Lady Gaga has been pretty quiet since she hit the road for her Monster Ball tour, but in keeping with her fondness for trying out new tracks in front of live audiences, a piano ballad called 'Living On The Radio' has surfaced in dodgy YouTube form. It's not going to change the world, and for those of us a little bit over the Gaga schtick it's not going to make us reconsider, but it's certainly pleasant enough.
The new material raises an interesting question, though - if the Lady returned with a new album of ballads and rock-oriented tracks, would her Little Monsters still love her? Maybe it's just the mechanics of performing on the road, or a conscious choice for her image, but Miss Ga seems less and less interested in the 'Just Dance'ing and more into being 'Speechless.'
Jamie Scott is a singer. He is also absolutely perfect in every way that is physically or aurally apparent. He is the kind of person that we all would hate if he wasn't also seemingly sweet, unassuming, and ridiculously talented, and it's hard to imagine that his career isn't going to balloon one of these days.
For now though, he has teamed with producer TommyD for one of those "projects" that creative types are so fond of these days. This particular pairing is called Graffiti 6, and their lead single is the VERY GOOD 'Stare Into The Sun.' It has kind of a low-fi, Beck-meets-Mark Ronson way about it, and though it may not be an instant chart topper, it has all the hallmarks of a slow burner.
Graffiti 6's album is out Sept 27 in the UK, and if that all goes well the US won't be far behind.
So, if Rihanna can scissor with an underwear model in 'Te Amo,' why can't Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams gay it forward with and explore some sexy man-love in their new clip?
For their much-hyped reconciliation, Gary has penned a song that is REALLY QUITE GOOD - one that is a bit reminiscent of The Beatles' middle era production heyday, with tight harmonies and a shuffling beat. Let's be honest though. No one cares about the song when there's a bromance-without-the-'b' clip to go along with it.
The two bona fide rock stars share some longing glances, tender touches, and about three full minutes of eye-f*cking, in a video that toes that thin line between "gay" and "3am in a leather dungeon gay." It's all a bit 'Brokeback Mountain' without the horses or the Oscar nominations, but it suits the song and somehow manages to come off as kind of genuine.
Out Oct 4 in the UK, and will be available on Robbie's 39-track greatest hits package, 'In and Out of Consciousness,' out Oct 11 in the UK and Oct 12 in the US.
She's a tease, that one... just now a 30-second clip of Kylie's 'Get Outta My Way' video showed up online, and it looks every bit as epic as her America's Got Talent performance.
It was directed by the same team behind some of the Ting Tings and Scissor Sisters' best videos, and is said to feature some 'groundbreaking' effects. Word is, it's so special that the video will go on sale prior to the single's release.
So let's go ahead and talk about the big white floating elephant in the room.
Kylie launched her U.S. promo campaign for the 'Aphrodite' album last night in truly epic fashion. In full Dynasty 80's regalia, Miss Minogue pretty much owned the America's Got Talent stage, and gave some hope to the dozens of homosexual men in North America who worship the pop princess as their deity that her recent #19 debut on the Billboard 200 wasn't just a fluke. With a performance on Extreme Makeover Home Edition already in the can, Kylie's hit the summer's two biggest TV ratings powerhouses, and has a number of other U.S. promo appearances in the works.
If there ever was a time for Kylie to jam her stiletto right into the heart of America, it's now, and it seems like for once she's making all the right moves. It'll be interesting to see how this all pans out over the next few months - sure she might not give Katy Perry and her bathtub of lice shampoo a run for their money, but at the very least U.S. airwaves will be just a touch more glittery.
SETTING: The interior of a grubby Hoxton studio flat. A number of strapping young rentboys room together here, in their time off from being tied up in Boy George's basement.
*Phone rings*
Casting Person: "Hello, can I speak to (Miguel/J'Syn/Other model-ly male name) please?"
Model: "Speaking."
Casting Person: "Congratulations, you've got the Alexandra Burke video gig!"
Model: "Hurrah! Now I can pay off my crippling chest-wax debt! Tell me, what can I expect when I arrive?"
Casting Person: "Some lights left over from an old ad campaign, a bit of glitter foil and a sub-par catering table, I'm afraid."
Model: "I see. Well, at least there will be food. Though I don't eat very much. I am a model, you see. What should I wear?"
Casting Person: "Just jeans will be fine."
Model: "Okay jeans and t-shirt, got it."
Casting Person: "No. Just jeans."
Model: "Ah. And what sort of rehearsal will there be?"
Casting Person: "Unfortunately we spent the bulk of our budget on the lights and foil I was telling you about. So, the choreography will have to be learned over the course of about 20 minutes, primarily from a dated aerobics workout tape."
Model: "Hmm. Well, all that aside, it's still Alexandra Burke isn't it, so I'm rather excited even so."
Casting Person: "Yes, I can understand that, but I feel you should know that she will be dancing alongside you in the clip"
Model: "Oh. This isn't going to be very good, is it?"
