Vanessa Amorosi's new video is kind of great - watch 'Gossip' now!

My bangs do not suit my facial structure.

Let's have a chat about Vanessa Amorosi for a second, shall we?

First of all, we thought she was like, 45 or something, since her last couple videos made her look like one of those moms-of-four who are "pretty" but are a bit worse for wear.  HOWEVER THIS IS NOT THE CASE.  She is 27, you guys.  Twenty-seven.

Anyway, weird anti-aging failure aside, she's had a pretty good go of it all things considered.  After all, she's clawed her faux-ginger ass all the way up the Australian pop ladder from nothing to something and managed to achieve solid C-list status. 

We first fell in love with her back in 2000 when she put out the BONA FIDE JAM 'Absolutely Everybody' (which really should have been titled 'Absolutely Everybody Who Is Gay Or A Teenage Girl' because let's be honest not one other person enjoyed that song) and then she did some stuff not even the homos cared about, but she's experienced somewhat of a renaissance of late.

She scored her first Australian #1 back in '09 with the lead single from her fourth album, and has maintained a relatively high profile since.  And we have a feeling that 'Gossip' will continue her winning streak, since it's actually pretty alright.  The track is a rock-lite dancy thing, with all sorts of hip references to "the facebooks" and "the tweetings" and such.  It's probably supposed to be a scathing commentary on social media and how we're all just weird impersonal walking robots now, but in reality it's just a straight up good pop song.

And the video.  Oh, the video.  It's sort of "gothic house party," sort of "Addams Family Gone Wild," but thanks to some clever camera tricks and the adorable Miss Amorosi it is a little bit amazing. In a sort of B-list "this will do" way.

Which, if you'll remember, is actually a step up for her. So good job, 'nessa.


Vanessa Amorosi - Gossip from Elahn Zetlin on Vimeo.

This song will take over your life - watch HyunA's 'Bubble Pop' now

YES.

So the Rebecca Black thing happened and it's out there and that's just something that we have to deal with, each in our own way.  Some of us will drink, some will turn to baby Jesus.  Others (us) will spend hours on YouTube looking for some sliver of hope that quality pop music is still alive.  And perhaps, if they are lucky, they will come across THIS.

It is by a thing called HyunA and it is Korean.  From the South, not the North, of course.  Though if Kim Jong Il devised this video as a plan to distract the globe while his malnourished hordes of sensibly dressed civilian armies looted our Wal*Marts we would have to hand it to him, because it is QUITE DIVERTING INDEED.

If you have any doubt that this is one of the finest female-led music videos in recent history, we ask only that you watch "the breakdown" that occurs from 2:15 to about 2:45, since there are not enough ways we could sassily misspell "work" to adequately describe the "bitch-I-will-slice-your-tit-while-I-steal-your-man" ferociousness that spews out of this woman in a span of 30 seconds.

Our current play count for the video stands at 6 for the day, but it's only that low because our phone died and we couldn't watch it on the subway.

On a side note: people on the 1 train during morning rush hour are not very accommodating when faced with maniacal shouts of "WHO HERE KNOWS BUBBLE POP AND HAS INTERNET ACCESS."



OBSESSED.

Sign of the Apocalypse #12 - The new Rebecca Black thing is actually happening

For her sins have reached unto heaven, and God hath remembered her iniquities.

A recent conversation we had with a British person about Rebecca Black:

Them: So 'Friday' was like, a joke, right?
Us: No.
Them: Ok but THIS song is.  Because she's all "in on it" now right?
Us:  No.
Them: My god.

Here is Rebecca Black's 'My Moment.'

THE LEONA-LANCHE CONTINUES - here is a VERY GOOD REMIX of 'Collide'

For a surprisingly small amount of money my dancers will totally get with you

Faint of heart, be warned:  Due to our unbridled excitement this article contains a high density of THINGS WRITTEN IN CAPITAL LETTERS.  

Before the weekend started and everyone went to go see Harry Potter, Leona Lewis put out a song.  It was a very good song and we were instantly obsessed with it as evinced by our utter carpetbombing of Facebook with posts like "ACTUALLY AMAZING" and "THE NEW LEONA LEWIS IS PHENOMBALLZ," etc.

