Glee does Britney - listen to some Glitney tracks now!

We're just going to come out and say it.  We hate Glee.  Not the idea, no, and we actually loved the first couple episodes.  It was biting, satirical and - most importantly - it told a compelling story.  Since then, however, it's devolved into a messy hour long commercial for the music it churns out.  At this point it's pretty clear that the "men upstairs" just decide what super great songs they want to rape, and then shoehorn the plot around them while a bunch of 32 year-olds dance around pretending they are promiscuous teenagers with biologically autotuned voiceboxes.

That said, a Britney episode is coming up and that is AMAZING.  Why, you ask?  Because it is BRITNEY. 

Here's a preview of what tracks we can expect to hear:



The Britney episode airs Tuesday at 9 EST on FOX

Prepare to watch the most amazing piece of crap you've ever seen

This is a band called Mmadcatz, singing something called 'Puppets' and it contains the best inter-band high-five in pop video history at 2:20.

It is a song about puppets that neither cry nor die and is absolutely terrifying in terms of both subject matter and execution but is also PHENOMENAL for a number of inarticulable reasons. 



You're welcome.

Is anyone else a bit sick of Lady Gaga pontificating?

....Just us then?



We get it.  Gaga's a huge star.  She has sold millions of records and holds the rapt attention of millions of gay hipsters the world over.  And to be fair what she's advocating in this video is quite a good thing - we here at ScopiSat are staunchly against Don't Ask, Don't Tell (we are a pop blog for chrissake).  But something about this video just rubs us the wrong way...

Maybe it's that she "addresses" it to specific members of the Senate of the United States of America, before "educating" them on what, exactly, Don't Ask, Don't Tell is.  Because, as members of the US Senate, they clearly don't know.

Maybe it's the SUPER SERIOUS voice she puts on while reading her script.

Maybe it's the (actually quite good looking) lip injections she CLEARLY had.

Or maybe we just need a break from the Lady for just a bit.

In any case, she got a lot of people talking about Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and regardless of how she did it, we're appreciative of that.  And let's not forget she showed up to the MTV Awards with a bunch of discharged gay servicemembers.  And gives (a lot of) money to (a lot of) great causes.  And in all actuality the rest of the video past the 2:00 mark is kind of good.   But still....

Let's just avoid the "talking down to elected officials" thing, shall we?

A rational discussion about Cheryl Cole's 'Promise This' video premiere

F*CKING BRILLIANT




Ok for real though.  It's super nice to see Cheryl ditch the faux-urban mess of the last album and embrace the pure pop cultivated by her stint with Girls Aloud.  If there's one thing history has taught us, it's that pop artists should never, ever go "street" to try to stay relevant (we're looking at you, Ricky Martin's 'I Don't Care') and Cheryl, thankfully, looks to be sidestepping that pit of despair and chart humiliation.

After an epic bout with Malaria that essentially stalled her career in its tracks for a few months, Cheryl needed a smash and it looks like she may have turned one out.  'Promise This' is the rare pop record that is literally QUITE WEIRD but also VERY AMAZING at the same time, and the video mimics that odd but glorious energy.  It's a sort of 90's-dancing-meets-ballet-and-high-fashion-at-an-art-school-student-showcase affair, but against all the odds, it actually works.

With Cheryl set to be a judge the forthcoming American version of 'X Factor' (you know, because she has lots of experience being SUPER SUCCESSFUL in America), things certainly are looking up after the wobbly start of her debut solo album.  Not commercially, of course - it was by all accounts a huge smash - but the whole project was ridiculously divisive amongst critics, 'the blogs' and, most importantly, the fans.  This time around, though, looks like this is one 'Promise' Cheryl can keep.  (Yes.  See what we did there?)



'Promise This' is out Oct. 24, followed by her album 'Messy Little Raindrops' Nov. 1 in the UK.  A US release is set to follow (HRNK!!!)

Sheryl and Justin Timberlake want to 'Sign Your Name' - watch the video premiere now!

We kind of forgot about Sheryl Crow...not in a completely off-the-radar kind of way, because she's always turning up on some tragic magazine like InStyle or that little thing printed on super cheap paper they give away free at the pharmacy counter that always has a name like 'LIVING NOW' or 'VIBRANT LIFE' or something, but we've more forgotten her in an "oh yeah she makes music too" way.