It has finally happened, dear ScopiSubjects. "The Industry" has caught on that people in the United States have generally no taste when it comes to music, and that for any record to sell within its borders, the music contained within said album must be ACTUAL SHIT.
Don't believe us? Well, let's break down what is going on with Kelly Rowland's album release together:
1. Despite dance anthem 'Commander' becoming a worldwide chart-topper, Kelly's people decide to release the distinctly more "urban" 'Rose Colored Glasses' for the album's U.S. kickoff. This type of targeted marketing happens quite a bit, actually, and to be fair we were fine with it because 'Glasses' is literally brilliant.
But beware, readers. This is what we call TRAGIC FORESHADOWING.
2. After forcing David Guetta and Kelly to sit in a room and repeatedly collaborate for days at a time with presumably no breaks for food, water or defecation, and then spending tens of dollars on "buzz" and such to make her a credible dance artist, "The Suits" decide to chuck all that hard work out the window. Why? So they can spend another $950 (in Strawberry gift cards) on making Kelly BACK INTO A CREDIBLE R&B ARTIST SOMEHOW.
...but only for the U.S. All those Guetta tracks will still be used as-is in every other territory, while for the good ol' U.S.of A they will be remade with, or replaced by, urban production and a host of guest stars ranging from Ne-Yo to Pitbull.
3. Gleefully ignoring the fact that being a "bona fide dance artiste" and being a "authentic R&B songstress" are pretty much mutually exclusive, the honchos in charge inexplicably come to the conclusion that nothing could be savvier than releasing a ridiculous (it features Nelly) version of a single that the rest of the world and the U.S. dance community already embraced, got sick of, and cast aside.
4. We all get to listen to this steaming pile of crap while we preorder the GOOD version of the album from Amazon UK:
Sky Ferreira's handlers decided that 'One' was just too brilliant for the US, which may very well be true, but it seems like they could have chosen something a little better to launch their new mealticket in North America. 'Obsession' isn't bad, but it's not particularly good or ground breaking either. It has a Pink-ish, 80's rock edge to it that could have been great, and an electro vibe that also could have been super. The lyrics are pretty standard Ke$ha cast-off, and the tune isn't really that hummable. Which all means it will be number 1 on the Hot 100 for 6 months and we will stab ourselves in the eye. So here it is, in its full mediocrity:
Ting Tings rode their last album 'We Started Nothing' into the ground for about a decade it seems. Not that it wasn't brilliant, we just wish that while they promoted 'We Started Nothing' they....started something. Well after conquering the world with bona fide jams like 'That's Not My Name' and 'Shut Up And Let Me Go,' the duo are FINALLY BACK with the Calvin Harris - produced 'Hands.' It's a bit of a new direction for the band, but at the same time makes perfect sense. They've performed it live a few times, complete with some brilliant stage sign antics, but the radio and online premiere has just hit the interwebs. It might take a few listens, but trust us... you'll come around.
Eva Simons never really took off last year, and is still most remembered (when she is at all) for her track 'Silly Boy,' because for about 5 minutes everyone thought it was the new Rihanna single. Essentially a Gaga-clone, she was very "of the moment" but never really clicked. Fast forward a year, and Simons is getting a second chance with 'Take Over Control.' It's officially an Afrojack (up and coming DJ Nick van de Wall) track, with the tablemaster carrying top billing. But, as is the way of these things, it is Eva who does the vocal heavy lifting, and it could just as easily be her own solo single. It manages to give the singer a much more identifiable sound than 'Boy,' and underscores the idea that there may be some life in this Dutch glamazon yet. It's a hands-out, pants-down, poppers-o-clock rave-up even in this low-quality rip, and you can bet your booty shorts and American Apparel tank that the remixes are going to be EPIC.
No word on an official release, but promos and white labels are popping up all over.
Two years on from the flop of her last album, it's time for the return of Donna Summer (pictured above as the disembodied head of a transsexual). No, it's not an ode to Miss Hilton (sadly), but 'To Paris With Love' is a largely-above-average pop tune that suits Donna's voice to a tee. It's easy and breezy and we're sure Cover Girls everywhere will be snorting things and yakking up their organic carb-free omelettes to it for weeks to come. Could this finally be her moment to make a comeback? What do you think, readers?
Scissor Sisters' album launch has been a bit of a misfire this go-round, if only for lack of an iconic and accessible lead single. This seems to be the way of the world these days, however, as artists have realized that once they achieve huge success there is a pressure to perform to that level - a level that almost always is a fluke and almost never is repeatable. One way to get around that is to, on the next album, "soft launch" a record and manage expectations by not being as in-your-face as most blockbuster artists are. A media blitz and corker of a single may get a lot of attention, but chances are the impact won't live up to the prior album's glory right off the bat. And nothing stings harder or makes better headlines than an EPIC ALBUM CAMPAIGN that results in tepid sales (yes, that's Christina Aguilera you hear being thrown under the bus right now). To avoid that stink of "flop," artists and record companies have realized that if they don't try so hard, no one slates the record for not being as big as the one prior. Cue the Scissor Sisters' 'Night Work,' a solid collection of tunes that makes for a great follow-up. Since there really was nowhere to go from their last LP but down, the band have scaled things back a bit and allowed themselves room to grow. Because nothing is more claustrophobic than a pop act's huge success.
