Britney wants you to buy a lot of things in her 'Hold It Against Me' video

"Hmmm...maybe this should have come out two weeks ago"

Leave it to Brit Brit to pull a GENUINELY GOOD video clip out of her dimpled ass right in time for no one to care about it.

Just as everyone stopped giving a crap about 'Hold It Against Me,' Brit has decided to finally chuck out a video for the song.  Unfortunately for her, it's probably not going to get anyone to care about the track again, but fortunately for a number of manufacturing conglomerates, it will get people caring about their products.

It all starts out well enough, with a plug for Brit's own perfume (acceptable) but it quickly escalates into a PROMOTIONAL SHITSHOW with close-ups of a Sony TV (understandable) and the dating site PlentyOfFish (WTH?!).

As for the "plot" of the video, it mostly consists of Brit standing around in some sort of terrifying Japanese computer shop which is playing her old videos for some reason and then participating in a (rather spectacular) fight scene with herself which leaves her bleeding neon paint all over her pretty white wedding dress.

Oh yes, a wedding dress.  For whatever reason Britney is standing in a terrifying Japanese computer superstore IN A WEDDING DRESS.  We presume this is because her wranglers would like everyone to subconsciously believe that, regardless of the head-shaving, poon-flashing and hick-marrying, Brit is once again pure and virginal and.....oh wait she's dancing in black leather with a gay guy.

NEVER MIND.



"AMAZING"