We know we're not the only ones in this boat, and we have a sneaking suspicion Sheryl knows too.  To remedy the situation, she's teamed up with the one and only Justin Timberlake to redo the classic (really?) Terence Trent D’Arby track 'Sign Your Name.'  It's a little...underwhelming...but perfectly nice, we suppose.  The video, however, looks a bit like something Bonnie Raitt would have done 15 years ago if she had become an alcoholic and couldn't be bothered anymore.  There's nothing obviously offensive about it, it's just a bit naff - something Justin's "people" must have picked up on, because he is NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.  You can kind of tell he's on backing vocals in the track, but anyone scouring the video for his adorable mug will be sorely disappointed. 

Ah well, back to the 'HEALTHY LIFESTYLE' cover then, Sher.

Kelly Rowland's 'Rose Colored Glasses' finally gets a VERY GOOD video - watch the premiere now!

Let's talk for a second about Kelly Rowland (pictured above being "fierce").  Doesn't it feel like ages since Kelly's 'Rose Colored Glasses' got sort-of-but-not-really released in the U.S.?  It should, because it HAS BEEN.  It has been out for download since June (!!) but is just now getting a video for some reason.  Let's take a look at the things that have happened since then:

1.  The war in Iraq ended*
2.  ScopiSat got a total of 5 hair cuts and found 2 gray hairs
3.  Lindsay Lohan went to jail and then got out again
4.  'Inception' made $300 million dollars

    * - but not really


Also, in that time, 'Rose Colored Glasses' was played about 12 times on the radio and sold about 6 copies, giving it a not-so-healthy play/sales ratio of 2:1.  So what's a Destiny's Child member who isn't Beyonce to do?  Throw money at the problem, of course.  And what better way to do that than hiring a VERY BIG director and some top-notch makeup people?   

Shot by Rankin - the man behind one of our favorite videos of the last year, Sky Ferreira's 'One' - 'Rose' is all HIGH FASHION and BOOBS and BIRDS FOR SOME REASON and therefore is GOOD.  (On a side note, white birds seem to be very 'in' this year, what with Kylie's 'All The Lovers' etc.)  It may be a coincidence the clip is premiering during Fashion Week, but regardless, it's very appropriate timing.  Kelly looks incredible and seems to be coming into her own as far as her image is concerned.

 Good job, K-Ro.  



PS the video is in 3D for some reason.

Some notes about last night's MTV VMA's - discuss

So the MTV Video Music Awards happened last night.  As predicted, Lady Gaga won everything and was pretentious the whole time, and a bunch of people performed for too long and a few performed not long enough.  Some notes:

1.  Rihanna was wearing Madonna's old clothes from the 80's and only had to take them in a couple inches
2.  Kanye West is still a douchebag
3.  Taylor Swift still thinks Kanye West is a douchebag
4.  Linkin Park has no business being on the MTV Awards
5.  On second thought, Linkin Park is actually perfect for the MTV Awards because both are now COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT
6.  Robyn's 40 seconds of screen time was HANDS DOWN better than the entire rest of the show in aggregate
7.  Usher still has a sick body even if his face is busted

The end.

Our new obsession is Die Antwoord - prepare to be very very confused

Sometimes things are good.  Sometimes things are bad.  Sometimes things are so bad they are good, or vice versa, and sometimes things are so TERRIFYINGLY STRANGE that they defy any categorization whatsoever and explode your brain into a fine white powder that Ke$ha would pay a lot of good money for.

This is the latter.  The Ke$ha cokewhore one.  It is a thing called Die Antwoord and it is South African, but not in a 'District 9' mainstream-y way.  More in a "some people in the southernmost reaches of the African continent are BATSHIT INSANE and have made a music video that defies all coherent thought" way. 

The group has put out a couple tracks (notably, one called 'Fish Paste') but this particular gem of mental instability is called 'Enter The Ninja' - Ninja being the name of the lead male rapper, and thus a QUITE CLEVER play on the phrase if they do say so themselves.  It is quite literally stunning, in that one can't help but sit in an uneasy stupor for several full minutes after watching the clip, but there's a raw (crazy) and obvious (crazy) talent there that suggests we might be hearing a lot more from these guys.