Anyhoodle, long story short, the Sisters have a new single and video out and both are very amazing. The song features KYLIE ON BACKING VOCALS and the video features HOT SHIRTLESS MEN AND NEON COLORS. Quite obviously both are incredible.
So Sky Ferreira, quite frankly the best candidate for "next big thing," has decided not to launch into the US market with the ACTUALLY INCREDIBLE 'One' that the UK and other territories is getting. Instead, she (read: her people) has selected a Ryan Tedder jam that falls a bit more into the "American Top 40 Blandness" mold that us listeners stateside swear by for some tragic reason. As these things go, however, it's pretty damn amazing - at least it seems so from the low quality 30-second clip that showed up on the interwebs. Check it out let us know what you think!
Alphabeat are a very electronic band and have thus far stayed with the imagery that befits such a group. That all changes with the video for 'Heat Wave,' which shows the group backstage and performing in some sort of perhaps-misguided effort to paint them as a "proper band" in the vein of those knobbish boys with guitars that play festivals and are generally very crap. It's still quite pretty though, and the guy who is clearly the hot one (you know exactly who we're talking about so stop pretending you don't) keeps getting hotter so we're fine with it. Also, as live videos go, it's a pretty great way to approach it. The effects and such are spot-on.
The song itself is....not their best, but somehow, coupled with the video treatment, the whole things just kind of works. Which is super in theory but will quite obviously do nothing to save the floundering 'The Beat' album campaign. With this run at the charts all but lost, look for some kind of either crap or very brilliant rebranding their next LP.
Here's the thing about the new Alesha single. It is loud, tuneless and a little annoying at the best of times. That puts it about on par with the vast majority of chart-toppers (We are looking firmly in the direction of you, Rihanna), but 'Drummer Boy' has something going for it that many other tracks don't: despite all the foregoing, it also is very very good.
The video is perhaps Alesha's best so far as well. Gone is the girl-next-door simplicity and in its place is high concept styling and a Snooki hair bump to end them all. Long story short, Alesha has really upped her game this go-round. It's a little reminiscent of the Jamelia 'Beware of the Dog' makeover, and we all know that is a very, very good thing.
David Archuleta the American Idol alum has been laying low recently, and as a result we kind of got him confused with Joe McElderry the X-Factor winner who just bravely came out to the whole world, and started writing this whole article about how David is gay now and blah blah blah. Well that is totally not true (in the way that it is ACTUALLY true but David's publicist won't let him say so) so we have to talk about his new single or something instead. It's a decent pop tune and it has a beat and you can dance to it. The end.
The single cover for what is gearing up to be K-mo's biggest single in years (one Mr. Stark can quote us on that) has finally been plopped onto the interwebs and it's kind of crap/fabulous in a low-res 'let's wait until we see the finished product' way. With an absolutely epic remix package and what will hopefully be a big budget video (for once, EMI, please) the GOOMW launch is shaping up to be very exciting indeed. Thoughts?
To be honest we kind of forgot Garbage existed. Not that we didn't love them, they just sort of faded away and as it turns out they didn't leave much of a void behind. But now - because the time is PERFECT FOR A COMEBACK or something - former frontwoman Shirley Manson is finally unleashing her first solo material.
In the interest of managing expectations, let's just say right off the bat that it's a bit underwhelming, so don't get too excited. It's kind of a Fiona Apple cast-off, right down to the copycat "I've been a bad bad girl" lyric and melody ripped from Apple's genius 'Criminal,' and - while not terrible - is completely and utterly forgettable. But, as Shirley takes great pains to point out, this is just a demo, so we can all hope and pray that somewhere tucked beneath her shockingly well preserved exterior she is hiding some brilliant and original ideas.
Hurts are from Manchester. But before you let that turn you off, they are also very stylish and make some excellent music. There are two of them (thus, we imagine, the reason they are Hurts instead of just Hurt) and one of them is very attractive and one of them can sing very well.
Up til now Hurts have been one of those bands that make all the critics vomit superlatives over themselves but don't really find any commercial success of note. That might change, however, with this rather genius Freemasons mix of the group's new single 'Wonderful Life.' It manages to be completely poppers-friendly while still being credible, and as EVERYONE knows that is a very hard line to toe.
The video itself is a re-edit done by something called a 'Riley York' and we are pretty sure it has nothing to do with Hurts officially, but does manage to make the original video fit the feel of the mix a bit more.
And yes. We have a crush on the guy in the band that just stands there too.
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