So Lana Del Rey has a new "video" - let's discuss this nonsense

This is clearly the "after" picture.

WTF, Lana Del Rey.  We get that you got you are all artsy and "real" even though you plumped up your lips like they were past-their-prime couch cushions.  And we get that your "Video Games" track was pretty decent.  But first, your new song "Born To Die" is a crappy hipster pastiche of 60's suicide-pop, and second and most importantly, what in the fresh hell do you think you're doing with this "video"?

As Gawker (which we affectionately call "Gayker" because it is clearly run by fabulously snarky homosexuals) pointed out, when searching for the track on YouTube, there are tons of links to the "OFFICIAL VIDEO" which is TERRIBLY MISLEADING because it is not a real video at all, rather a clip of Lana naked hugging some skanky fauxhemian and mugging for the camera.  Then, at the bottom, there is a little text box that says "OFFICIAL VIDEO COMING SOON."

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENSE. 

We were just barely on board when the whole "lyric video" thing started, because since a good number of people "watch their music" on YouTube nowadays, it made sense to do something different than just chucking up a still of the artist while a track played. 

We even can get down with the endless "teasers" that artists trickle out of their creative teats as of late.  We like to be teased, and if it's good enough for movies it's good enough for music videos. 

But no.  You can't just release a "music video" and then tell people "OH JUST KIDDING THIS ISN'T REALLY THE MUSIC VIDEO, I'LL BE DOING SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FOR THAT."  And you certainly shouldn't be setting a precedent that this is the thing to be done to create buzz for a Credible New Artiste (tm). 

That's bullshit, Lana Del Rey.  And your boyfriend looks like he smells.