancers will totally get with you
Faint of heart, be warned: Due to our unbridled excitement this article contains a high density of THINGS WRITTEN IN CAPITAL LETTERS.
Before the weekend started and everyone went to go see Harry Potter, Leona Lewis put out a song. It was a very good song and we were instantly obsessed with it as evinced by our utter carpetbombing of Facebook with posts like "ACTUALLY AMAZING" and "THE NEW LEONA LEWIS IS PHENOMBALLZ," etc.
But now something even better has happened. It is the Afrojack remix of the ACTUALLY AMAZING AND PHENOMBALLZ LEONA LEWIS SONG. And it is incredible. It is the kind of remix that makes everyone in "the club" throw their beglittered hands in the air, scream at the top of their lungs, dance suggestively and then make a series of questionable life choices. In short, it is an ideal club track and we ABSOLUTELY APPROVE.
"I don't bleed love anymore, I bleed AMAZING DANCE TUNES"
EVERYONE STOP EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Leona Lewis has done a PROPER DANCE SONG and it works terrifyingly well. It is called 'Collide' and it has a sort of classic-but-completely-new vibe to it. There are no insane frills (Gaga) or overblown singing runs for no reason (Xtina). It's just a brilliant tune through and through that doesn't pull any punches or pretend it's something it's not. There's an almost tribal backing vocal sound that gives the track an organic, warm vibe, and the production is smooth but not overwraught. It's essentially what an UNPRETENTIOUS POP DIVA SMASH should sound like and in short it is AMAZING.
Leona's one of those people we didn't really realize we missed, but goddamn, Miss Lewis. Welcome the f back.
We enjoy 'Moves Like Jagger.' Let's get that out of the way now. But we certainly don't think it's the BRILLIANT PIECE OF POP MUSIC that some of our friends are making it out to be. It's nothing groundbreaking and - as evinced by the fact that everyone's already kind of forgotten about it - it's nothing that people will particularly remember in a few months' time.
The video, on the other hand, is going to be AMAZING. Why? Because ADAM LEVINE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF IN IT. Also Christina looks thin. So you know they dropped a wad of money on post-production cause making someone look skinny when they DEFINITELY AREN'T is not cheap.
Here's the preview. In which ADAM LEVINE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF. In case we didn't mention that.
Demi Lovato's new single is currently the number 1 download on iTunes in the US, so there's no use in debating whether it is good or bad or in between because it is obviously quite popular regardless. What we can talk about is the video, which for whatever reason comes off as a weird companion piece to ex Joe Jonas' recently released clip.
Both feature BROODING EMOTIONAL WRECKS OF HUMAN BEINGS and also SMOKE and THE DESERT. Joe at least had some eye candy and neat camera work in his, but Demi's comes off a little... budget. We get it, you probably spent a lot on rehab, Demi, but come on. This is your big comeback. You could have at least thrown in a dance break or a guy pouring milk over himself in a convertible.
We are obsessed with Sound of Arrows. They are kind of a modern day Enigma but hipper and a bit more pop. Which means they are amazing.
We first fell in love with them after they put out 'Into The Clouds' last year, which is basically the exact track you'd want your friends to play if you were having a really bad LSD trip and needed to CHILL THE F*CK OUT, YOU GUYS, I'M SERIOUS but also the kind of track that, when pumped through some ridiculously oversized hipster headphones, makes a nice stroll down the street infinitely nicer. Though they've been relatively quiet since (their major label debut, buzz single 'Nova', didn't chart), our excitement over the Swedish duo's work hasn't faded. AND RIGHTLY SO.
Their new track 'Magic' continues their streak of brilliant tunes, but ups the stakes by pairing it with an unexpectedly gorgeous short film. And gorgeous really is the word for the whole project. The song sounds like nothing that's out there right now, the film looks like nothing that's out there right now (think the Narnia film series if they used a lot more pink and also were, you know, GOOD) and the whole vibe of the project is just really super awesome and stuff.
The track is out August 1st and the video looks like this:
Will Young has seen the music industry from just about every angle in his ten years on the scene. He won the first Pop Idol over in the UK, long before American Idol even existed, and arguably was the first poster child of the reality-show driven music world we currently live in. That fact makes him either a villain or a hero, or an unsuspecting pawn in a game no one could have expected to go on so long, but really that's neither here nor there because IT HAS HAPPENED and we just have to deal with the fact that millions of people tried to make Ruben Studdard a star.
Anyhoodle, Will was instantly huge, only to be famously overshadowed by the runner up of the show, Gareth Gates, after a few months. But while taking a back seat to Mr. Gates and his ridiculous dimples for a couple singles, William was busy penning what would go on to be one of the defining British albums of the noughties. He cranked out singles like 'Leave Right Now' and 'Your Game,' winning accolades and - surprisingly - artistic credibility along the way. Suddenly WiYo was back on top and a bona fide superstar.
Over the next few years Will came out as a gay man (to the shock of everyone no one), and chucked out some of the finest tunes to have graced the radio waves. Then all of a sudden he wasn't really popular anymore because his songs weren't that catchy, and then he did a video about getting pregnant and everything got kind of awkward. Which is where we are now.
Suffice it to say, Will's been up and down and has SEEN SOME THINGS in his time in "the business," but all that experience looks to have paid off as he gears up for his big, spectacular comeback.
It kicks off with brand new single 'Jealousy,' which at first listen is a huge departure from Young's earlier adult contemporary-ish output, but is actually just an electro'd up version of the melodic pop he's always done. It's simple yet perfectly executed, understated yet moving, and most importantly, is VERY VERY GOOD.
The single got its first play on Monday and is already being hailed by "the blogs" and also people who read "the blogs" so you know it's the real deal. But if you have any doubt, why don't you all just take a listen for yourself:
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