Aqua's 'How R U Doin?' video is not terrible just like the song - watch now

Totally credible band.

Oh Aqua.  With your Casio beats and mousy vocals.  With your poetic lyrics and ridiculous Euro-raps.  Back in the day we were SUPER DUPER AWESOMELY CLOSE.  Besties even.  We would skip and laugh and play hopscotch and giggle about the cute boys who we were too scared to talk to, and shop and gossip and totally get our periods at the exact same time.  Nothing could touch us and no one could break us.  And then we grew up.

And in growing up, we grew apart.  Life wasn't so simple anymore.  You had some stuff going on, and we CERTAINLY HAD SOME STUFF GOING ON, and then we smoked a lot of salvia and fell in with the bad girls who hung out in the bathroom and swore a lot, while you were off doing your competitive cheerleading and experimenting with bulimia.  

But a few months ago we ran into you unexpectedly.  It was great to see you - it really was - but we kept it quick cause you were doing this whole tacky Christmas single thing and we really didn't want to bother you.  And also because the track was really shit and we didn't want to have to lie to you about it when you were like 'OMG HOW GREAT IS OUR NEW HOLIDAY SONG?'

Since then we've checked in with each other a couple times, and it's been really nice to be back in each others' lives,  especially now that you seem to be getting back on your feet. The new song you've done, 'How R U Doin,' is actually kind of listenable, and the video isn't as terrible as it very easily could have been.

I guess what we're trying to say is, we may never be super close again, and it's not like we'll ever go back to braiding each others' hair in our pjs, or stealing noserings from Claire's Accessories, but it's really great to see you doing so well, and next time you're in town we should totally grab coffee and catch up.

Unless you have a shit holiday single out.

Aqua asks 'How R U Doin?' in their brand new track - listen to the premiere now!

"oh my god you guys this look is totally timeless"

Aqua, the 90's dance band that weren't the Vengaboys, were totally the jam for about 4 and a half minutes back in the day.  Everyone of course remembers their bona fide classic 'Barbie Girl,' but people seem to forget that the band have sold THIRTY THREE MILLION ALBUMS and are the most successful Danish act of all time.  (It's true - Google it.  And then pray for humanity.)

We're not going to tell you we didn't spend our late teens with their debut album on repeat, but we also can't pretend their output after about 1998 was anything but ABSOLUTE SHIT.  So, it's with some trepidation that we have watched as their "big comeback" has unfolded.

After a decade away from the spotlight, Aqua's uphill struggle to reclaim some sliver of relevance began with their holiday track, which was called 'Spin Me A Christmas' for no reason and was the musical equivalent to getting dog vomit stuck in your shoe.  It hardly made a blip on our radar, and if anything it just reinforced our view that the group had long surpassed their expiration date.

But now we have our first glimpse of the band's new non-novelty work, in the form of their comeback single 'How R U Doin?' and um....it's not horrible.  It's kind of a Euro Ke$ha thing.  Like Britney, but if she was a Russian hooker whose "go-to" outfit was made of purple vinyl.  So like Britney full stop, really.

Anyway, here it is in all its not-terrible glory.  It's nothing life changing, but Aqua have always been known for their videos, so with the right clip this might actually pull off the impossible and make them a bankable act one more time.  Dig out your JNCO Jeans and your glowsticks, cause it's about to get all 90's ECSTACY WAREHOUSE PARTY up in here.

EDIT:  the video below is probably already gone because UMG Music apparently doesn't want anyone to actually hear what their artists are doing.  So listen to the track HERE.  It's actually worth it.

Sign of the Apocalypse #10: Aqua's 'Spin Me Your Christmas' gets a video

Sometimes words fail and we here at ScopiSat have to just sit back and let a work of true artistry speak for itself.  So here, without any introduction or fanfare, is video for the soon-to-be-perennial-classic Aqua Christmas single. 

Aqua want you to 'Spin Me Your Christmas' in their new track

The Aqua 'comeback' continues its...er....half-assed trudge across the globe...with this new track that is being scotch taped onto the end of their latest album.  Because clearly this - THIS - will be that extra push that people need to buy the package en masse.  Yes, NOW the throngs will form, pounding at the gates of the last remaining record shop in the EU.  iTunes will crash from the data overload.  7Digital will freeze.  The maniacal hordes of Aqua fans, in their double-clicking desperation, will bring down Europe's telecommunications infrastructure, clamoring for just one more listen of 'Spin Me Your Christmas,' Aqua will reverse its descent into obscurity and POP WILL BE SAVED.  Yes.  That is exactly what will happen. 

Aqua is back - watch the video to 'My Mama Said' now!

Apparently there is some big 'people having dinner' movement among music video directors (see yesterday's Stefanie Heinzmann post).  The latest evidence comes from Aqua's new video to accompany their forthcoming greatest hits package, and we'll warn you, readers... it is.......Euro.  It all starts off well, and you might even think to yourself, as we did, 'wow this is actually coming off rather classy and credible - Aqua might just return to relevance.'  And then the guy who we'll always think of as 'Ken' starts speak-singing and the whole thing turns and any semblance of legitimacy is lost except for in a tiny corner of Europe where they like this sort of thing. 


Find more videos like this on The Hype Factor

5/10 but only because the beginning is quite nice.  The Aqua greatest hits album is out next year but we'll probably just stick to playing our 'My Oh My' single over and over and reliving our late teens.