But now something even better has happened.  It is the Afrojack remix of the ACTUALLY AMAZING AND PHENOMBALLZ LEONA LEWIS SONG.  And it is incredible.  It is the kind of remix that makes everyone in "the club" throw their beglittered hands in the air, scream at the top of their lungs, dance suggestively and then make a series of questionable life choices.  In short, it is an ideal club track and we ABSOLUTELY APPROVE.

IT'S POPPERS-O'CLOCK: THIS IS THE NEW LEONA LEWIS AND IT IS AMAZING

"I don't bleed love anymore, I bleed AMAZING DANCE TUNES"

EVERYONE STOP EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

Leona Lewis has done a PROPER DANCE SONG and it works terrifyingly well.  It is called 'Collide' and it has a sort of classic-but-completely-new vibe to it.  There are no insane frills (Gaga) or overblown singing runs for no reason (Xtina).  It's just a brilliant tune through and through that doesn't pull any punches or pretend it's something it's not.  There's an almost tribal backing vocal sound that gives the track an organic, warm vibe, and the production is smooth but not overwraught.  It's essentially what an UNPRETENTIOUS POP DIVA SMASH should sound like and in short it is AMAZING.

Leona's one of those people we didn't really realize we missed, but goddamn, Miss Lewis.  Welcome the f back.

Christina Aguilera and Adam Levine preview the 'Moves Like Jagger' video which is shaping up to be very good indeed

I am not unattractive.

We enjoy 'Moves Like Jagger.'  Let's get that out of the way now.  But we certainly don't think it's the BRILLIANT PIECE OF POP MUSIC that some of our friends are making it out to be.  It's nothing groundbreaking and - as evinced by the fact that everyone's already kind of forgotten about it - it's nothing that people will particularly remember in a few months' time.

The video, on the other hand, is going to be AMAZING.  Why?  Because ADAM LEVINE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF IN IT.  Also Christina looks thin.  So you know they dropped a wad of money on post-production cause making someone look skinny when they DEFINITELY AREN'T is not cheap. 

Here's the preview.  In which ADAM LEVINE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF.  In case we didn't mention that. 

Demi Lovato falls off her 'Skyscraper' in NEW VIDEO - watch the premiere now!

Yeah I'm basically just Blossom for the 20-teens.

Demi Lovato's new single is currently the number 1 download on iTunes in the US, so there's no use in debating whether it is good or bad or in between because it is obviously quite popular regardless.  What we can talk about is the video, which for whatever reason comes off as a weird companion piece to ex Joe Jonas' recently released clip.

Both feature BROODING EMOTIONAL WRECKS OF HUMAN BEINGS and also SMOKE and THE DESERT.  Joe at least had some eye candy and neat camera work in his, but Demi's comes off a little... budget.  We get it, you probably spent a lot on rehab, Demi, but come on.  This is your big comeback.  You could have at least thrown in a dance break or a guy pouring milk over himself in a convertible. 

Lazy.

The Sound Of Arrows are back with a new video for a genius song

"We are Swedish. Bork Bork Bork."

We are obsessed with Sound of Arrows.  They are kind of a modern day Enigma but hipper and a bit more pop.  Which means they are amazing.

We first fell in love with them after they put out 'Into The Clouds' last year, which is basically the exact track you'd want your friends to play if you were having a really bad LSD trip and needed to CHILL THE F*CK OUT, YOU GUYS, I'M SERIOUS but also the kind of track that, when pumped through some ridiculously oversized hipster headphones, makes a nice stroll down the street infinitely nicer.  Though they've been relatively quiet since (their major label debut, buzz single 'Nova', didn't chart), our excitement over the Swedish duo's work hasn't faded.  AND RIGHTLY SO.

Their new track 'Magic' continues their streak of brilliant tunes, but ups the stakes by pairing it with an unexpectedly gorgeous short film.  And gorgeous really is the word for the whole project.  The song sounds like nothing that's out there right now, the film looks like nothing that's out there right now (think the Narnia film series if they used a lot more pink and also were, you know, GOOD) and the whole vibe of the project is just really super awesome and stuff. 

The track is out August 1st and the video looks like this:



Thank you, Sound of Arrows.  Thanks.